Mario vs Minecraft! Who is Gaming’s RICHEST? | The SCIENCE of… Video Game Millionaires
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Mario vs Minecraft! Who is Gaming’s RICHEST? | The SCIENCE of… Video Game Millionaires

August 22, 2019


(Subtitles by Swan Htet) Dear Every Game Company on planet Earth, today We’re doing a video that has hands-down the most fun most ambitious and most like oMFG This is way too much material to cover in one video and promise tomorrow (no way) Topic I’ve ever tried to do the question is simple enough: “Who is the richest video game character of all time?” And no, I don’t mean rich as in the most well-rounded fully conceived character clearly That’s Barbie from Barbie’s horse adventures Wild Horse Rescue! I’m talking rich as in Dollars, Bucks , Cash, Crowns, Coins, Gold, Gil, Rupees, Rings, and in almost every other case. “credits” for some reason, so place your bets now and your preferred fictional denomination because it’s time for: “Lifestyles of the RICH and POLYGONAL” (Music) The list of characters I generated for this video is MASSIVE. I reached out and got great suggestions from my Discord server and my Twitter followers to help fill out the Ranks, because as soon as I started building my own list, It seemed inevitable that I’d forget somebody super obvious and then everyone would unsubscribe my Credibility as someone who does video game math you watch on your phone while you Boop would go well in the toilet I’d get addicted To Tide Pods and end up dying in a laundromat gutter alone! And thoroughly, Ratioed and nobody would come to my funeral because I’m going to be cremated in a time machine with the dial set to RANDOM my original list as it sits is 50 characters long and Calculating the net worth of each one at the absolute fastest rate. I could math took me at least 40 minutes Whereas some took me over 5 hours! So before we get into the meat of the episode and start running down the first entries I have to tell you about my methodology And my limitations first, there are a lot of factors at play here and making these comparisons as fair as possible is vital so while we may include: generic game protagonists like Railroad Tycoon, The Courier and Adam Jensen We wanted to avoid crediting any of the get-rich-quick schemes that you may find online. Another issue is that from an in world perspective our time spent playing and our in-game time don’t always match almost every single game with a day/night cycle has what’s called a “Time Scale” Which is basically how many times faster than our real world, does the game world go. Fallout and Skyrim have a time scale of 20 .The Witcher has one at 15. Breath of the Wilds is 60. and destinies is turned off for some reason 🙁 So for our purposes, we’ll be dividing all time spent playing in our real world by the time scale in order to get a more accurate picture of a Character’s well to return their liquid assets as it were especially in the case of Mario Sunshine in addition We’re gonna be limiting the number of hours any character can work in a day because nobody, NOBODY works 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The Pew analysis of the Labor Department estimates that the average American employee works 38.7 hours a week. 46.8 weeks a year with an average of 1811.16 hours per years of working hours We’ll be multiplying this by 50 to get a 50-year career total for all player characters again It doesn’t matter how long we work our characters as long as it is consistent We can’t have Scrooge McDuck with his average waterfowl lifespan of 5 to 10 years Go up against let’s say a mere immortal Dracula from the Castlevania series Although that does give me a good slash fake ID also, we’re gonna be ranking by 2019 United States Dollars because like no one else would you be doing it. USA! USA! We’re number 1! ( R.I.P Stefán Karl Stefánsson) for a few more months!! EPIC MUSIK We’ll be avoiding Hacky exploits like stealing houses because of a bug, finding secret chests that shouldn’t be available to players and the good old player dot add item f1 bajillion. In-game methods that are legitimate only. I also relied on a lot of different sources and other people’s work to do these calculations so keep an eye glued to the bottom of the screen for citations (Hi there!) when needed and the final and I think arguably most Important piece of the process to keep in mind here is that we’re going to be measuring in world purchasing power as a pure Mathematical value not using a common commodity like gold or silver measuring its mass and just saying “Well if you teleported that much gold to the United States and sold it you’d be 1/18 of Jeff Bezos rich!” instead, We’re gonna build a case for what the in-game currency would be worth in our world the reason for this is Simultaneously simple and complex and it boils down to what currency is at its core According to thomas greco and a book aptly named “MONEY”. What makes a currency a currency is that it fulfils three core functions, 1. It’s a medium of exchange 2. It’s a unit of account and 3.it’s a store of value for these reasons gold and sometimes silver became a popular early form of currency gold was relatively scarce, but still semi plentiful it’s easy to melt, shape and form into distinct amounts, and it doesn’t corrode So gold worked its way into our collective wallets early on because our primitive fires in kilms Could melt it into ingots or bars or coins pretty easily (sidenote: It’s also an excellent conductor of electricity which is why so many Renaissance noblemen protected their treasures by hooking them up to car batteries) of elements with a similar scarcity silver tarnishes which reduces its usefulness and platinum only melts at 1768 degrees Celsius So unless you’re from a pretty advanced civilization no-one’s gonna be making any grilled platinum sandwiches anytime soon. Gold melts at a much cooler 1,000-ish Celsius making it much more attainable for ancient humans these. For reasons according to chemist Cenac Kumar: if we were to rewind history and start everything over, gold would have AGAIN Inevitably become our original first standardized currency material. Machine set in theory, It should be the perfect thing to measure video game wealth by if we can right? No, no! No! NO! you idiot! Okay, you know, okay. I’m sorry. Please don’t leave. I will explain the value of 1kg of gold in the United States and 2019 does not accurately reflect the purchasing power of a crown in The Witcher or a credit in Mass Effect. Gold’s only real purpose in human history was a serve as a physical symbol to facilitate trade and store value It kept you from having to literally bring all of your goats to market if you wanted to trade for a cow! But gold in itself has no constant inherent value. There’s no guarantee That gold is so important, rare or prized among all video game worlds. In fact, one over powered game protagonists hoarding all the game world’s gold would effectively make it valueless because it’s just sitting in a giant vault It’s not circulating as a currency. In a more realistic economy the NPC’s would start trading with something else and all of your endgame hoarding would have been for nothing unless of course you are Scroge McDuck in which case, go on and enjoy diving into your vault of worthless gold and snapping your neck in the process and comparing that highly concentrated hoard of gold to the value of gold in our world where gold has become pretty evenly distributed over the centuries seems like faulty logic, Especially considering gold is no longer used as a currency ANYWHERE. So to compare all of these Wildly different game worlds fairly, we have to find something that they all have in common; not a shiny metal something with intrinsic value. A value that doesn’t change radically based on things like stock markets or sex scandals in short as Hank Mendelsohn a Wholesale gold trader at gold standard watches and jewelry in New York City put it “You can’t live in it, You can’t eat it.” the point is we’re gonna be looking instead at the Monetary value of the resources that mattered the most to human beings Food, Water, Shelter Mason jars with the pixie trapped in it against her will whose soul you suck out if you get to zero hearts You know things that keep us alive and things that keep you alive in post-apocalyptic wasteland. That’s right We’re gonna start by debunking one of my favorite theories of Mat’s right out the radioactive gate The value of a Bottle Cap, because no matter how many ghouls you sweet-talked or robots who rob the Fallout 4 protagonist is all the way at the bottom of our list, you could call them the poorest of the rich. I’m actually kind of just being a little cheeky because Mat did his video before Fallout 4 was even out and Fallout, New Vegas takes place across the country in an entirely different economy. An economy that actually does value gold and where the value of bottle caps might arguably be higher. In fact before the Brotherhood of Steel destroyed the new California Republic’s gold reserves. Their currency was fully gold-backed. So honestly, his method was pretty solid. That being said I wanted to get the latest cannon from a game THAT DOESN”T SUCK! and of course on one of the so discord here at the channel because I am chaos incarnate So taking our cues from Fallout 4 We’re gonna key in on the most important resource in the post nuclear wasteland: Water Let’s compare the buying power of a bottle cap to the economy of another country with a poor supply of clean water Uganda (do yu kno de wae?) a country where 40% of the population Has to travel 30 minutes to get clean drinking water. An efficient cap farming setup in Fallout 4 can yield 3,000 caps per hour times 4527.9 hours the characters total career hours divided by timescale of 20 yields a total fortune of 13,583,700, sticky, used soda caps by the time our wastelander reaches retirement age a bottle of water and fall out cost 20 caps in a bottle of water in Uganda cost 28 cents making each Cap equivalent to 1.4 cents bringing our total lifelong earnings to whopping $190,171.80 , which is miniscule but actually makes sense given that the economy of Fallout has been completely decimated by Nuclear War There’s just less stuff out there and a lot of it is poison So that’s your lot sole survivor work hard your whole post vault life and only make enough to buy a house and a mid-tier Chicago suburb, next up the bat is Luigi, which damn, a another debunked Game Theory episode. Oh, well, I helped research that one So I guess it’s more of a cell phone in that case Luigi was tricky because now we have to figure out the value of COINS not nickels or quarters just COINS Generally my method of comparing this to something in-game with real-world value, it’s a major obstacle in this phase because there’s just not a lot of real-world analogues in the Mario franchises especially ones that are close to the core Canon. Have you priced Fire Flowers or Invincibility Stars lately? No, that’s right. You haven’t in fact not a ton of Mario games even let you buy stuff with coins It’s mostly just a points and 1ups machine, not a true currency of exchange and while it would just lead Jingle my Jollies to divide the average cost of a human life of 9.1 million by 100 COINS in order to get a cost per coin value and literally tell you how many Mario COINS your life is worth. I’m not sure that’s actually the best way to go about it. Naturally I sought out an item shop as you know The Mario RPG spin-offs do have items you can buy but it’s still very hard to find something Comparable to our real world because Mario is and always has been a vibrant cornucopia of NONSENSE! But at long last I found one item from Super Mario RPG Legend of the Seven Stars that was both for purchase and existed in our world, “You can’t live in it, You can’t eat it” and you can only drink it if you melt it down, but as our best bet, Cymbals. In this game cymbals are a weapon for the character Malo and have a set purchase price by comparing that to the average cost of cymbals on Amazon of a similar size, 70 bucks I can finally get a decent estimate of the value of a coin in mario world or Dinosaur Land whatever. an RPG cymbals cost 42 COINS making each coin worth about a buck sixty-six.. This, then revalues the max G’s you can get from loot in Luigi’s Mansion to $47,463 and since 1 coin there is worth 5,000 G’s revaluing our 2017 video’s appraisal of Luigi’s Mansion into 2019 dollars brings us from $986,575.13 to $1,011,140.85 and makes Luigi’s total net worth a still pretty Enviable $1,058,604 and 18 cents. BAM!!! Luigi could buy and sell the sole survivors radiated ass five times over someone just got Stim Pact You know like a super. Okay next to the I’m sorry about that, Of course Luigi’s cool mill is dwarfed by his brothers net worth and if this list from Nintendo suite is correct And I’m a presume it is because I am not gonna count myself There’s a total of 10,071,473 COINS in every single Mario game in our little plumber’s 35-year career if he collected them all he’d be worth over $16,785,788 and 33 cents ever the player two Luigi just be glad your name doesn’t have a “Wa” in front of it or they wouldn’t even let you in Smash, the Dovahkiin in Skyrim clocks in at a unbelievable 37.4 million bucks which we figured out by: believe it or not valuing potatoes which you can eat AND drink If you’re patient enough, the average potato is worth one coin in Skyrim and fifty-five cents in the u.s respectivly. the most efficient farming method yields 15,000 gold per real world hour and you got a divide by time scale 20 So we get a career of 4,527.9 real-world hours. We’re using the term real world loosely here. I have 82 hours on Skyrim So by our standard I’ve just begun my first week of a long LONG career If you’re boring enough to waste that many hours of your life farming gold coins in Skyrim you’d end up with 67.9 million septums or 37.4 bucks and zero functional relationships Next is a major upset with Steve or Alex the protagonist from Minecraft who you probably expected to be in the #1 spot But remember we’re estimating purchasing power not gold reserves If we were measuring purely by Gold or even diamonds they’d probably be way up there But Gold is not the main currency in Minecraft, Emeralds are. Emeralds are worth on average about 20 pieces of wheat. 2 wheat makes a batch of 8 cookies Which means they produce 42.6 grams of flour 21 grams per piece or 0.11% of the yield of a bushel of wheat which costs $5.21 on the open market Making a unit of wheat worth about a penny. That puts an emeralds worth at about 11.6 cents using the most efficient emerald farming method of: 300,000 per hour that gives us a total fortune of 377,000,000 Emeralds or $44,000,000, but the real tragedy of all of this for Steve and Alex is for all their wealth they still can’t buy a round-head The Sims 4 protagonist is my Absolute fricking favorite of the bunch because they make their money No joke by painting, you know The classic archetype of the fabulously wealthy artist in a method detailed by Purple Turtle Girl on YouTube, You’re capable of making 2265.8 and Simolians per day selling your paintings. A bathtub in The Sims is 250 Simolians and the same one in real life is 350 bucks given a 50-year career That’s a grand total of 41.3 million Simolians or 57.9 million dollars! Now if painting is too much work for you, don’t worry, you can also apparently just be poor move into a rich person’s house Kick them out by force and sell all their stuff. You won’t be getting nearly as rich but it’s Super SUPERR easy and freakin hilarious Alright, how far are we? How many did we get through? Do we get through 25? What? We only got through seven? Arggg!!!!!!!!! But I have a list of 50 characters and I cant just like skim over the methods or people wont believe me And I also can’t make a 90 minute(1 hour and a half) video because that would be a movie and film is dead And damn it, I’m almost out of time Oh what am i gonna do what an i gonna do. I’m freaking out right now. I don’t have a plan. This was a stupid idea. Its a stupid STUPID idea! I’m so so screwed. I can taste the Tide Pods already. Okay. wait a minute, wait a minute. Okay. Okay. What if what if we make a thing out of this like a, like a, like a, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Miniseries like The Quest to Find the Richest Video Game Character of all time or some stupid crap like that… because that could that could work right like just pretend it was my plan all along and then I’m not like I’m, a half hazzard mess of a person Running at the end of my rope all the time All right. Okay. Okay. Turn it turn the mic back on. What what do you mean is still rolling? This whole time. Okay. Well, we’ll edit it out later, okay We’re just about done with today’s first episode of a totally pre-planned multi-part series Just give you a small, small taste of what’s to come, We’ve got millionaire ten-year-old billionaires who don’t shower and I swear to God true blue Mathematical trillionaires. Oh and we’ve got Vladimir Putin Maybe I’ll de-bunk MatPat at a few dozen more times so you know subscribe to the channel so you don’t miss it when I run out of other ideas for videos and have to circle back To this. Oh, and I’m also going to be releasing my math for these episodes Specifically on my discord server so you can pick me apart in real time And maybe come up with the stuff I missed so if you want to help me tackle this project in particular King K rool and Donkey Kong because I have no idea how to value a banana back currency hop on over to my discord: Discord.gg/TheSCIENCE and that’s all for now go earn those potatoes sincerely, Austin It seemed inevitable that I’d forget somebody super obvious and everyone would uns- It seemed inevitable that I would forget somebody super obvious and then everyone would uns-s- MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM That I’d forget somebody super obvious and then everyone would unsubscr- AAAAAAAAAAAAA why is it so hard to say! It seemed inevitable that I’d forget somebody super obvious and then everyone would uh AAAAAAAAAAA It seemed inevitable that I’d forget somebody super obvious and then everyone would unsub. Everyone would unsubscribe (le end)

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  1. I hate you for choosing the Turkish March for the background music. Love the video though! (I'm always stunned by the ambition and idea-finding of people like you.)

  2. Steve can literaly make automated farms that fill his chests, barrels and shulker boxes with almost any resource at any given point in time. He can do other stuff while those farms spit out resources. Most farms can work 24/7.

  3. Few issues I noticed:

    1) You failed to take into account the income of the autonomous factories and/or bottling plants that you can build in Fallout 4.

    2) As a few others have mentioned, villager trades in the latest version of Minecraft have changed.

    3) You didn't take into account the production of automated farms in Minecraft.

  4. I can use 15 coal in minecraft to by 1 emerald and in less than 5 minutes I've dug 2 stackes of coal meaning 8.5333333… Emarlds in less than 5 minutes
    Also you can sell stone (if you find the right villagers you can sell all types of stone) and there is a lot and I mean a lot of stone in my inventory when I'm done mineing
    And this is just coal and stone there is alot more valuable items in minecraft

  5. Gilgamesh from fate. It may not be a game to some , but come on, his literal superpower is to be the richest man ever. As in, EVER, ever. In all of time.

  6. why do you only use story mode clips and stuff becouse sometimesin online stuff can be much differnt thn what is can be in a differnt like in gta the money g=you get is almost worthles

  7. I was hoping he was going to talk super super fast through all the math and what not and just smash out those 50 names!

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