Gaming Toothbrush
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Gaming Toothbrush

September 23, 2019


Introducing the world’s first- The world’s first- …gaming toothbrush “I can play video games… …while I’m brushing!” “The better I brush… …the higher my score.” Look at this piece of shit. I can’t- I can’t- play with this… It’s a piece of shit! What I need… …is Grush. “Grush is short for the gaming toothbrush.” “Let’s see how Charles and his little brother David enjoy their new gift.” “This game – “Monster Chase” instructs children in proper brushing technique by having them wipe out strategically placed monsters-” Yeah but can it play Knack? Huh? “We have achieved what we call… Tooth to Tooth navigation.” Buh-bye. “I have a magic toothbrush!” “It beats all of the monsters in my mouth!” Look at Nintendo’s stock here and the week leading up to the Switch reveal. Then… Boom. We have the Grush reveal. This thing is obsolete before it even comes out now. “We have a new flossing attachment… …with the brand new flossing game.” (wheeeeeeew) “So you have more than one game too, you have different…-” “-Yeah, we have several games… …and we’re thinking about doing an MMO.” Look at these miserable people using a normal toothbrush. They look depressed. They look like they have nothing to live for. Now, look what it’s like to brush… …with Grush. (buzzzzzzz) (pow) (bam-pa-pow) (pow) (fa-thud) (bam) “Congratulations!… …you have gotten one of your first of badges!” “The game is now done.” (pow) Damn. I can’t believe I missed that shot. If only I had my stupid fucking Grush. “Do you think that this is something that adults could do as as well?” “This is our adult game.” (intense music) “Hello. My name is JE- Charles, this is David, and we both *love* Grush.” “When can we download the game?” “In six months!” “Go Grush!” (ding)

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  1. If you brush too much, you'll strip away the protective enamel of your teeth. You gotta be careful Dunkey… You aren't an Ork from Warhammer 40k. Your teef don't grow back that fast

  2. "Wow, we really like the thing"
    "When can we actually use the thing?"
    "I'm six months"

    Ik that the idea was that they're supposed to be testers, but at first it seemed to me that the smoller child was implying that they never actually used it before

  3. Being serious, they’re gonna make a MMO.
    FOR A TOOTHBRUSH.
    A FREAKING TOOTHBRUSH.
    Some kids are gonna be “addicted” to brushing their teeth, no they’re addicted to Grush MMO.

  4. I’m waiting for that one bookworm deluxe comment hating on grush and there’s some grush comment hating on bookworm deluxe

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