S2E9: “Pulpo”
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S2E9: “Pulpo”

January 19, 2020


♪ That’s my girl♪ Yeah, who’s been working
so damn hard
you got that head on overload
♪ Got yourself
this flawless body
aching now from head to toe
♪ Ain’t nothing, ain’t nothing[GRUNTING]♪ Good girls better get bad♪ You’ve been down before
you’ve been hurt before
♪ You got up before
you’ll be good to go
good to go
[TORY GRUNTING]♪ Get mad independent
and don’t you ever forget it
♪ Got some dirt
on your shoulder
let me brush it off for ya
♪ If you’re feeling me
put your five high
[GRUNTS] [GROANS]♪ That’s my girl♪ That’s my girl♪ That’s my girlTORY:Some people have it good.The rest of us?We have to fight
for every inch
of what’s ours.
SAM:Everyone’s
got a sob story.
That doesn’t give you
the right to be a bully.
[YELPS] [GRUNTING]♪ That’s my girl♪ That’s my girl
that’s my girl
[CONTINUES GRUNTING] [GRUNTING]♪ Ain’t nothing, ain’t nothing♪ Now put your heart
and your soul in it
[BOTH PANTING]♪ That’s my girl
that’s my girl
♪ That’s my girl ♪[SAM LAUGHING] So, you ready to tell
my parents about us? [INHALES, EXHALES DEEPLY] Now I am. [BOTH CHUCKLE SOFTLY] [SHANNON CRYING] SHANNON: I didn’t mean
to bother you… AMANDA: Hey. Hey, it’s okay. Mom? I’m sorry. [SIGHS] Robby,
I’m sorry. Cabo was a mistake. I could’ve
told you that. I know. I know that I haven’t
been there for you and I… God, it’s been hard
for me. I want to make
things right. But, um… I have to leave again. Of course. Where to this time?
Baja, Vegas? Rehab. I need help, sweetie. And it’s taken me
a really long time
to realize that. But, I… The drinking,
the pills… I have to change.
I want to, for you. That’s great, Mom.
[CHUCKLES] Um, Mr. and Mrs. LaRusso said that you’re welcome
to stay with them. You know, until I’m
done with my program.
[SNIFFLES] You can also stay
with your father. No. Look, I know
the two of you don’t have the best
of relationships,
but that’s… That’s partly my fault. I don’t want my own
issues with your dad to poison you against him. He does care about you. I know he wants you
in his life. [ROSA SPEAKING SPANISH] [IN ENGLISH] It’s just dinner,
Mama. Let’s see where it goes. Besides, I’m not sure
how I feel about him. [LAUGHS,
SPEAKS SPANISH] [IN ENGLISH LAUGHING]
Hot for teacher. [KNOCK ON DOOR] Hi, Johnny. Hey. Wow. You ready to go? Bye. [SPEAKS SPANISH] Thank you. Good night, Mama. SAM: And then we got
kicked out of the roller rink.I can’t believe she would do
that to you, I’m so sorry.
I just don’t understand
what Miguel sees in her.Well, at least you both
moved on, right?
Yeah.Hey. Why don’t you
come over later?
My mom’s out of town,
you can bring your
karate friends.
You’re throwing a party?Yeah, it should be wild.[KNOCK ON DOOR] I got to go,
but I’ll think about it. Hey, just so you know,
your father and I
are going out later. Let me guess, lobster night
at the country club? Wow, we’re not that
predictable, are we? [CHUCKLES] For your information,
he is taking me out
to dinner and dancing. Fun. Yeah. What about you?
Oh, let me guess. Mini-golf and frozen yogurt. I’m not that
predictable, am I? Hmm. Well, look, whatever you do,
have fun, make good choices. I know I don’t have
to worry about you. Thanks, Mom. I want that guy. An octopus. Interesting. [SAM LAUGHS] [MUSIC PLAYING] [INDISTINCT CHATTER] So, how’s Miguel’s
training going? It’s going great.
He’s on the right path,
you should be proud. I am. He’s a good boy. He’s a good man. You’re right.
He’s growing up so fast. He has a new girlfriend,
I can’t keep up
with all the drama. When you’re a teenager,
it’s hard to avoid a little… Oh, come on. You got to be kidding me. Hi, I’m Amanda. Carmen. I love your earrings. Oh, thank you. Do you have
any other tables? Sorry, we’re
completely booked. There might be some
standing room at the bar. Is this table
going to be okay? I don’t know. Will it be? It’ll be fine. WAITRESS: Do you
know each other? Oh, they have
warring karate dojos. I’ll take a Cadillac
margarita. Big glass. Okay. GIRL: Hey, guys, over here! [MUSIC PLAYING IN DISTANCE] [CAR LOCK BEEPS] Sure you’re up
for this? With your mom
and everything? Definitely, I could
use a distraction. There’s a lot of
people out here
already. Yeah, I guess
Moon must’ve invited
other kids from school. I only brought
Trivial Pursuit.
I’d known there’d be
this many people, I would’ve brought
Balderdash.
♪ The word is mine
nobody can mess my grind
♪ Nobody can mess my shine up
I’m ready to serve
♪ Till I’m number one
I’m gonna put my life
on the line
♪ King of the night♪ You’re the source
of my power
♪ Watch it grow
it’s turning to power… ♪
TORY: I got you. I’ll get you
next time, okay? Oh. Let’s go. MOON: Sam! I’m so glad you came. Kegs are out back,
drinks are in the kitchen, and the vegan pigs
in a blanket just
got out of the oven. Moon, you never
said anything about
inviting Cobra Kai. Well, I figured
with summer ending and
school starting back up, we could stop all fighting
and be friends again. It’s wishful thinking. MOON: Sam, trust me,
get rid of all this
negative energy. Clear your chakras
and have some fun. Cadillac Margarita. Thank you.Don Julio 70
extra chilled. Thank you. WAITRESS: And for this table,
we have themichelada.Gracias.WAITRESS: And
Coors Banquet. Thank you. What, you got something to say? No, nothing, Johnny. Enjoy your Coors. So, did I tell you I had
to double the classes
at Cobra Kai? So many kids
want to join my dojo. Wow, that’s great. I’m so proud
of you, Johnny. I love how passionate
my students are. Sure, there may not
be as many, but
they have heart. Huh. Okay, so this is happening. I’m just saying,
it’s not the quantity,
it’s the quality. No, bigger is better. Well, it was just
little old me at
the All Valley, so… I didn’t need an army,
just the right moves. Okay, are you two done
comparing class sizes? So, you’re Sam’s parents? Yeah. I’m Miguel’s mom.
I’m sorry to hear
they broke up. I know. Yeah. Same. Johnny and I were just talking
about dating in high school. I remember being
that age. Boy crazy. AMANDA: Oh, my God.
Me, too. [CHUCKLES] I feel like I was with
a different boy every week. [LAUGHS] Hey, why don’t we push
the tables together? DANIEL: No, no.
There’s no reason… No, no. It’s not a good idea. We don’t need… That is a great idea. Excuse me. Would you mind
if we combined our tables? WAITRESS: Yeah, of course. [CHUCKLES SOFTLY] [POP MUSIC PLAYING] [ALL CHEERING] [ALL CHANTING] [ALL CHEERING] The life of the party
has arrived. Whoo-hoo! Take a spin, babe. What’s up, Bert? BERT: What’s up, Stingray? Good to see you, buddy. Stingray, I thought
we were going to your
friend’s house party. Oh, yeah, these are
my friends. Their
parents are out of town. ALL: [CHANTING]
Drink, drink, drink! [ALL EXCLAIMING] Winner and still
champion, Tory! Whoo! [ALL CHEERING] [TORY LAUGHS] MIGUEL: Yeah! TORY: Well, look who it is. Maybe you’d like
to play a little game? Or are tea parties
more your speed,
princess? Just give me a cup. All right. New game. Are you sure
you want to do this? What, you don’t think
I can beat her? It’s not that… ALL: [CHANTING]
Drink, drink, drink! AMANDA: So, Carmen,
what do you do? I’m an X-ray technician. AMANDA: Hmm. CARMEN: And I already
know what you two do. I’ve seen the billboards. You kick the competition. [AMANDA AND CARMEN LAUGH] Yeah, you made
a lot of money off
that illegal kick. You’re just jealous
I can get my leg
up that high. Oh, yeah, you want to step
in the parking lot and see
whose leg can go higher? Seriously? Johnny. Have you all decided? CARMEN: Yes. Uh, I’ll have thetostadas
de pulpo asado

with no sour cream. Great. And for you? I will have… JOHNNY: You want
to write that down? About the no sour cream? I got it. What can I get you? AMANDA: I’ll have
thechili relleno,but withcamaron
instead ofcarnitas,and extra cilantro.
And no corn. Absolutely. And you’re sure
you don’t want
to write that down? Nope. All good.
[CHUCKLES] All right.
Then I’ll have the
exact same thing, just to make it
easier. Uh, with corn. You got it. And for you? Uh… I’m just going to go
with thepollotacos. WAITRESS:Pollotacos. Great. Would you like
corn tortillas or flour? [WHISPERS] Stop it. Uh, just hard shell. No green stuff. WAITRESS: I’ll go ahead and
put your order in right now. Ten to one, they get
something wrong. Well, if you’ll excuse me,
I have to use the powder room. [MOUTHS] No,
don’t leave me alone. I will join you. No, you should stay. Honey. [NACHO CRUNCHES] BOY: Legs up! ALL: Three, two, one. [CHANTING] Drink, drink, drink! MIGUEL: Whoo! [ALL CHEERING] Too much for you
to handle? Whoo! Oh, hey, we don’t
cheer for them. We
hate the Miyagi-Dos. Come on. [INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]♪ So big, these haters here
must stop
♪ ‘Cause you talk
a big game
but I learn to trust not
You know the best way
to win a girl back? Make her want
what she can’t have. Watch and learn.♪ Until I grow old
and I’m a wash out
♪ I’m a be
the biggest thing shining…
Hey, I like your hair. Thanks, I like yours,
too. It’s spiky. Everybody wants to touch it. I always say no,
but you can touch
it if you want. [CHUCKLES] They call me Hawk. I’m… Piper. Hey, babe. Hi. [BOTH CHUCKLE] Hawk… Sorry, this is
Piper, um, my… You can say it.
Girlfriend. Sorry, it’s new.
[CHUCKLING] Yeah… Uh, that’s… Awesome. It’s nice to meet you. I’m Hawk. Very cool.♪ I wanna be bigger, yeah ♪[MUSIC PLAYING] [NACHO CRUNCHES LOUDLY] I’m surprised to see you
in a place like this. Why, you think I eat
out of a dumpster
or something? What the hell
is your problem? You, LaRusso. You’ve been a major pain
in my ass all summer. Oh, yeah, like you’ve
been an angel? Hey, I’m just trying
to run a business, man. Hmm. I didn’t realize you
were in the business
of vandalizing dojos. I didn’t know
anything about that. Ah. I’m sure you’re going to play
dumb about that little stunt
at Valley Fest, too, right? No, that was all me. You know, you and
Kreese are like two
psychotic peas in a pod. You tell that lunatic, he ever
shows up in my dojo again, threatens me and my students,
I’m pressing charges. Wait, Kreese did what? Just shows up out of nowhere
spouting off some stuff
about a “war coming.” Well, you don’t
have to worry. Kreese is gone,
he’s not coming back. Let me guess. He died, again? I hope it was
an open casket so you were able
to check his pulse
this time. Why would you even
let this guy back
in your life? ‘Cause I thought
he could change. Turns out I was wrong,
so I pushed him away. [SMACKS LIPS] I want Cobra Kai
to be better. Kreese is gone for good. AMANDA: [CHUCKLING] Hey. Hey. Hey. Did we miss anything? No. Catching up. No, just catching up. We were just saying
how excited we were for
the kids to start up school. Amanda told me Robby’s
going to West Valley. He is? How? DANIEL: We enrolled him. That’s the rule.
You stay with us,
you go to school. Good. He should never
have dropped out. Finally, something we agree on.
Robby’s too smart for that. WAITRESS: All right, here is
your twochile rellenos,yourtostadas de pulpo,and chicken tacos. Thank you. Well, looks good to me. Oh, sorry, I asked
for no sour cream. Oh. Sorry, let me
take that right back. I knew there’d be something
wrong. Why not write it down? Got to write it down. You’ve got to write it down. It’s a rookie mistake. White belt. [BOTH LAUGH]♪ Up, up and away you go♪ Acting like a miracle[MOON LAUGHS]♪ Love is doing
the things you’d say
♪ For you and I to do♪ Heart and soul
Nothin’ but the fool gold
♪ So now you’ve gotta
pay the toll… ♪
You check out the new
Doctor Who
trailer? I don’t watch nerd shit. You know, uh, Moffat isn’t
the showrunner anymore. Wait, really? Since when? Is there a new Doctor? What’s he like? Oh. She’s badass. “She”? No way. [MOON AND PIPER GIGGLING] I’d give up, man.
She’s moved on. Defeat does not exist. [SIGHS] There’s that
winning attitude that pushed her away
in the first place. I think you need a healthy
dose of inner peace. It’s worked for me. Oh, yeah? Yeah. [ALL LAUGH AND EXCLAIM] That’s what I thought. Still a pussy. ALL: [CHANTING]
Drink, drink, drink! [ALL CHEERING] How you doing
over there, LaRusso? I could do this all night. Yeah? Hey, Big Red,
two shots of vodka. Sam? Just give it to me. ALL: [CHANTING]
Drink, drink, drink! ALL: [CONTINUE CHANTING]
Drink, drink, drink! [ALL CHEERING] You got this, Tory! [TORY GASPS] [ALL EXCLAIMING] Guess somebody couldn’t
hold their liquor, huh? Tory, are you okay? I’m going to go clean up. Just leave me alone. [DANIEL AND JOHNNY LAUGHING] JOHNNY: He spilt a
blueberry pie on my shirt. That’s ’cause you put it
on my chair first. No. No. He’s leaving out
the details. Oh, yeah. Should we get another round? Mmm-hmm. I don’t know. Last time
I went four rounds
with LaRusso, I caught a foot
to my face. [ALL LAUGHING] [SALSA MUSIC PLAYING] Oh, I love salsa night. May I have this dance? Oh. You may. No, no, no. I’m not a dancer. I’ll teach you. No, I’m not a dancer. I can be your salsa sensei. [SALSA MUSIC
CONTINUES PLAYING] Tell anyone, you’re dead. [CHUCKLES] Of course, he can dance. Don’t worry about him. Focus on me. Okay? This is the basic
salsa step. Forward, together.
Back, together. Forward, together.
Back, together. Oh, damn it. Hey, eyes up here. When you’re fighting someone,
do you look at your feet? No. No. You always look
in the eyes. Oh, Johnny. You got some moves. Hey, another round. Make it a double. [SOFT MUSIC PLAYING
IN DISTANCE] Hey, what are you doing? Don’t worry, I’m
like totally fine. No, you’re not. You’re
not acting like yourself,
no more drinking. What, I’m not
allowed to party? Just rollerskating for me? You my boyfriend
or my babysitter? Just wait here, I’m gonna
get you some food. [LIQUOR POURING] Maybe you should slow down. You’re just pissed off
because I kicked
your friend’s ass. You can consider that payback
for what you guys did
to our dojo. I had nothing
to do with that. And neither did
Tory or Miguel. Why do you think Miguel
returned Mr. Miyagi’s medal? He didn’t return it.
Demetri found it in the dojo. No, Miguel took it
to your house. He said he gave it to Robby. Sam? I just… I just need some air.♪ We might be ready
if we can just hold steady
♪ ‘Cause it’s been a long
dark night of the soul
♪ And now we got
those demons under control ♪
[ELECTRONIC FEEDBACK] DEMETRI: Excuse me! [MUSIC STOPS PLAYING] [TAPPING PLASTIC CUP] I’d like to make a toast. To Eli Moskowitz. [ALL MURMURING] Oh. I’m sorry,
[CHUCKLING] some of you might
know him as Hawk. But underneath that
crazy clown cosplay and whatever type
of Manic Panic he
dumps in his hair, he’s still good old Eli. My binary brother. Well, he was my binary brother. You know what he is now? A real zero. [ALL LAUGH, EXCLAIM] I love math humor. All right, that’s
enough, Demetri. Don’t let that angry
red hairdo fool you. He’s a big softie. We watched every
Harry Potter
movie together. And he bawled like a baby
when Dobby died. [ALL LAUGHING] [MIMICKING CRYING] All right, if he doesn’t
shut up, I’m going
to shut him up. Remember what Sensei said about showing mercy. [DEMETRI CONTINUES
TALKING INDISTINCTLY] [ALL LAUGHING] [LAUGHING] No. Here you go. You know, I hate
to admit it, but
this was kinda fun. Let’s not make it
a regular thing. I don’t think you need
to worry about that. I’ll always be Miyagi-Do
and you’ll always be
Cobra Kai. But that doesn’t mean
we have to be
at war, right? Kreese is the one who
cares about wars, not me. Good grip. Wish I could say the same. [LAUGHS] [CAR REVVING] Oh, you just couldn’t
help yourself, could you? What? It’s badass. Let’s go, Carmen. Have a good night. JOHNNY: Good night,
LaRussos. Bye. [CAR DOORS CLOSING] [POP MUSIC PLAYING INDOORS] Hey, Sam. Is everything okay? I’m fine. Never mind. Miguel, wait. [SIGHS] I’m sorry. For what? I didn’t know you
returned the medal. It was really important
to my family… And to me. So, thank you. Yeah, well… Shouldn’t have gotten stolen
in the first place, so I’m
just glad you got it back. Me, too.♪ We can wait up
after midnight
♪ We ain’t waitin’
for daylight
♪ We ain’t waitin’
for daylight
♪ Daylight♪ Baby, baby, you know
you look fine to me
♪ Come take your time
with me
♪ Come on and ride
with me… ♪
No. We shouldn’t have… I’m with Tory. And you have… I… I’m sorry. I have to go. In the words of Eli’s
hero, Steve Jobs, “I’ve got one more thing.” Have any of you heard
of sleep enuresis? Don’t. That is the medical term,
of course. In the King’s English,
it’s good old-fashioned
bed-wetting. [ALL LAUGHING] And Eli here [CLICKS TONGUE]
is a pro. My mom even had a special air
mattress for sleepovers. And she called it
“Eli’s waterbed.” [ALL LAUGH] Screw mercy.
You’re a corpse! You’re gonna have
to go through me. Stay out of it, traitor. Hey, don’t touch him. Or what? Guys, stop. We’re friends. Ooh, I smell a rumble. [POLICE SIREN WAILS] GIRL 1: Cops! GIRL 2: Cops! [CLAMORING] Demetri, you got lucky. I’ll see you in school! Oh, I can’t go to jail.
My mom will kill me. Yikes. Oh, shit! There you are. I’ve been
looking for you. We got to go. I’m so sorry, Robby. It’s okay, we just got
to get you home. No, no, no. My parents
are going to freak out
if they see me like this. Oh, my God. Have you seen Tory? No, no, she must have already
left. Come on, we got to go. [GRUNTING] Come on! Okay. [MUFFLED] Come on, come on. Guys, guys! You look happy. Must be the blood
rushing to my head
from the dancing. [CHUCKLES]
You’re a fast learner. I had a good teacher. [CHUCKLES] Well, maybe next time
we can try a little
something more advanced. Yeah, I’d like that. [KEYS JINGLING] Well, good night. Good night. Good night. I already
said that, but… You know. [CHUCKLING] I know. Sleep well, Johnny. You, too. Good night. [SIGHS] Should’ve invited
her in, dumbass. [KNOCK ON DOOR] One sec. You miss me already? Hey, Dad. [SIGHS]

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