LGR – H.U.R.L. – DOS PC Game Review
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LGR – H.U.R.L. – DOS PC Game Review

September 12, 2019


[fizz, sip] Aahhh! It is the summertime, and that means… nothing. I have, however, found quite a few
PC games recently on my excursions out to random places,
such as Goodwill and flea markets. And ran across this freak: H.U.R.L. “Hilarious, Non-Violent, 3D Action Game.” Rated “All” by the RSAC. Made in 1995 by Deep River Publishing and Millennium Media Group. “Grab your water balloons and head
into the trash-filled world of H.U.R.L.,” “a hilarious, 3D cartoon game that will have
your heart pounding and your side splitting.” “The only thing that gets hurt in this game is your pride.” “You’re a squeaky clean secret agent
hot on the trail of Bob the Slob” “and his Hardcore Union of Radical Litterbugs.” “H.U.R.L. has stolen the world’s supply of underwear.” “It’s up to you to get it back.” “To catch Bob, you’ll have to outrun and
outwit his mob of trash-tossing critters” “who’d like nothing better” “than to bury you under a mountain of slime.” “You don’t know gross until
you’ve been hit with old kitty litter.” In other words, this is just crazy. I had to get this as soon as I saw these descriptions. “Take a bite out of grime!” It’s your standard DOS game for 386 computers and up. “HURL your lunch in Fast Food Alley.” “Contains 3D continuous motion.” What? First-person action, wacky animation, etc. I think I’ve seen enough. This looks patently ridiculous, so I have to try it immediately. [goofy AdLib music] So it has AdLib sound, which is a good thing. I am a HUGE fan of anything with AdLib music. Not too much for credits, but– QUIGLEY:
We’re countin’ on YOU, mate, to clean up the Slob Zone and capture Bob the Slob! I’d like to ‘elp ya do it, but I’ve got to stay ‘ere an’ shampoo me kangaroo! Good luck, mate! LGR:
Okay, that’s the first sign of trouble: the worst Australian I have ever seen. Or most importantly, heard. Here we have a list of the
random things you’ll come across. Creatures and forces of nature, as well as the different items
you will come across in the game. And the very simple, standard controls: Spacebar to open doors, Alt to shoot, etc. [whimsical AdLib music] So the game itself… greets you with an ugly pig thing which apparently does nothing but sit there. It seems all you really need to do first is get used to the handling! This has to be the worst-handling
first-person shooter I have ever played! In my previous review, Depth Dwellers, it took you forever to turn around. Well, this one, it turns you around
completely in about a split second! So it makes aiming or moving–
just everything–completely awkward. WAY too fast. Once you get over that little bit, it seems the entire point of the game is to go around and kill creatures such as evil ducks with ties. And also to pick up the random bits of trash which you can then convert into money. I read that this game is one to teach kids great values. Well all I’m learning so far is that walking is a chore, ducks are evil, pigs are brain-dead morons, going around and picking up all sorts of random trash out of alleyways is fine, as long as you go and convert it into money or weapons later on. And showering in public is perfectly acceptable, but we’ll get to that later. There’s trash all over the place
left by this Bob the Slob’s minions. Apparently they’re OCD minions, because everything is laid out in a nice, little, evenly-spaced line of trash. When you go to the Trade 4 Trash, you can buy three different types of weapons: water balloons, soap and deodorant. I could only imagine how
effective this would be in real life, throwing deodorant and soap pieces at, like, dirty hippies on the side of the road and homeless people and– well, you get the idea. I honestly only ever buy water balloons. And just as fast as you move, you shoot even faster. So you run out of your ammo pretty
much as soon as you press the button. The pigs serve no purpose other than to get in the way and look stupid. You can shoot them with a single
water balloon and they’ll fly away. Which is made of total rad, by the way. The game is your simple find the key, find the exit, shoot bad things along the way, get a few things to restore your health along the way. There’s a very high degree of
random occurrences in this game, such as this pay phone, which does nothing! [dial tone, touchtone dialing] VOICE:
You’ll never catch me, sad dude. I’m too slippery! Although I have to give it points for interactivity. You also have showers,
which you can use if you get dirty. This is the only game that I can think
of you can actually use a shower and shower off. At least in this kind of a game.
I know you can do it in The Sims. The aiming is absolutely horrendous. You can’t really shoot anything
and then you end up dying because everything hits you from
about a hundred directions at once. Sometimes you just shoot straight through things. Sometimes you can’t shoot at all. Once you get all the keys, you’ll find where to go and then you get to the exit. [sliding door] [chime] [sliding doors] QUIGLEY:
You’re off to a great start, mate! I’m with ya all the way! In spirit. LGR:
That guy is a shifty punk! And an absolute pansy! I have a feeling this one of those conspiracy games with a big twist at the end where HE is actually Slob the Bob or whatever at the end who stole everybody’s underwear. Doesn’t he look like an underwear thief to you? And the second level is absolutely classic. [country AdLib music] Yeah, it’s a trailer park. Complete with twangy, country-western music. This has to be one of the few trailer parks in a game, other than maybe Postal and
Redneck Rampage that come to mind. You can go inside pretty much all of them. It’s also one of the very few games with working toilets which DO restore your health, which I have to give it extreme props for that. And again, I can’t stress how bad the controls are. I tried this on multiple computers with different speeds. And it’s a challenge just to get to the door. You end up sliding left and right past it, or it closes before you can
get to it because it’s so bad. Otherwise, I really would kind of enjoy this game. I actually like this game.
I don’t know what it is about it. Maybe it’s just its strange colors and its weird ideas. But it has character. You cannot deny that. And its quirkiness is just awesome. So… I’m not sure that I would recommend it. But if you like old-school first-person shooters, I would say why not. It was also released as Slob Zone 3D a little bit later on, so that’s something to keep in mind. You can find either version not too difficultly. And every level is very much distinguishable from the last. So… It doesn’t really get boring. Geared towards kids, it’s pretty simple to play, and there’s only one boss at the very end of the game, which is Bob the Slob, so you don’t
really have to worry about that at all. So it’s purely an old-school
first-person shooter experience. So if you like that, I would say why not give it a try. It will probably be about the
weirdest game you will ever play in this genre. [country AdLib music]

Only registered users can comment.

  1. So we don't want to train our children to be blood thirsty killers…So instead lets make an FPS with gross potty humor.  PERFECT LOGIC.

  2. Surprised nobody noticed this, but what kind of mobile home, or any home for that matter has sliding grocery store doors?

  3. I have to admit. When I saw this video back in 2010, I instantly subscribed to this channel. Your humor and love for the classic PC games brought me to find my favorite series on the system. From your humble beginnings, I'm glad to see your show improve as the years go on. Thanks for the enjoyable experience and keep on rolling with your (Not so) Lazy Game Reviews.

  4. Speaking of Redneck Rampage, you really gotta do a review on that sometime. I loved it as a kid, but I haven't played since.

  5. In a little more than 3yrs it will be a decade since this episode, I love the fact that even as of today your reviews are the best out there and haven't sold out (joking of course). I wish you & Kim all the best for the future and I Thank You for LGR!

  6. Holy shit, I remember this game. My friend had it. The deodorant is what triggered the memory for me. Can't say I remember enjoying it, though.

  7. I know this review is super old and someone might have already mentioned this, but No One Lives Forever 2 has a really awesome trailer park level, complete with a tornado ripping through it.

  8. This is driving me crazy. I went through your video library and I was 100% sure I had watched all your reviews. But now a bunch of the old ones started popping up on my feed and, such as this one, I've never seen them before. How did I miss them?

  9. When I was a kid my friends and I all had this game and we all thought it was AMAAZIIINGGGG even though we couldn't get past like the 2nd level lmfao

  10. Hah I remember this one a buddy had it and I forgot the name. Been looking around for ages thanks for uploading!

  11. That's… a kangaroo? LIES!
    I like the look of this game. It's very much it's own thing, and had I found it back in those days, I would have certainly got a kick out of it. It's a real shame the control is so bad, because it honestly looks interesting enough to play through. I love the character design on those ducks and pigs. Too bad you didn't get to the litter throwing kitties from the artwork (assuming they are in there, since the litter is referenced on the back of the case as well).

    Great review, another good video. Thanks for all your work. 🙂

  12. have to say… ur videos are very underdoggish, very good and informative, similar to ashens ur videos are timeless and very similar from 08 to 16. u deserve many more subs

    also, request: do touhou pc98

    even if u dont… cheers m8, keep it up, ethan great work!

  13. Man, it's hard to believe you've been around for 7 years. This was the video I first discovered you with. There was a re-release of this game called "Slob Zone 3D" and I wanted to know what in the hell that was and google brought me here. lol. 'Grats on being on YouTube nearly a decade!

  14. "It is the summer time and that means… nothing"
    those intros are so nostalgic, fam. I can also identify with that kind of lifestyle, i dont know why i should have fond memories over sitting to play on an old computer with food besides me like some nerd, but i do. I have been following your stuff since i found the depth dwellers review and let me say that you are one of the few people that truly do justice to PC gaming back in the day and even today, your videos have slowly but surely gone from top to god tier, and it has been a truly enjoyable ride from the start to this point, keep up with the good work, man!

    Also adlib, i also love it. Specially the Tyrian soundtrack.

  15. dang, I'm really enjoying the, I dunno, "color balance" of this game? It looks like they put a lot of time into the art! Everything as a great bright feel to it, reminds me of Day Of The Tentacle color schemes

  16. I don't know what it is about this game but it just seems so comforting and nice. It has the tone of a Christian game without all the scripture.

  17. Ah yes back when discovery wasn't important and spoilers was as common as stolen underwear. That old computer reminds me of the laptop at where I work. They still have a windows xp and boy it's nostalgic to put in my usb and play old dos games on it

  18. Never played the original but played the re-release called Slob Zone 3D. It was one of those annoying yet fun games I loved as a kid. 😛

  19. duuuuuude, i used to love this game just because of the idea of the vending machine in FPS that u can buy stuff (yes i know there are other games have them), and the cartoony graphics i guess.

  20. I loved this game so much growing up, makes me happy to see it again and visit the nostalgic happy feels. [I saw my aunt playing doom and i wanted to play… my mom was unsure and got me HURL as a compromise] my uncle secretly installed doom on my pc he made for me but for a few years I still liked HURL over doom, got to play both though! fond memories of simpler times LGR

  21. It's unique in it's own weird way x3 And for kids? Well.. Better than lettin' 'em play doom I guess xDD

  22. People responsible for horrible cartoon 'Australian' accents are very lucky Australians are collectively well humoured.

  23. Literally the only issue I have with this review is the length of time between cuts. Other than that, the resolution and the clarity of your voice, your old stuff actually holds up really well.

  24. The game looks like a shitty Wolfenstein 3D or Pathways into Darkness clone. Want to play those two games while outdoors instead of being locked in castles and a pyramid/catacombs respectively? Now you can!… In a game that has bad controls, horrible voice acting and no violence I.e. a crap one, especially for the latter. If I want to play a game about picking up trash as a selling point, I'll stick to Blinx the Time Sweeper.

  25. Speaking as an Australian, I can testify that I probably sound like the guy at the intro to the game. Well, I would, if I was forced to read a script whilst being shaken violently and repeatedly punched in the gullet.

  26. hahaha a cat throwing its own litter box at you! I remember this game on a old shareware compilation cd and hated it. Please review Bad Toys 3d?

  27. it is a sin of epic proportions that I just found this channel in 2018!
    for an old school PC gamer like me, this is the best content on the internet! Thank you. now I have so much back content to get caught up on!

  28. Were you recording your voice on Type 1 cassette tape here, Clint? If so, might I suggest Dolby noise reduction or perhaps even just Chrome Type II cassettes? 😉

  29. Wow, I had this game as a kid but I didn't know how to open it until my cousin came over and had to show me how to use a computer

  30. I can tell this was from nearly a decade ago because the intro is fucking 30 seconds long. Seriously, why was that a thing that so many channels used to do?

  31. For some reason I love this game too. Maybe it's just the nostalgia. I'd recommend playing it on DOSBox where you can drastically reduce the clock speed. A lot of games from this era didn't have a time based game loop.

  32. The moving and handling speed on this game honestly gives me a headache from just looking at it

  33. ”it is summertime and that means… nothing” had me laughing well over a minute. Lord have mercy.

  34. Played this game as a kid; loved it. The game isn't actually supposed to move like that; you probably have your clock rate way too high. I'm pretty sure the game's speed is tied to the clock rate like most other DOS games.

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