I paid Belle Delphine $3,000 to be my girlfriend
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I paid Belle Delphine $3,000 to be my girlfriend

August 25, 2019

Okay. You know what? I can make a lot of money from this. Belle Delphine: One of the GREATEST minds of our generation. More importantly, Belle Delphine is a WOMAN- …on the internet. Some would call that- being a GIRL GAMER. Now I first heard of Belle from various commentary channels making videos on her. [generic British commentator]: “Alright, for real, what is she trying to accomplish here?” “I mean, she looks she’s has just stubbed her toe, in the corner of a bed or some shit.” “i JuSt DoN’t GeT iT! :(((((((” “There’s multiple videos of her pulling this face.” “‘Why?’ You ask?” “i DoN’t FuCkInG KnOw!” [Pyro]: Alright mate, chill out! CS:GO Surf Gameplay, 2019. If you can’t beat them, join them. Hey guys, so today- I have a crazy topic. And whenever I end a sentence, I zoom out the footage OUT to convey dramatic effect, or alternatively, ZOOM IN the footage to convey drama- I-I can’t do this, this-this is AIDS. It does amaze me though, that in 2019 gameplay commentary is still a thing. SHOW YOUR FACE, MEMEULOUS!!11!11!!! Well, Memeulous overtook me in subs, so uhh… the next video is probably gonna be ClusterTruck ga-gameplay. HEY GUYS! I don’t wanna show my face anymore, I’m pretty uncomfortable. I’m gonna go back to Happy Wheels! [2011 PewDiePie]: “You traitor [quack]!” ^ Alvin Alsac- ki? [Pyro]: You are… a man of wisdom. RIGHT, back on topic: Belle Delphine. And yes! I do have to preface it, I DID steal this video idea from WillNE. Look, after I saw Minecraft™ Steve™ getting a 75k sub day, I HAD a literal panic attack, and rush to make this video, alright? BUT I’M GONNA ONE-UP HIM, BY GIVING HER MORE MONEY! “Is that?” *very loud laughing* Now Belle Delphine, originally started on TikTok, I don’t know if you guys have heard of it, it’s kinda of a niche site. I definitely haven’t made any videos on it. You may remember Belle being on the thumbnail on pretty much, EVERY TikTok reaction ever. [thoomp6x.mp3] Because a video without Belle Delphine in the thumbnail- …seven views. A video WITH Belle Delphine in the thumbnail: FIVE HUNDRED GAJILLION VIEWS!!!!!!!!!!! You guys remember when I did TikTok reactions? Wow! Oh, my goodness. That’s so crazy! Wow. Oh- I can’t believe they did that. Guys- this is just cringe. *chuckles* SNAP! tHat oNE’S gOing iN mY cRinGe CoMpIlAtIoN! Now, one thing Belle seems to be famous for- is doing the ahegao expression. It’s this thing you do in the Chinese cartoons- I don’t really understand it that much. Now, sadly… Belle Delphine, was banned from TikTok. :((( Oh, my God. I couldn’t sleep for five weeks you guys. I actually have no idea why she was banned to be honest. None of her content violated the community guidelines. I mean, I guess you could say it fell under: “Sexual Activity”. I don’t know- mAyBe????? But, by watching her TikToks- I felt personally attacked. So, instead of sexual activity- We’ll chalk it up as cyber-bullying. Now, fortunately, Belle does have a Facebook page. Thank you, God. And on her Facebook page, you do have people occasionally thirsting on her. Here you’ve got this completely “normal” picture of her. And then below: ^ cRlNgE. Now she’s got her Facebook page, but where she’s really taken off- is INSTAGRAM. Again, it’s a niche site, I don’t know if you guys have heard of it. What I love about her licking that katana, It’s probably more safe than licking an envelope. Now her Facebook has a couple of people lightly thirsting on her, Instagram is Noah dividing the oceans of people’s saliva. ^ *sigh of disappointment* Wow, that is so cringe. I love when you’ve just got someone else promoting on her page as well. ^ Parasite. ^ I don’t know, man. It’s almost like there are horny, 12-year-old boys on the internet. I mean, she didn’t really help herself by making that ligma joke. That little chuckle at the end was her soul leaving her body. I made a ligma joke in 2018. What bridge do I jump off this evening? ^ @cartoonlogic: “You have sat on my dick.” I mean, she isn’t helping herself, her pictures are quite provocative. ^ *[oh, my God…]* The thing is- you think they’re savage. But, you go on their profile, they’re probably like… 10. Dr Phil: How are you? Female Teen[?]: Hello, I’m great, how are you? Dr Phil: So, why do you suppose these people are clapping right now? Female Teen[?]: I really don’t know why they’re clapping, I don’t deserve any applause. ^ I have Spongebob as my picture because I’m not comfortable with my appearance, guys. *Mii Channel Theme Music* *heavily distorted bass track* Oh, my God. Why is bass funny? I’m actually retarded though, like- you could have the best comedians come to me and do a performance- and I would not even smirk. But, if you have a loud funny noise in the background, I just instantly laugh. ^ I mean, I’m not gonna lie chief: if you say cringe that many times in a sentence… YOU’RE the one that’s “CrlNgE”. People that say “cringe” are AIDs positive. That’s my fact of the day. She also did a Hit or Miss meme, but- the way that copyright works on YouTube, you could literally HUM the song, and it is fair copyright. So, I had to completely transform the song, and the lyrics to make it a completely new song. Universal Media Group [UMG]. PISS OFF. “….” “One would suggest one would never blunder.” “…a male partner.” “You would also never be one to blunder.” “He would also find another spouse.” “And, never want to miss your presence.” “I can’t do this, this is AIDS!” Also, Belle has a YouTube channel which is pretty epic. She’s only got two videos on there at the minute. One of them was uploaded like, two years ago I’m not gonna bother watching that,

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  1. Dude, hentais the shit. Anyone who says hentai is weird and perverted is a little bitch. Hentai gets me off better than actual women irl, which shows how insecure and sad my life is.. Fuck you.

  2. Thats just stupid shes a scam she just wants the money guys look at her website her pee is literally 9,999 dollars


  4. belle has been on facebook since like 2015 when she was a minor and she had some clout it's crazy she's recently been blowing up

  5. It's sad when were paying for fraudulent gamer girls for temporary para-social relationships. There are webcam models you can pay for far less and you get to see everything, compared to just getting art style photos or a brief gaming sessions.

    Females who do this, please let your client base know that they have no actually chance of dating you, it's just for novelty purposes.

  6. Of course England’s robot voices have a British Accent… why can I never remember the rest of the world isn’t a United State.

    Follow up question: why didn’t Stephen Hawking’s computer have a British Accent

  7. Stop stop the real question is how the hell 12 years old have money don't there family questions what the hell there buying

  8. Is nobody going to point out the fact she idolizes fairies and in a lot of old stories, fairies are monster that kill people while looking cute. Then she keeps her doll house loaded down with weapons. I wonder if her creepiest fans go missing. Like, gets a chomo at her house and chops him up, in a bad way, with a sword…

  9. She actually sounds like a normal girl, if she didn’t do all the lewd stuff she could just be a normal cool girl. And she legit meets all my standards when it comes to dating

  10. bro i mean like why why did u klickbaited 4 mio people wtf is wrong with u u have 3.5 mio subs is that not enough ?

  11. So cringe Lamao 😂😂😂😂😅😂😂😅😅😅😂😅😅😂😅😅😅😂😂😅😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😅😅😅😂😅😂😅😂😂😅😂😂😂😅😅😅😂😂😅😂😂😅😂😫🖕🏿🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆🍆

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