When The Video Game’s AI is Broken
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When The Video Game’s AI is Broken

September 27, 2019


OoH! That’s a Good Lookin’ Treasure Chest, Baby! I can’t wait to crack it open like an easter egg and see what’s inside! I hope it’s like an amulet with +7 Strength. Monster: Ooooh… You’re a dummy! You’re a frickin’ dummy! You thought I was going to leave this chest unguarded? Man, your some kind of-… you got worms for brain… You got worms for brain, dog! Hehhh… yhah! (banging against rock noise) What the-? What the hell? Adventurer: Hold on. You’re telling me, if I hide behind a tiny piece of rubble, you can’t attack me? Thief: You came to the wrong part of the woods, adventurer! Prepare to die! HYAH! (more rock) Wow, this is some strong magic… he just put a rock in my way that I don’t know how to walk around! Ice God: YOU FOOL! YOU DARE ENTER THE SANCTUM OF THE ICE GOD?! PREPARE TO DIE! (barrel) (barrel) Are you even listening?! Adventurer: *sigh* Ooh, yeah, that’s the thing. If you can tire yourself on that barrel… Uhh… I’ll get back to you like in 5 minutes, K? Ice God: YOU KNOW WHAT, SCREW THIS! (barrel smashing noises) Adventurer: Gah! Oh NO! It’s what I’ve always feared! I’m gonna have to fight you… legitimately! Monster: Wait a minute… how the hell did you do that?

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  1. Ice god:YOU DARE ENTER THE LAIR OF THE ICE GOD PREPARE TO DIE
    Rock:I'm gonna have to stop you right there
    Ice god (who only has melee attacks):WHAT THE HELL
    Adventurer:hey guys
    Archer thief and cliric:yeah?
    Adventurer:do one of you guys have ranged attacks?
    Archer:I got this
    Ice god:oh no
    Archer:*shoots ice god with 1928364 arrows*
    Ice god:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

  2. The hilarious thing is that games use pseudo AI for the enemies XD

    They have tried using actual AI in games against players in tests and the AI always trashed the players 10/10 .-.

  3. Just like the Ice Golems in Terraria, nobody fights them legitimately. You just trap them in a small space, and they're dead meat.

  4. This is so relatable like the drone view games on psp the little rock can be used to block them like a barrier

  5. "gonna have to fight… legitimately…." Unless you're playing a bethesda game, in which case you can fall back on your fail-safe glitches like the 9999999 dmg spoon or the -100% magic cost

  6. Me: "HAHAHA YOU FOOL, USING THIS IMMORTAL OBJECT I CAN BECOME AN INVINCIBLE SHIELD!!"

    Archer: (pulls out reverse Uno card)

    Me: surprised Pikachu face

  7. True story: playing Eternal Ring for PS2, I get to the cabin where monster comes out spewing fire and stand in the corner between the cabin and the cliff face, and I am untouched and the monster cannot reach me but I can smack it repeatedly with my attacks hahaha

  8. AI: battle Battle BATLLE
    Me:Kay
    AI:great now KIYA oh oh no a stupid rock
    Me 😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣
    Me : BOOM FIREBALL BABY

  9. Meanwhile, in Xenoblade Chronicles:

    Me: Ughh… Well, I'm several dozens of meters away from this giant beast that can only bite and use its claws. I'm also behind a huge mountain. There's no way it can hurt me…

    Giant beast: Am about to end this man's whole career…

  10. Legend says that the monster is still stuck behind that rock.
    5 Years later:
    Monster:UGH SOMEONE- AH, HELP ME PAST!

  11. "Wait, you're telling me if I hide behind this rock, not only can she not see me, but I can fire remote-controlled missiles at her and there's nothing she can do about it?!"

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