The Patient Gamer
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The Patient Gamer

September 30, 2019


Hey, what you playing? It’s this new Assassin’s Creed thing Oh, I didn’t know they made one this year Wait, that’s not new, that’s the first one New to me! Woah, you’ve got a lot of games here Yeah, well I’ve been waiting a long time to play these and I’m glad I did This Altaïr guy, he’s going places Waiting for what? The price! I wait for it to drop to something reasonable, and then buy it used These are a decade old! What is a reasonable price for you? Two dollars! Five (dollars) on special occasions This, this is how you game the system Wait, so you won’t buy anything until it hits the bargain bin at a retro games store? Just pirate them and save yourself some time Unlike you I have some respect for the artists You’re buying used copies! The developers aren’t even getting that pocket change! At least be a socially acceptable leech like the rest of us and use Steam sales I’m more comfortable with hard copies Oh my god, it’s like talking to 2007 Tell you what though, I’m pretty sure I’ve cracked the future of gaming Motion controls Ok, if you’re gonna do this, then I have some things to tell you I’m from your future, listen carefully. Half-Life 3 Yeah? Still not a thing Oh, well that’s a surprise I guess I’ll just console myself with Duke Nukem Forever That one actually did happen What, was it good? No, no… Of course not There will be more Assassin’s creeds, too many to count But you only need every other game Things to avoid: the Kinect, The Ouya Anything EA has ever touched If any game says Early Access by the time you get to it, it’s not worth trying Peter Molyneux is a false prophet, do not believe him Invest in a PC, the console wars are beneath you The most addicting game in the world is a low resolution lego simulator Now when you find it I won’t see you again for about a year, so at least text me to let me know you’re okay Mass Effect 3… Don’t do that If you were ever a SEGA fan I’m really sorry, but it somehow gets worse One day there will be a game that breaks all expectations of what is possible It will be a nearly infinite universe, with procedurally generated planets That you can land on, and manipulate, and change and other players will be able to see the impact you have on those worlds because they’re interacting with the same universe It’s the game that you’ve always dreamed of And it’s just awful, it’s really disappointing, don’t buy it Aww, man, you’re talking about Spore aren’t you? Oh, right! That, yeah, no, no That’s not what I was talking about, that happens twice Well, this has been illuminating and mostly disappointing Um, but thanks One more question: I’ve been hearing about this Skyrim thing Is that worth buying? Oh, yeah it’s fantastic, I just pre-orderdered it for, like, the fourth time *Ding-dingety music plays* *Ding dingety music still plays*

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  1. Hard copies are the way to go, tho I’ll wait for a drop to 30 dollars with most games as I don’t have 79.99 to pay for my games that’s a little overbudget tho 79.99 is fine for Cyberpunk

  2. Anyone else forced to be a patient gamer till they got old enough to start making some real cash, I had to wait quite some time to always get the most recent console but by then everyone else was playing the next console, I finally started catching up in my pre-teens and teens when I got my job, lol!

  3. The way I see it: By the time you get to those games that everyone was talking about but you finally got it will be a sixth of the original price and all updated/patched up from any previous bugs, totally worth it, IMO!

  4. I did not know that the name of the developer of the Fable series was named Peter Monyleux, but I still understood they were talking about him. Says a lot about the Fable series.

  5. PC is sooo much better beacuse it Runs kinda better and looks kinda better yes consoles are objectively worse machines but the games still look amazing i don't know about you guys but i don't give a shit if the hairs of the Beard of my character individually move with the wind as long as it's fun hell i will play something that is black and white and in pixel art if it's fun and i won't play fucking the order no matter how good it looks but gamers are so obsessed with graphics now a days it's annoying yes good graphics are awesome and ads to the experience but now people shit on entire communities beacuse their piece of plastic works slightly better than their other piece of plastic SHIT. Thanks for listening to me ramble for ni reason 🙂

  6. Worst thing is I'm like this! I mean I still buy new games but I have so many games I want it takes time to get them all! Also whats wrong with playing old games? I've been playing the 1994 Breath of Fire on the Nintendo online and Love it! But I never played it before now! Also another good reason to buy games when there a little older is its easier to find walkthroughs for it when you get stuck!

  7. i'll have you know Mass Effect 3's multiplayer is fucking amazing and you haven't played sci-fi coop until you've played the multiplayer

    Imo

  8. "Invest in a PC – The console wars are below you" – the best single piece of advice given to any human at any point in the history of man.

  9. Somehow the perfect game needs a built in expereince and custom ones from the community that you could play with your freinds while minipulating EVERYTHING

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