Articles

Papers, Please!

September 8, 2019


Hello and welcome friends to Papers, Please It’s gaming week, epic fun time! Smash like for gaming week! Today we’re playing Papers, Please Jack told me this game gets views. I like those So we will play Papers, please I, of course, have played this game before So I know how to play game. It’s game about being border guard How does this look? ♪ Ey congratulations to your corporation ♪ ♪ I won a labor lottery and now I menstruation ♪ My name was pulled, excellent! (Reading) For immediate placement report to the Minis- Ok, the Grestin border check- THE GRESTIN BORDER CHECKPOINT Whaaaat That’s the most dangerous checkpoint in all of Arstotzka I will get apartment For family Ah, wow すごい Glory to Arstotzka Glory to… the mother… poopie. What am I saying? I don’t know November 23rd, now the rule is simple, of this game (Reading) Inspector welcome to new position of Grestin border control. Okay. Stamp passport entry visa, uh-huh Ok, deny all foreigner I Spit on the foreigner, glory to Arstotzka! Next Papers Finally I can return Islakova Antonia hmm What a beautiful picture ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Approve- ah, wait, Arstotzka – Approved! Enjoooy, have good time. Arstotzka welcomes. Neeext Dasvidaniya, ok, Szaszko Eyan. Let’s see… Tsunkeido?! GET OUT OF MY FAAACE Arstotzkans only, don’t waste my time I have family to feed. Come on, how long am I going to do this accent? that is so bad? I waited in this damn line for 8 hours. I hope it was worth it. Well, too bad you ugly snake You can’t come, Arstotzkans only Get out of my face. Unbelievable, you spit- I spit Disgusting What about you? Nice receding hairline. Okay. Oh, what a picture Denied! Bye- bye! Bye- bye! Have your documents ready Next Oh, papers? It was a mistake You waited 8 hours to tell me that?
Pathetic. Papers, please. All right. It’s an Arstotzkan passport. Okay. Alright Mr. Orry Viet one. I mean who knows whatever you’re a prude get out of my face. Enjoy it Check out the punter glorious Okay, we have whamon alright Okay, though You waste my time woman You not only waste my time you waste other people time next Be appears at its thoughts can approve enjoy enjoy your time So the thing with this game is that it gets more and more difficult as you go There’s new requirements that will change and you’re incentivized to get as many people pass as possible But at the same time if you make a mistake You’ll pay the penalty It’s a really interesting game. It’s a really surprisingly fun game if anyone came and pitched to me like hey Hey, there’s this game where you play as a border guard? I would be like that sounds lame but it’s actually a really fun now. Obviously the first stage is really easy At least that’s how I remember it. We really just deny all the foreigners Well, you look amazing And who I almost am yes, oopsie whole much made oopsie At least don’t get on me How many we have 11 papers arrest Otsuka? Oh You can go you can go hurry glory to arstotzka We got 12 Odinnadcat’ Odin, dva, dvenadcat’ Today we don’t need we sleep so you manage your budget? Based on I don’t know. I don’t remember November 24th is a new day new opportunities Ok, all right, ok, ok Checkpoint all passports information carefully for descriptions is deny any entrant with inconsistent information? You see now we have to use my mind user in spectrum or using the red button and your – Ok, so we have to highlight what the problems are Ok, ok glory to arstotzka Inspector Politics neeext NYX. Come on Open for business papers Krista So now we have to lock is it expired? No yet female the glory to arstotzka Cause no trouble yet You’ll see here if you make a mistake ok where she was fine, let’s see Aunt agrea What are you doing? You spit in my face. This is expired. It has expired interrogation. I cannot enter I Just renew it Too bad, you will never know this country next Get the real passport give me the goddamn Priapus. Okay, 1980. Mm-hmm Mel eggrgfb grbrbrbrbb idk whst i write hahaha You don’t look like man With this this question. Sorry, ma’am. No discrimination. I Just what is this question? What do you mean? I don’t know Okay, it’s not expired or there okay approved enjoy Paris not sky welcomes everyone As long as you meet the requirements Papers give it to me our maid Nicole. Okiya female akhiya Okay, I care She looks a very strange on the picture Next I think I’m Way too slow here. I notice Peter. No. No what I do invalid issuing country Safety, hello handsome. You look bored if you want a good time Yeah for gamers Okay, thank you so para disma What would what did oh god. I don’t I can’t believe I messed up Unbelievable. It’s part of the game, I guess You’re approved you can go I’ll be around a couple months. Don’t forget to visit Listen I can barely afford food, please. Oh nice scarf sir, is is there map? What happened oh god someone’s trying to run LLL shoot Alright so here we go. This is the problem I did. Oh my god Alright, so the problem is Kreskin is easy Okay, we did it that was a good day I think that was very good in taste productive Okay, good, yeah we need medicine her son, I don’t think We have to save money I don’t have time for medicine for children, okay? Verify information. Yeah. Yeah missing documents Mm-hmm Rule book Okay, okay, let’s check the rulebook really great because so we had C these are the only districts allowed in this area So if we’re real trihard, we’ll check all the issuing countries. I think we have to do that Okay open Reappears, I guess at the end I will so this is a bristan lawrence mail Okay, you can go What tell us this all they need an entry ticket as well I Didn’t even read that Next oh they need about all foreigners need a ninja’s again Okay, well clearly What do you mean no correlation How do I ask her about the ant How do I ask about the entry ticket Okay, she has an entry ticket it’s valid from 1980 to 11. Okay, that’s today god dammit stop giving me stuff Okay, I’m too slow. I’m too slow. I know okay. God I female I don’t expiry You can go Come to pink I don’t ask for other please next I’m too slow next please my son Will die. Okay. Well it starts cat doesn’t need 1983 Parodies nah Dah Welcome Come on come on don’t waste my time Looking, uh, huh terrorist attack, you lucky have jobs. It was not my fault Take Restarts Cape welcome everyone. We have good time here. Very nice. Oh, very nice República One moment, right This is wrong entry valid on deny deny It add my prayer she tried to waste my time Mer Galerius male, okay all looks good. It all looks good entry welcome Next Come on we need ten at least Glory to arstotzka the greatest country in the world. All the countries are give me the king ding Hello To proceed use inspector mode to interrogate Review page 2 of today’s bulletin There we go, oh I see Eddy Scott’s got so great passport not required, right? Okay. Okay I come back again Yeah, oh my god I wasted so much time Well she from collegia whether that’s correct Female, you have to check yet. Very good glory to arstotzka The greatest country in the world Give me the goddamn papers. Alright first, let’s check this. It’s valid gray Yarko City. I remember your Co City I’m very nice during winter Can hardly feel my toes? Your your Co City what what ha ha your acoustic day What is your Co City your passport fault information? I will shoot you. I do not understand you don’t understand Well understand this I do I Spit on you and your mother Bye-bye. No one will get past The greatest border guard of all time through p2p, my son is sick. Oh My study see yet, we don’t have time to be sick My son useless does my son parent yet my son Wait, I didn’t read they must show an ID card foreigners must secure an entry parent ok Entry tickets are no longer service. They need an entry permit Duration of stay ok. Ok Ok, so enter must have a passport they must have current must have an ID card Citizens must have antique are foreigners requiring entry permits. So this is the entry permit so we gotta cross examine these two and Enter by well, what the fuck is this? Oh it matches all right, well I am stupid then oh That’s okay wait You entered too early is that not a descriptions discrepancy Why I Got a bad feeling about this you’re not denied your denied I Don’t like his face Protocol violated, so even if you deny you can do it wrong. Alright, I guess they can enter by any fidon’t Three months Scar there’s so much to check now Olga Zara now, okay Okay, visit three months I Don’t understand, um Female, okay. The only thing I haven’t checked this the city but I think it’s correct. I remember Sookie neck. Oh No trouble Can’t believe I got a warning this is the is awful Give me the goddamn papers. No Yeah, shut up Okay, and Three tickets What is the permit Oh my god nyet Go back to your car. I Don’t care you paid use money for taking I don’t care. I really don’t care. Oh My god, you’re ugly. Oh Okay, Diane all Diane oh You think you can get me in there get these name don’t match don’t waste my you have two different Oh, let’s watch fingerprint. Give me this Her name is a key Diane, Amna. Okay It says you don’t have two names Why the names don’t match my name changed recently Is there a way to check that don’t waste time go Hey, hey, oh I forgot Hopefully I didn’t do wrong I don’t know I’m trying it’s very hard very stressful yeah That’s the purpose of the trip I’m so happy that border opened I visit son I have not seen him six months, okay Luke obscure Alexandre Luke obscure. Okay, enter, okay Duration well Yeah, now I got it I’m an idiot you it expired please let me pass my son waiting oh My son waiting bye-bye. I’ll tell your son. His mother is a cow Okay, come on paper, please Alan Novick Citizens Marika ID card, where oh there is this never mind Okay, uh my god What is this why the name difference? Why name different? I have two different name. Well, we’ll be the double of check of that Okay Roar Nora Yeah, yeah Interrogate please let me through Come back when you’re not a bitch Yes This is fun Come on come on papers what’s purpose work? Okay to reaction twelve weeks Okay Hi hun don’t recognize. Hi, hon. What is high-end, huh? Okay, hi I’m fine nineteen aha, okay Okay work okay, hmm Enjoy your time in glorious country Cosmo travel Knee axe ah what I didn’t belly name. No. No, it hurts. God, dammit Pre-approved, okay. Okay. Let’s play a lot Where’s entry permit is he gonna give us an entry permit? And it starts get still best country for sure I Like this guy one day you’ll make it Okay. Okay. You not like Passport. I understand I come back again with better water And it starts k welcome papers, okay la Tosca again, okay la TomSka Female 19. Oh, yeah. Okay. There’s even the hi to look at and then wait there’s so much to look at They just require an ID card, right, I think that’s fine Laurie it starts again. Oh My god what oh God, I suck at this game. My son is gonna die now. My son is sick in head My dirty dick shut up. I Make mistake at work son. Don’t get medicine. So what okay, I will try not to suck so bad this time. Okay Glory to arstotzka What what’s the news you are now authorized to detain interrogate? Description, please enable the tension the tension. I think it’s this one, right? Which one is the tension shouter counter Okay next Foreigners work ing permit citizen ID card one year. Okay. That’s correct. Wait, what did she say work? Okay, that’s correct Passport what a lovely picture. Oh, yeah. Ah Okay interrogation what is your problem What why you waste my time What do you mean check it again? Hahahahaha Oh the gulag We send her to Siberia And you will pay the crime of wasting my time at its thought sky glory to arstotzka 176 okay, so I am taller than crane. Yeah Birthday okay grounded seaman appear 1983 Okay, okay looks good, right Alton district Alton Alton I okay I Think I think you can enter yes, enjoy Please don’t mess up. God this give a stressful day. I Think our what’s the purpose? Transit okay, how long? Couple weeks. I guess Is that a description I’m being very picking it matching, okay? Okay, let’s check the name list rod Vince, okay, let’s check the Number okay. Okay. Okay. 1982. Okay Oh Enter by now, I get I’m so stupid and Less Brandi This is a Republican, right? Yeah, let’s less than Maddie. Okay. Okay. Okay everything good have a great time and smiles great time and smiles God I hope I don’t mess up Okay, nice hair glory to arstotzka Papers Samar and rock Samar and rock, okay What is your problem you Have two differently. Why does everyone have two different names? All right do this In the meantime, I’ll look at everything else. No known I’ll Know no Nile What is your problem What are you doing? Oh sorry, it’s technical problem shoot him Okay Papers please. Don’t waste time what’s purpose of trade? It’s not my choice. I’m just duration of stay a Little as possible you piece of shit Fine, I have to do my job Where is this from United Federation? pathetic Krista, okay What’s your name Nicholas Palermo, okay 1945 doesn’t say expire okiya Okiya Okay, what one second? one second What’s the seal? Hmm? What is this seal? Oh Never mind fine You may enter God they like pink in these countries Sunday. What’s the purpose transit? Okay duration two weeks dialog ski-doo stone Enter bye, okay Okay West Gradstein Again I Think it’s so nerve-wracking. I Really want to do a good job for my son. That will die Papers come on papers. What’s the purpose visit? Okay, how long? Okay, 1934 Okay, okay Yeah Makayla lindahl that’s gotta be reference is another developer Swedish and this is a Swedish name Okay, let’s check anti-gay, yeah Okay, yeah, I Think this is all fine Yeah, of course. Welcome to beautiful country. All right, I think They did a thing with a Kickstarter right that you could be a character in the game actually I don’t know if that’s true. You look beautiful. Good day good day to you. Mr roasted pewter Finally become free Again, I don’t care what stock pewter Okay What was his reason Emigrate. Okay forever good for you forever. Wow enter. Bye Okay, is there a problem Yet no problem sent Marie memo What about if I can trying to find something to bust these guys on he’s fine. You’re fine. Enjoy Please be kind to my wife. She’s Okay, hello Pierre purse did you see my Where there where he is Where is your entry permit Where is it? Don’t waste my time get him I Have to detain her I Don’t care you need entry permit Don’t waste my time you have doomed me bye-bye. I thought I could detain her. Oh My son is sick, maybe he needs to grow up get some balls Yeah jobs few becoming fewer what’s a glorious day in Aries thoughts guy I Love my work All right, the minutes later has instituted a special program to control immigrant labor travelers entering for work require a valid work pass Okay, how does that look like? Documents work pants. Okay, so they need one of those seals So entrance must have passport they must be current must have ID for this required entry permit Workers must have a work. That’s okay. Glorious day artist Otsuka Papers come on. What pass work? Okay duration ruler Mr. Adam save Vika Torah, Adam. Say Vika Torah Okay, okay. Okay, okay This is fine In the work permit it’s okay, right? What is this, oh it is, correct He’s from república nyet he’s from import Da hai ban hai okay. Hi Nagesh image show show engaged Sports Yokas, Oh Adam a Car there’s so many things to look at now Have your documents ready? Come on paper. This place was purpose plan to work duration six months da Oh Yet Not interested Michaela John of ‘no I okay Does it have the seal? Okay seal? What is this place integrity? Yeah, what is this place a barista skull okay Expire okay Wet wet Where is your entry permit others, okay all nighter Okay, okay, okay Very good. Enjoy our city good times Please help me. What is this a Name dari olodum promised me and my sister good work. I do not trust him I’m afraid he will take away my passport. First me to work brother. Please – son I don’t have time. This is not my job Immigrating forever vicar Sam Alexander Alexander bickerson Vickers. Ham Vickers ham. What a stupid name. You look mercury’s What country is this Republican yet aunt agree yet nyet nyet nyet nyet nyet o Briston da But what is marry Gary yes, what is this The city is incorrect. I have no idea detained detain them take them away next L don’t white matter Welcome glory to arstotzka what is purpose transit? Okay Couple days. Okay Rubina, Svetlana. Hmm. Okay. Oh Okay, okay Not every day I approve someone No Invalid expiration they goddamn it. Why didn’t you not tell me? God this you again. This looks good But I’m sorry you need You need entry permit I’m sorry. He actually has a good one for one. Oh man, you funny guy Now I need the entry permit Why you’re on very strict border that this good job job, right I looked everything and come back The patience of this guy, I love it one day one day he’ll make it through papers, please. Oh my god Where’s the passport They took away my passport he hasn’t temporary visa. Oh So it’s just to deny him interesting That is thoughts can Foreigners recording it citizens ID card. Okay God you keep giving me this stuff Ludum daddy And what is suspicious photo? 1946 their rate n is 179 No, okay. I’m fine. 81-kilo. Okay, and You expire? We don’t have a problem unless unless I Need to learn like you save so much time it wins once you learn the city’s glory to arstotzka lori its kasta Whenever I have proved someone I feel like ah like that yeah Paris because when you deny, you know for sure you better right? Okay, we know that’s right now we remember that So if they are heavier than normal it means they’re carrying contraband so we get to inspect them later, I remember it Baya, this looks fine No What is this the date don’t match I’ve no idea what you’re talking about detain detain Sender to Siberia Next glory to arstotzka Papers work pass, okay Duration twelve weeks, okay 1983 Okay, oh Sorry fuck where’s his passport? Okay, there’s so much to look at now God your Co City, I think that’s correct Your Co City da Mail okay. Sure Luckman Lockman Stefan Lachman health care. Okay, it’s Stefan. I think I think everything is so Okay. No. No, that’s fine. That’s fine Lucky you You get a proven? Have a great time. Oh He made it okay papers, why does he look so weird You will visit friends 60 days Why I don’t press that what happened no Goddamn it Your son is sick and needs medicine Move upgrade press space to toggle inspect mode Well, I need I need I can’t afford I guess I’ll get heating Glorious day I love my one. Yeah. Okay. Let’s check out the inspect book Search all before approving their entry because of the bombing yesterday. Ok Glorious day no. Yeah, ok. So now we can respect them. Ok This goddamn City Couple months sciency what she said visiting that’s correct Enter bye. Ok, ok Alberta demacia Damacio ok missing ok So Rolls, the rules. He said all collections must be searched. I’m pressing space. How do I search? You we selected you for a random search a random search totally random turn towards scanner I think this is now we get to see some Filthy colleague here. Ah Lavinia Well, you are fined up. You should not see this. I save this Welcome to collect yeah I mean arstotzka Neeext haha Papers kaliesha, we have selected you visit We have selected you for a random search That’s crazy we never do this Random completely random Evade or expire Yeah I will not save this Okay, very well. You are a proof glory to arstotzka I Think we’re doing pretty good papers, please goddamn collections we have selected you Two weeks, okay, this is crazy. You will never do this. I swear completely random Jacquelyn Colonel weather I remember bed or Oh But will not save this Expiry enter by Colonel Jacqueline. Okay glory to arstotzka I Want to deny someone come on stop being good Papers come on. My glorious arrest was Submitted to Kayla one on this industry, okay Okay Switzer camera, hmm, okay Or avec runner It’s all okay, I think Burnt on district Like I did something wrong here, I’m just gonna try and speed it up Invalid gender what the hell was that then? I should have checked stupid. It’s the only thing I didn’t check. Where’s your fucking passport now? I’m getting pissed off You don’t have it Oh valina damn Pope’s Chaya Nineteen enter by Female fine got a check though. God damages are so many things to check The United Federation Christa da These correct da Transit Couple days this one is fine. This one for sure is fine The real question is who checks the checker, right? Yeppers, this is crazy. We never do this Huh, okay Olga – Shin skaia transit But what is this Detention Okay, there we go no weapons, what are you doing you made the mistake good saying What is wrong with people Nice mustache, this is crazy. This is crazy. We never do this. I’ve never seen this in my job The ratio to stay a couple of weeks visiting friends visit ok Very tiny peepee. Very tiny Filthy small peepee collections no weapons Goddammit it’s in the way What are you doing you made a mistake Nani slow down my friend I’ll give you ten credits. You cannot bribe an officer of various thoughts. Can they must be? Neeext Papers Purpose transit couple weeks Okay, ba ba ba ba ba ba teshia Jen rush texia generation female Loren dress What is Loren dress I don’t recognize why do I not recognize fuck I forgot which one are any Lauren does okay fine Expire 1984. I think she’s okay enter by 19 Yep. Okay, fine. Enjoy It’s so much scarier to approve. Okay, this is the last one trains it Time to 14-day transit correct enter by correct Correct, correct Beautiful men I want to let him through This is no yet God, why does it go back all the way? Hi, hon we might as well not if there’s a 1943 male expire I Think this one is okay Welcome to glorious country. My son is dying So that is our first day in glorious era starts can son is sick Boo-hoo-hoo. I Don’t care Why should I care? We’re running really low on everything My everyone’s hungry My hunk. Oh, this is great Thank you for watching this episode of gaming week. Very epic and very nice smash like for gaming We buy all the merch and I see you tomorrow glory to arstotzka What you never played to simulator? You know, it’s fun right? I’m not supposed to give my opinion But give it a try and then you can tell me if it’s good or not not convinced yet. Okay I’ll cut you a deal the game is available for free and that’s a great price

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