So yeah I’m heading out. I’ll be back later. Psycho Dad: Oh no you’re not. What? Psycho Dad: Get back in here. I just said I was going out. I’m going to find some jobs. Psycho Dad: No, you’re not going anywhere, stay here. Psycho Dad: We got something else we’re doing. Dad, I’m going out to the food service area And I’m gonna go apply to apple bees and chilies and stuff…… Psycho Dad: Not today you’re not. You want me to get a Job. You want me to get a Job, I gotta go out and find one, It’s Saturday. Psycho Dad: I’m telling you stay here now. Psycho Dad: We got things to do, get in here W-.. What are we doing? Psycho Dad: We’re going hunting. What the fuck, you just have guns laid out on the dining table like this. Psycho Dad: What’s it to you, I’m setting it up, We’re doing it. Psycho Dad: JT get your ass out here! I mean you gotta give me a bigger heads up than this Psycho Dad: Why? Psycho Dad: If I gave you a heads up, you’d plan something else for me. Psycho Dad: JT! Jeffrey : Yeah, Yeah, Yeah Jeffrey: What does my ass have to be out here for? Psycho Dad: We’re going hunting. Jeffrey: Now? Psycho Dad: Yeah. Yeah, no that’s exactly what I’m saying You can’t just say we’re going ou- Psycho Dad: I need antlers for my deer Okay, and that’s great and all- Psycho Dad: And you said you would do it. Yeah…..Yeah, Barring you- Barring you told me when. Dad, I’m serious I don’t have time for this. I’m not going hunting, I don’t shoot things Psycho Dad: Make time! Psycho Dad: Cause your doing it. Psycho Dad: The other day, didn’t you promise me you were going to go. Yeah….But you didn’t even tell me when. Psycho Dad: I don’t have to tell you whe- Okay, so you bought these just for me. Psycho Dad: Yeah So you’ve been planning this? Psycho Dad: Got that n’ rifles we’re good Like actual guns and shit. There’s only two there There is three of us how is that- Psycho Dad: He can take his crossbow. Psycho Dad: One for me, one for you and he can shoot his arrows. Jeffrey: Sounds good to me. And what, we’re actually going to be killing things. Psycho Dad: Yeah Alright well. I’ll come along , as long as it’s quick. I mean, we’re not gonna be shooting at night time right? Psycho Dad: No! we’re not shooting at night time. Okay! maybe I can- Psycho Dad: Just get that outfit, you too, lets go. Jeffrey: Ok.. Oh you’re actually coming for this…. Jeffrey: I haven’t had a chance to shoot anything with this Psycho Dad: You got boots? No. Jeffrey: You got little boots? No I don’t have- Psycho Dad: I’ve got an old set you’ll wear them. Psycho Dad: You got boots right? Jeffrey: I got boots. Psycho Dad: Alright let’s go, hurry up. Alright Psycho Dad: Times are wasted. Alright Have you got something for Corn too? Psycho Dad: Why the hell would I have something for Corn. Because I…we were going to shoot a video today I was just gonna have a- We were gonna go do a uh applications. Because I did that yesterday. Psycho Dad: So he’s got to go. How about… No…..Yeah Yeah Psycho Dad: Corn. Don’t you have something to do? But he’s got to film, he’s got to film it though Psycho Dad: Why the hell is he needed? Wouldn’t it be cool? Don’t you want to see the big kill. Don’t you want to see the big deer kill, caught on video. And then you can see it die over and over again. Psycho Dad: I don’t do that no. You can see what you did wrong. Oh you should have shot it at this place, this part of the body. Psycho Dad: Cut it out, get in your outfit let’s go. Alright I’m com-..Im not holding a gun I’m not shooting anything. I’ll play your game dude… We can’t do tomorrow…. Job applications, cause it’s fucking Easter I’m gonna need a shirt too. Are you legitimately filming right now *laughs* Psycho Dad: Corn get that fucking camera out of my face. Psycho Dad: We need a six or eight pointer in this. What are you talking about…… Psycho Dad: I was telling him I need a six or eight pointer for this…..this head Wait you shave off it’s head and put it on the deer Psycho Dad: You cut the skull. Psycho Dad: And the antlers Oh fuck Psycho Dad: Are you kidding, right over your crotch? I didn’t know it was a brand new shirt and clothes, I don’t know. Psycho Dad: Alright we got to get moving it’s gonna be a long ride. Yeah….We just dicking around in the woods? Psycho Dad: Yeah we’re dicking around in the woods, we’re looking for deer. Wait… Out in the fucking yard… Psycho Dad: Not out here! Psycho Dad: Two hour ride, Minimum What!? Psycho Dad: Yeah You can’t just say we’re doing…. I….I wanted to get home in time So I can still apply to places tonight. Psycho Dad: You’re not gonna be a long time. Tomorrow I won’t be able to because it’s Easter Psycho Dad: You’re not gonna be home in time, This is us let’s go Where are we going……Where are we going. Psycho Dad: Out of state. You cool with that? Jeffrey: I ain’t got nothing going on. Psycho Dad: Let’s go Psycho Dad: This ain’t no bitch session So we’re going to kill a deer…. Psycho Dad: Yeah. That’s all it’s about….. Psycho Dad: Yep Jeffrey: I’m gonna fuck that shit up. Are you going to kill it? Jeffrey: I’m gonna kill it… Psycho Dad: No you’re not touching it! Psycho Dad: It’s my shot. Psycho Dad: You see something. Tell me. Psycho Dad: It’s mine….. So what…..Where just….. We’re gonna….. Be like “Dad, the deer is here” Won’t that scare it away? Won’t the deer hear that? Psycho Dad: You’ve got to be subtle about it Psycho Dad: Y’know you don’t Jump around in the woods and yell and scream. O- Psycho Dad: Alright? Yeah…. Psycho Dad: It’s mine. Yeah the deer is yours. Psycho Dad: Alright lets go. Yeah.. We’ve got a fucking long drive apparently. Psycho Dad: Yep. I gotta get something out of the car. Psycho Dad: What have you gotta get out of your car? I’m getting……. Like I know in Farcry 4, Like when you’re playing the animals, like if you ever go close to an animal Or you piss em’ off. They will come at you. Fucking fierce so if something comes at me I need- Psycho Dad: Get my easy pass out of your car too. What? Psycho Dad: Get my easy pass out of your car That’s fucking irrelevant. Psycho Dad: Come on! Hurry up!. If it charges me….If anything charges me if a big buck charges me I’m going at it’s face Psycho Dad: Knock it off. Get in the other side. I guess I could just shoot it with the gun….Right? Psycho Dad: Yep, that’s why you got one. Well I mean…If it gets too close to me, what if it knocks the rifle out of my hands? Jeffrey: Yeah, but we’ll fuck it. In the the revenant the bear does that. What did you say? the deer is gonna fuck me? Psycho Dad: Cut it out! Ah shit…I should’ve grabbed my DS. Psycho Dad: You’re not bringing any games…. We’ve still got a two hour drive, we’re not hunting from the truck. Psycho Dad: Well talk or do something. Jeffrey watch any good porn lately? Jeffrey Usually so talkative Psycho Dad: Did you get my Easy pass? No. Oh…Oh! for right now. Psycho Dad: Yeah! Where are we going? Psycho Dad: Don’t worry about it. Corn put your seat belt on. I spy something red and white… You know what it is? What? Jeffrey: Did you read it yet…. You actually have service right now? Psycho Dad: Put your phones down. If I had service I would…….What are you tweeting? Psycho Dad: You know this is what it’s all about don’t ya? Jeffrey: I’m tweeting at you that you’re a bitch. Psycho Dad: You listening? Psycho Dad: I said this is what it’s all about. Do not do that Jeffrey Jeffrey: You’re a bitch. Could you not? Jeffrey: Sorry I just posted it. What the fuck! Psycho Dad: Yo I’m talking Psycho Dad: I said, this is what it’s all about. What? Psycho Dad: Us all together. Psycho Dad: Going out and hunting. Psycho Dad: Getting out in the woods. Yeah if fucking mom knew we were hunting, she would freak out. Psycho Dad: Your mom is not around anymore. Jeffrey: Jesse. Jeffrey: Jesse I got 42 likes on “you being a bitch” You put that up like 10 seconds ago. Jeffrey: 12 re tweets that “you’re a bitch”. Psycho Dad: Don’t bring up your mom anymore. She chose to leave I’m just saying We never hunted before. Jeffrey: Jesse I got 79 likes that you’re a bitch. I’m surprised it’s not 69 you fucking dumbass Jeffrey: No we passed that but at one point we did have 69 Psycho Dad: Quit arguing Whe- Look when it’s a long drive- Psycho Dad: I’ll show you how to gut the thing Gut it! Psycho Dad: Skin it… I’m not doing anything like that, I brought the knife just for self defense. I’m not shooting a gun, I’m not doing tha- Jeffrey: Deer Jerky Psycho Dad: You’ll find out how to Wait, did you just say deer Jerky? Psycho Dad: Take care of this stuff I’ll eat the food, I’ll eat a deer. Psycho Dad: You don’t get deer jerky when you- Hmph God Jeffrey: Jesse.Jesse 101 likes How many? Jeffrey: 101 That’s actually pretty good. Jeffrey: Say you’re a bitch. You….You tagged me? Jeffrey: Yeah Alright I’m gonna get more followers Corn you find the red and white thing? I’ts a brick house….. A……..BRICK…………….HOUSE Jeffrey: This guy says he 100% agrees Shut up…… Jesus Christ, You’ve been talking the whole trip I told you to put a seat belt on. Corn move your hand, What’s over there? Jeffrey: They’re little ponies Nah…….AHHHHHH! I fucking love the little mini pony things Uh god… Holy Shit…… Can. Can we kill it? Psycho Dad: No we’re not doing groundhogs. *Jesse Sighs* Psycho Dad: That’s a small one too. Do you eat groundhogs? Psycho Dad: I don’t know if you eat them. So this is where we’re hunting? Psycho Dad: Yep What’s over there. A deer stand? Psycho Dad: Yep So you like, sit up in there and shoot things? Jeffrey: Dad, I think you messed up here is the thorn bush over here. Jeffrey: Jesse is on the left side of the car. Psycho Dad: There is no on my side. Let’s go. Well look at you though, were you just tweeting “You’re a bitch” You’re a bitch! You’re a bitch !! You’re a bitch You’re a bitch. *Jesse Impersonates Jeffrey* Jeffrey: Okay how many times have I walked through priors Jeffrey: When you haven’t even left the fucking house. Dude… Pot calling kettle black bro …. Psycho Dad: Would you guys leave eachother alone… What do you expect bringing us together Jeffrey: This is like Jesse’s first time in the woods so he’s kinda like freaking out I’ve been in the woo- Jeffrey: No! you had that tent out there. Fuck you dude. Jeffrey: You fucking pussy *Jeffrey Laughs* Pussy? You talking about that when I got this man…. And you have a crossbow, You have a crossbow bro. Just cause Daryl used that shit doesn’t mean you’re badass. Alright lead the way! Dad showed me how to do this you pump it……. Fucking pellet gun Psycho Dad: What are you doing?! Holy fuck!! Psycho Dad: What ails you? Jeffrey: Why the fuck, would you point a gun at somebody?! Psycho Dad: No! I got this. Psycho Dad: What ails you? Why would you do that! Psycho Dad: How many times I told you abou- I though- I-I- I -I -I thought it was a pellet gun! Psycho Dad:It ain’t no pellet gun! Psycho Dad: I can’t believe you! Psycho Dad: I told you this is no game! Psycho Dad: And what did you do? You could have shot any of us! Psycho Dad: Yeah stare of into space, think about what you did. Psycho Dad: You could of shot a hole in one of these guys. Psycho Dad: Huh Psycho Dad: Snap the hell outta it! You sh- Wh- You showed me how to use this thing I thought it was a pellet gun Psycho Dad: Why wouldn’t you think it’s a pellet gun. Cause I told you I wasn’t shooting anything! I don’t want to shoot anything, I don’t want to kill anything. I just want to come out here and make you hap- Psycho Dad: You treat everything with respect! Every gun you pick up with respect. Jeffrey: Can you keep your fucking voice down, Every fucking deer in the fucking…… Psycho Dad: Yeah…. Alright alright…. Psycho Dad: Let’s Go! I don’t want to get it from both sides…. Psycho Dad: You just damn lucky nothing happened! What do I- What do I do with this then How about I just don’t hold it Psycho Dad: No! Get over here I’ll show you. Here I’m not even gonna touch it. Psycho Dad: Pick the damn thing up! Ok…. How do I use it Psycho Dad: I’ll Show you…. Jeffrey: Dumb fucking shit Shut the fuck up dude. Jeffrey: Oh yeah because otherwise- Shut the fu- I’m already getting from Dad. I fucked up, I’m sorry I fucked up I didn’t know.. Psycho Dad: Bullets go in the side…… Psycho Dad: See there, Right here, The bullets go in the side. He’s Trying to explain something to me just sh- Psycho Dad: 8 to 10 of them put in here. Psycho Dad: That’s how you do it. Psycho Dad: Then cock the gun like this…… You just shove them in? Psycho Dad: Yeah, Shove them in. Psycho Dad: Alright? Actual- I’m not- okay I’m I don’t know if I- Psycho Dad: Do you want me to load them? Don’t worry about it. Show me what else I got to do. Psycho Dad: Safety…..safety is here. Psycho Dad: When this thing is back, It’s ready to fire. Psycho Dad: Remember never have your finger on the trigger unless you’re gonna shoot something. Okay which I won’t….. Psycho Dad: Look at me… Psycho Dad: You almost cost somebody their life today. Psycho Dad: You understand that? It’s not a game. Psycho Dad: Alright? Psycho Dad: Look at me! Psycho Dad: Do you understand? Yeah…… Psycho Dad: Alright, Let’s go. I didn’t almost……………Cost someone their life……. I just- It was an accident. Psycho Dad: Yeah it was an accident. Psycho Dad: But again, It almost cost somebody their life. Alright…. Psycho Dad: Let’s go Alright. Psycho Dad: Gun down Yes….. Jeffrey: Dumb Motherfucker……. Psycho Dad: Deer tracks….. Psycho Dad: All across there. Look at them all…… Is this a popular spot? Psycho Dad: Yep. Psycho Dad: Deer…. Is that……Is that the kind you’re looking for. Psycho Dad: Can’t tell by tha- Jeffrey: The deer kind…… I’m just- Psycho Dad: I wanna see bigger hooves. Jesus Christ, Okay everyone just lighten up. Corn, you see anything out there? Psycho Dad: Would you whisper! How the fuck are we gonna talk…….. Psycho Dad: You’re supposed to sneak up on them You’re not supposed to let them know ahead of time. Okay. Aren’t we supposed to go in groups though? Shouldn’t we split up? Psycho Dad: No we’re supposed to spread out. Psycho Dad: They’re gonna be bedding down right now…… That’s what I just sai- We’re supposed to spread out. Psycho Dad: It’s getting late……. Psycho Dad: The’re gonna be bedding down, So you’re gonna spook them. Psycho Dad: And the’re gonna come up, so spread out make a- Well I don’t see you finding any deer, where are they? Psycho Dad: Will you-…….Come on. Psycho Dad: Shut your mouth. I mean Corn is wearing a fucking bright blue shirt on I don’t- See it coming my way. Where are the deer at? Where are the deer at. Psycho Dad: They’re bedding down right now. Was it that- What does that mean? Psycho Dad: They’re by the water or under the holly, things like that. Psycho Dad: Laying down for the evening. So…. What does that mean for us…… Jeffrey: We gotta find it….. Don’t whisper in my ear like that, you freak. Jeffrey: Well maybe you should be whispering, you dumb fuck. We’re over here walking- Psycho Dad:Will you shut up! *Jesse and Jeffrey Continue to mumble* Jeffrey: That’s why I’m putting it down. We’ll see we’ll see about that. *Jeffrey Continues to mumble* Shhh! Psycho Dad: You see all this brush and stuff around here. Yeah- Why- Is this what- What is- Psycho Dad: See all this brush area out here. Psycho Dad: We’re heading down to the lake they’re probably gonna be laying in the area. There is no way we’re gonna find any deer making this much noise. And you’re talking about noise I don’t get that, why are we wearing boots if they just clump down and step on all these leaves and twigs and shit. I better go, before I get yelled at. I don’t under- How come Jeffrey doesn’t have a gun? Jeffrey: I don’t need one. You don’t need one? Yes you will. What? Hold on he’s doing something, what are you doing? Jeffrey: I’m gonna fucking reload it. I think he’s try- What is he- Hold on. Psycho Dad: Shut up. I’m just gonna let him go off on his own He’s gonna be all fucking Leo Dicaprio right now out fucki- He’s taking dowm the bear, he’s tak- *Mumbles* What the- What are you doing? *Annoying airplane blocks out Jeffrey’s voice* Wow hunting stumps Jeffrey Jeffrey: Well I think you need to see the power of this thing… He don’t even know how to work it Jeffrey: This is my first time using it, cause I don’t have the time- I like it when he’s out of his element, it makes me smile. He’s not being a wise ass right now. Funny. What the fuck are you doing dude, you’re gonna break it. He’s already gone. This dude…….this dude is knee high deep in swamp right now. This is fucking stupid Jeffrey: Why is it stupid? I’m about to take his truck and just go home. Are you coming with me? Corn will come with me, Try and get some taco bell. Corn: he he Of course All this hunting is making me hungry. Get a deer taco…. You gonna tell me- This dude sees a deer he’s gonna be out here 5 minutes try- *Laughing* By that time, the deer is long gone. He’s fucking hiding behind a tree like- *Corn Laughs* After two hours later he’s ready to kill the animal That fucking long went and bedded itself. Jeffrey: This is- *Exhales* Jeffrey: This is my first time loading it. Jeffrey: But trust me….. Jeffrey: Let’s go for a walk, I’m gonna shoot this fucking stump. And then we’ll see……Okay. Cool Jeffrey: You’re gonna shit your pants when this thing launches out. I won’t Jeffrey: You will shit your fucking pants. I….Not again. Does it even have an aimer on it? Jeffrey: I got a sight. He’s got a scope on it, that’s not really fair. Jeffrey: Safety off…….. Safety off? If you make tha- If you hit that stump and it sta- *Crossbow Fires* Holy shit…….. Okay, I stand corrected Are you gonna leave your thing? Jeffrey: Eventually He thinks he’s bad ass now leaving them shits laying around… Leaving his trace…… We’re gonna go. We’re gonna go the other way. Alright? Psycho Dad: Alright. Corn: I don’t think you should hold the gun like that. What? Oh fkkk—- Corn: And Don’t *laughs* Corn: You pointed it right at me again. Okay, Yeah I already got it from those two guys. Corn: Well yeah, But you’re seriously gonna kill one of us. Corn: It’s not a fake gun…….¬ Yeah, Okay well fuck you dude. Whatever…… I thought you were on my side. Corn: Well I mean I am, But I don’t want to get shot either so. Uh yeah. This is harder there is no eas- good way to place it y’know I always see people hold it like that…… I was telling you it was a pellet gun Ah fuck…… What is this? Look there is shit growing Ah god look I’m not even fucking pointing with it. Corn: Why are you walking through that? Do you thin- Well I think maybe they shit here…….. *Corn Laughs* Or maybe they eat here. One of the two I doubt they do it in the same place. It’s where the deer go to shit. They must be close…… *Whispers* There is one righ- Oh shit…. Fuck…. I’m sorry….. *Gunshot* Oh fuck! fuck it’s not down. Fuck you! Fuck Fuck Fuck Fu- What the fuck!? Wha- What the fuck!? It’s a fucking fake deer. Psycho Dad: What happened? It’s a fake deer It’s no- I thought it was a real deer *Jeffrey starts laughing* It’s not fucking funny! It looked just like a real deer Jeffrey: You thought that was a real deer? It was standing in the brush, I thought it was eating or some shit. Jeffrey: Have you seen a deer before? Yes! Jeffrey: Does it look like that? I don’t know I saw it I saw it from afar And I didn’t have my glasses on Cause you fucking broke them and I shot it….. Psycho Dad: Didn’t I tell you this was a popular spot? What does that mean…….Yeah- Psycho Dad: So there is all kinds of decoys out here Psycho Dad: There are deer stands everywhere What the fuck that’s confusing as shit Why would they make it so real and then it’s fucking not? Jeffrey: Cause it’s a popul- It has a target on it. Piece of shit! I didn’t see that okay Psycho Dad: Hey! You took the shot didn’t you? Huh? Psycho Dad: You took the shot didn’t you? Yeah. Psycho Dad: I’m proud of you. Jeffrey:So you ran up and stabbed it? It was still standing you asshole. You would of shot- Well actually no Cause your fucking crossbow is a piece of shit. Jeffrey: Clearly…… *Jeffrey Laughs* Laugh it up yeah…….have a good laugh Jeffrey: You came out here, you shot and stabbed a fucking…………..target. Jeffrey: Thinking it was the real thing. Yeah. Jeffrey: You can’t make that shit up *laughs* Jeffrey: But hey, dad is proud of you though. Yeah. That’s good I guess. Jeffrey: Yeah that is a good thing. Huh? Jeffrey: I just said it was a good thing. Hold on a sec…..Why is it a good thing? Jeffrey: I’m gonna be moving out in a couple of months. Hold on what!