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August 28, 2019

Listen up, you virgins. I bet you never had a real girlfriend. pfft.. Pathetic, you losers. It’s all about that Kanojo VR everybody I’ve been wanting to play this game for a loooooong time. Oh, yeah This videos been brought to you by Don’t tell Marzia productions. Alright, here we go. Time to meet my new wife (some japanese in the background) You’re late! Come here, give me tea You’re welcome. Wait, I’m supposed to sit there? Well, what if I can get my chair and sit in VR? This would be the perfect immersion that I’ve always wanted Oh, my god. Oh! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) [VR birds in the bg] Sorry, what? Okay, she’s gonna go. She’s gonna go up. Don’t worry, guys. I got a perfect way to solve this problem *shows what his 399 chair can do* Just a little closer– DAMMIT! HEYYYYYY *family friendly* Bring me, bring me back up. Bring me back up, okay? heheh ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) *naughty giggles from senpai* *a bit naughtier than expected* *naughty-turns-evil giggle* *giggles censored from this point onwards* *regurgitating noise* OHHH AWRRRRGH (in japanese) chotto matte da- — Chotto matte kudasaiiiiiii Tickle, tickle Ah, my cable, it’s… GAWD DAMMIT You, doofus. You’re good for nothing, useless whamen [not serious @ WSJ] Disappointed. Yeah, you broke it. You broke the book. Because you’re a moron, that’s why. Japan’s capital is Kyoto??? Are you actually reta– [family-friendly Felix] I see you looking at me with fear in your eyes. (nervous looks from the kanojo) I’m asking you, Is there something wrong with you? Is there something actually wrong with you? Hey, baby ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) *girl moans sensually with some japanese telling to pls staph* We’ve been working hard, you know. *girl giggles delightfully* The Double Squeeze!!! “itai yo…” This is my chance to escape! Finally, I can get out of here! (did he escaped hmmM) Yes, I made it. I survived! (no u didn’t) Damn it Wait, really? Really? Oh, she’s sleeping. *girl moans softly* All right, perfect immersion, guys. Finally I can sleep with a whamen. Let me just.. *trying to immerse himself* *sounds of pewds laying down on the floor* *where is 399 when you need it??* Ah, yes, the – *ended up laying under the bed xD* *hilarious laughter* Yes, this is where I – *wholesome laugh* This is just- *more laughter* *never saw pewds this happy* *You go, senpai* This is just like I sleep with Marzia *cutest skratta* *highly sensual sounds from the girl* *moans and groans* *bliss* YAAAARRRGGGHAAAH *girl purrs in happiness* *in voice only poods can do* Tickle, tickle! *girl purrs more* What is THIS? (hmmmmMMm) *shakes object* This is like, you get the you get the ju- like how does it? Oh, I see! (it is indeed for ankles) *some spy in action sound I found the target *kanojo is heard talking to herself This is PewDiePie to headquarter. I found the T H O T *climbs the dangerous tree branch without hesitating* *peeks* She seems to be completely delusional and lost. She must be a streamer *poods clicking buttons sounds I’m going in. Huh! *jumps without fear of dying or falling to that deep abyss beh bah bah *gets through the window easily with the help of his spy skills* AAAA *lands perfectly on the bed. No sweat, no blood, no struggles* What is she doing?! *in voice only poods can do* Stop it! Stop that right now!! *poods trynna punch the whamen* *girl gasps after sit-up* Good job, now sleep. *poods trynna suffocate whamen* Go to sleep, go to sleep. Oh, I’m not- I’m not looking I’m not LOOKING Fine. I’ll look away. *whamen struggling, nice guy pewdiepie stares* Oh my god, you’re completely useless. *whamen touches her own bobs* There you go. *laughs* *slams electric fan onto the whamen* *punch SFX* *laughs* Here’s your kiss. *Nice guy pewdiepie slams electric fan again onto whamen again* Kanojo: whats wrong? What? nothing, nothing, nothing’s wrong *girl moans again* *whamen runs into her bed with a “transferring a corpse to the coffin” position* Ha, Doki Doki! Aww, she loves me. I’m such a great person. Die. You should die. *whamen wanna hug mr. chair* Who she- Who are you talking to you? What do you want from me? *succing sounds* *ultimate hot kanojo emerges Oh. My. God. Oh, my god. *yeugh* (another way to say eew) Oh, my god. (poods is disgusted xD) I’m scared. I’m scared, I’m actually scared. Open the bottom drawer dressing Okay, what do I do with this? *eats Pocky with kanojo* There you go. *kanojo not satisfied* Are you satisfied? *kanojo panics* *nice guy pewdiepie stares at kanojo that is currently being threatened by the bug Don’t worry. Don’t worry, I’ll squish it. I’ll squish it, don’t w– QUIET, I’m squishing it PAH
*misses the bug* PAH
*misses again* PAH *iloveass999999 eliminated the bug. rip bug* *iloveass999999 eliminated kanojo. victory royale *poods massages her a-, uh back i mean* *a horrifying screech of pleasure* *same screech again* Go on! GO! *heheheha* *laughs* *camera shutter sound* *shutter sound remix* I can make you feel pain. I can make you feel suffering. I can make you feel… …like you wish you were never born. Okay, look at me Look at me! kanojo: “bikkuri shita” Cool I’m really glad I started playing more video games. This is definitely what I was looking for. *nice guy pewdiepie suffocates kanojo with a pillow* Don’t resist! *poods aiming his pencil, ready to attack any time* *pencil falls to kanojo’s face with a ‘boing’* *skrattar* One more 👏 👏 One more 👏 👏 Come on, you can do it. *zooms in to maid kanojo’s bobs* *demonetized* *404 error* Wow, you’re so tense. *nice guy pewdiepie slaps her hair* She crying? *deviant android pewdiepie stabs kanojo 28 times* Ha! Haha-hahah Aaah, you dummy dumb! OH MY GOD *poods slammin them bobs* That looks so bad You can’t hold back your feelings? Okay, here I come. Just kidding. *pewds dabs perfectly like a real man* *audience keeps cheering* *cheering continues* *felix frozen in dab position* *kanojo in the ‘transferring a corpse to the coffin position’ again* *romantic music plays* *drone buzzing as girl appraches to kiss* Okay, that was kanojo VR. What a great game! Really good game. *senpai speechless* Leave a like if you *girl moans as felix licks his lips* Alright, let’s give her a final kiss. There it comes. Are you ready? Here we come. BAAAA Begone t h o t *audience laugh track plays* NO! *applause and cheers* RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *A S S outro plays to hit the ten minute mark and get an extra ad because this game is extremely dangerous and can possibly demonetize the video* *the finale* *have a great day* *hurray chicken won* 10:05

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