Articles

IF VIDEO GAMES WERE REAL 4

September 26, 2019


[English subtitle by Hananeel Rapanan, enjoy!] Another mobile game? Ugh, stupid casuals. Shut up! (Ian the Dragon Warrior) Dude, what the hell are you doing? Uh, I’m getting fit with Wii Fit, duh. We both know there’s no way you’re gonna actually get fit just by balancing on a board. Come on man, it’s just a game. Okay, you can’t expect all games to be realistic. (If Video Games Were Real Episode 4!) Super Mario Maker Mario: Who the f*ck-a made this sh*t? The Last of Us Joel we have to run. What are you doing? You shut your damn mouth Ellen Page. Ooh, gears. *takes gears* Five Nights At Freddy’s Hey uhh, boss. How much would you pay me for this? 11 dollars? Yeah, f*ck that sh*t. Weeeeeee! Happy Wheels Hmm. Just one tiny little step. I could totally make that. *directed by Michael Bay* Batman: Arkham Knight Where is it?! Batman! What the f*ck are you doing the city’s on the brink of destruction! Shut up man! I’m trying to find the realest trophies! Which is really more important! Haha, hahaha! I found it. It was behind an old plant! The Riddler, really is a criminal mastermind. Only 500 more to go! Heh… Pokemon GO Hey guys, let’s go catch ’em all! Everyone: Yeah! *crippling depression* Hey, got one. Good job. Gears of War And we have our winners for the hundred meter alleyway dash and oh, in a distant third is Marcus Fenix. *grunts* That’s quite an interesting way to sprint. I don’t know why he does that. I can’t help it. I’m running as fast as I can. But at least he’s not in last place and yep, it’s Joel. Joel stop looking for gears! (of war) My daughter, and clickers. The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword Agh! What! What in the world is wrong with Link? He’s using the Wiimote. Ohh… What? Jesus, agh! Oh sh*t. Euro Truck Simulator 2 (Wait there’s a second game? damn I didn’t know until now.) What you doin’, Buck? Drivin’ a truck. What kind of truck? Euro Truck. That’s the coolest truck. You’re right, mother trucker. Fallout Hehe! You’re gonna die! Uhh, why aren’t we moving? We’re about to get shot. Because John he’s choosing which part of our body he wants to shoot and we just have to hope that by random percentage algorithm, the bullet will miss. Well, I’m sure we’ll be fine. I mean there’s only a 60% chance of- *gunshot* *arm flies away into the sunset* What the f*ck?! John, he shot my whole arm off with a teeny tiny bullet! Yeah, I guess you’re right it would suck if video games were realistic. Yeah right look how buff I got, yeah. Holy sh*t dude! But it’s only been… Three minutes and fifty-six seconds. (DAMN HE’S F*CKING RIGHT!) Dude, my rip body already scored me a hot date with the chick that made me fit. Hey, babe, are you and your sexy biceps ready for a romantic dinner? Oh you know it, babe… (SlenderWii) *The Shouting Duet* I do. You may now kiss the bride. Okay. Where are your lips? Hey guys, thanks so much for watching. Click that subscribe button for a 1-up. Click the video on the left to watch the deleted scene from Goat Simulator and bloopers from this video. You’re my bride. Just hold still. *making out intensifies* Click the video on the right to watch “Every Halloween Ever”. What are you? A slutty nurse. What are you? A slutty bee. What are you Shelby? Gandalf. (You shall not, FLA- I mean, PASS!) And if you’re a hardcore mobile gamer playing this on your hardcore touchscreen device, all the links are down in the description below. [Have a nice day/night guys!]

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