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Psycho Dad Buries Video Games

September 23, 2019


(Childish Laughter) One more thing. (Throws Rack) Perfect. And they are all in there. Oh, he is thrilled to be here, as usual. Guess who found the Psycho Dad shirts? And we have it in black too! Wait, hold on. Got to do it for the camera. There is the camera. Yeah, there we go. Blech. He is going to be missing out on Black Ops 2. We got- What else we got in here? Cannot really tell… Fucking Saints Row. Got Halo. Banjo-Kazooie. Fucking Yooka-Laylee is coming out. Nobody gives a shit! Aw, man. He is going to be so pissed off. Ah, not as pissed as this guy is right now. (Gnomish Laughter) Oh, man. Serves him fucking right, little fucking asshole. (Exasperated Giggles) Oh, I cannot wait to see Jesse try and dig this shit up with a fucking spade shovel. This is going to be fucking hilarious. Dad? Oh shit! Dad, what the Hell are you doing? What are you doing outside? You never come outside! It is always a problem when you are filming. The fuck is going on here? What the Hell?! Dad! Dad, what are you doing? What did you do with my stash, man? Leave my fucking stash. Shut the fuck up, dude. Dr. Nelson, this is not- She would not approve of this! Dr.Nelson is not here! I know! I know! But you cannot do this! (More Laughter) Dad! It is happening! You will learn! What do you mean, “I will learn”? This does not teach me anything! What do you mean, “Not teach you anything”? You were the one that hooked up with the T-shirts, are you not? Yes, because I am trying to make money! That is what this is all about! Yeah, disrespect me by hooking up with your Mom and creating shirts. Disrespect me? You are the one burying all my games! Yeah, I am burying your games because you have to let go! God, you would think it was like a fucking stash of drugs. I am not going to let you do this! Dad. Come on! Come on! You destroy my games- Oh, shit! You are ruining my life! I am not ruining your life, the games are ruining your life. I am trying to make my- Fuck! What the Heck ails you? What are you do- (Impish Laughter) Let them go! (Gollum Impression) LET THEM GO! I am not letting go shit! Stop fucking filming! Selling the Psycho Dad shirts is driving you crazy! Hey! Holy shit. What are you going to bury me too? Get out of the hole. Holy shit, I got to get off- Dad! Who is the Psycho now?! Dad! YOU ARE! It is why I made a fucking shirt! Fuck, shit! Dad! DAD! Get out of the hole! What the fuck? Is he moving? HOLY SHIT! Dumbass. Holy shit! Dude! Dude, are you alright? Is he moving yet? Dude. Holy fuck. (The Resurrection) (Coughs) What the fuck?! Hah! Holy shit! (Wheezes) Fuck you, dude! Fuck, it is all over my- Ah, you are alright! Little hobbits come out of the ground. How the fuck do I get out of here? Fuck! Fucking turn it off! Now! You are not putting this on! Fucking Dad, come on! The Precious! I told you to get out of the hole! Must save the Precious! Little Hobbits come out of the ground! (Laughter) (Cracking Up) What’s the matter, a little dirty? Holy shit. Feel better now? Fuck you! Trying to get water damage on my other camera? Dad! Fuck. Fuck. Dad! (Hits Ground) OW! (Jeffrey Dies) (Moaning Myrtle) Stay away from the hole, have you not learned your lesson? Dad! Dad! I learned my lesson! I learned my- Stand by the hole and I will bury you again. DAD! (Mechanical Sounds) Get that fucking- (Laughter) Dad! I get it! I fucking get it! (Throws Game) What is that going to do? Get more shirt sales! (Obnoxious Laughter) Dude, you cannot even see them. They are gone now! Why do you not get the fucking spade and try and dig that shit up, dude? Shut the fuck up! (Eats Shirt) Dad! Dad! (More Mech Sounds) There! Hey, you saved Halo 4 at least! (Punts Ball) Enjoy your games! What? I fucking hate you! (Launches Ball) Yeah, that will show him! Shut the fuck up, dude! That will show him. (“Salt in Wound”-Laughter) Oh, God. Here we go. Oh, shit. The little island native again! Fucking island native! I do not always come outside, but when I do… Help me, seriously. Just drop the camera and help me dig them out. I am not going to help you dig them out, dude. You got a problem. You could use a shovel. Do you know how much fucking money that cost? I fucking- I hope I hit you in the fucking dick. Almost. It was down the other leg. This was like over a grand at least. I collected these for years. Xbox 360 had like a ten-year lifespan and now it is fucking buried! Not all of it! Could you get a shovel or something? (Giggles) What? You saved Black Ops? I got Halo. You got Halo, Dead Rising 2 and Left 4 Dead. I think you are good. You will be okay. (Laughs) I just…I just. Dude, I was just trying to make money off merchandise. Well, Dad did not like that very much. Dad was not supposed to know about it. Yeah. Well- (Incoherent)(Laughs) Dude, I just cannot wait until something shitty happens to you. Aw, that is fucked up. Oh, and I just got fucking buried and that is not?! Well, you should not have gone in the hole when there was a backhoe in front of you. I am not just going to let him bury my games. Well- I do not care what fucking Dr.Nelson says. (Giggles) I am going in the pool. Okay. You might have a game in there too. Who knows. You wait, dude. You wait. I am not the only one who likes games, asshole. And here I go! And there go my balls!

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