GARLIC JR.: Don’t be a dummy. Give them your money! GOHAN: Mom… This is an intervention. We love you, we all support you… …but your manner of raising me
has been too strict, and too harsh. Like my new tutor. (Groans of pain)
TUTOR: Learn! (Groans of pain)
TUTOR: Learn! Learn! (Groans of pain)
TUTOR: Learn! Learn! Learn! Are you learning yet?! GOHAN: I don’t know. Did Caligula get his comeuppance!? TUTOR: Good! It’s working! Learn! Learn! Learn!
GOHAN: (Resigned groan / sigh) Learn! Learn! Learn!
GOHAN: (Resigned groan / sigh) Learn! Learn! Learn! Learn!
GOHAN: (Resigned groan / sigh) I know that you love me, but it seems your only way of expressing it is theoretical math, and organic chemistry. So please… put the tiger mom back in the cage, and then *maybe*… …Dad will come home. KRILLIN: And that’s why we’re on the Lookout. But it kinda seems like you’ve got another thing going on. SPICE: We are the Spice Boys. So stop and move over, because we’re about to *spice* up your life. I am Spice. VINEGAR: Hey. Name’s Vinegar. MUSTARD: And my name is… …is Tard. KRILLIN: Excuse you?! MUSTARD: Like “mustard”! Come on, guys! Please don’t make a big deal out of this! It’s cultural, okay? VINEGAR: Psh, I shorten “Vinegar” all the time, but you don’t hear me calling myself N– SPICE: Vinny! Damn it, you’re going
to get us in trouble again! Don’t make us kick you out like we did with Baby Spice. BABY SPICE: Whenever I go out of town on business,
I like to do my research on where I’m going! What are the local hot-spots, the bar scene, the age of consent;
make the best of my time, you know? ENEMA: And I’m Enema! ADMIRAL PIETT: It’s an older reference, sir, but it checks out. KRILLIN: Wait, is that… …Garlic Junior?! Weren’t you trapped in another dimension,
never to escape?! GARLIC JR.: Yes, I escaped. KRILLIN: OH NO! GARLIC JR.: Quite. And now – I’ve captured Kami, and released
the Black Water Mist upon the planet. KAMI: [muffled] It’s actually something Popo’s
been fermenting for the last couple hundred years. He says it’s great for vape pens and butt chugging. GARLIC JR.: Ew. SPICE: And now, with the help of *the Makyo Star*…! We’re going to wipe out all of the Earth’s defenses. GOHAN: Please; we’ve got Piccolo,
and he beat up second-form *Freeza*. What are you gonna–? PICCOLO: (Canine growling) PICCOLO: (Canine growling)
GOHAN: …Oh, great. So he’s on bath salts now, too. PICCOLO: (Canine growling) ENEMA: Time to get the shit out! KRILLIN: Gohan! FUCK! MUSTARD: You and I are gonna have a real *gas*. KRILLIN: The long-term effects of mustard
gas on soldiers in World War II was horrific. Why would y–? [Repeated grunts / groans of pain] AW, FINALLY!! MUSTARD: By the way, it was World War I. KRILLIN: Right, I know, you just – like – you start saying
“World War”, and you just kind of want to say “two”. You know, it’s like with Terminator.
Everybody *knows* there’s a first one, but everybody’s always talking about the seq– UEEAaAaA! GOHAN: Krillin! Oh my God, are you okay? KRILLIN: Man, I’m glad we skipped this the first time. GOHAN: Well, where’s Vegeta? He can help us! KRILLIN: Apparently, he went out
to space to find your dad. VEGETA: All right; I’ve checked everywhere
except for Planet Yardrat and Vampa. Wait a minute – am I floating in space? Man… Guess it’s a good thing I’m in a part of
[chuckles] galaxy where there’s air. ENEMA: So I told the bitch, “Don’t worry!” “Once I’m all up in your guts,
you’re gonna feel fresh and clean!” GOHAN: HAAA! ENEMA: HOLY SHIT! MUSTARD: Enema! Noooo! I mean… we actually hated him,
so I’m not really heartbroken over it, but I’ve been using his HBO Go account,
and while I’m not into Game of Thrones, I’m really enjoying Silicon Val– GOHAN: AAAAAAAHHHH! MUSTARD: FUCK!! KRILLIN: Holy shit, Gohan, did you just kill two people? GOHAN: I NOW HAVE A TASTE FOR *BLOOD*! GARLIC JR.: Why you like that, though? VINEGAR: Spice, release the cokehead. SPICE: Sic ’em, boy! PICCOLO: RRREAUGH–! KAISERNEKO: Guys, what should we do with this scene? LANIPATOR: We-should-do-a-Dodge-joke. We haven’t done one in forever, people fffucking
love them and we made the goddamn shirt! WE FUCKING DO IT! KAISERNEKO: Maybe…? I don’t know; Curt, what do you think? …All right. Dodge joke it is. LANIPATOR: FUCK YEAH! D’AGH! PICCOLO: DOOODGE! GOHAN: AAUGH! GARLIC JR.: Good. Now choke him! Choke the shit out of him! [Printer-esque noises] GOHAN: [strained] Harder… PICCOLO: WHOA! GARLIC JR.: WHOA! VINEGAR: BRO! SPICE: WHAT?! KRILLIN: Jesus, WHAT?! GOHAN: [s] Fight it… harder, Mr. Piccolo! PICCOLO: Oh! Thank Kami. GARLIC JR.: Oh good, good. Back to the choking, then. PICCOLO: Nah, it’s weird now. You made it weird, Gohan. Now I’m hungry. KRILLIN: Wait! Wait! WAIT! [Chomp]
Mmmm~! Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeee… Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…t! GOHAN: Please, Mr. Piccolo!
Don’t let the Black Water Mist control you! SPICE: No, no; w-we gave him cocaine. Did you not hear us? GOHAN: Wha…? SPICE: It’s a spice. VINEGAR: Spice of life. KAMI: [m] Mr. Popo leaves it lying around. I made French toast the other week,
and it was a bad time. Well at first, it was a really good time. Very productive day; but then… …it wasn’t. GARLIC JR.: I want some coke-toast. Alright, Piccolo! Make like an anti-vaxxer and murder this child! SPICE: Getting a little heavy-handed
with the social commentary, aren’t we? VINEGAR: Art should be controversial, man. PICCOLO: Actually, hold on.
Wanna see something gross? GARLIC JR.: I don’t really do gross. Oh God, guy, what are you–? Oh, oh no, no, no, don’t, I– I can’t– I can’t do gro–! I’m gonna throw up. I’m gonna throw up! BLAAAUUGH! SPICE: Hey, Vinny? I think the coke’s worn off– PICCOLO: More! I need more! SPICE: All right, man. Jesus! I-I’m sure there’s more around here somewhere– GAUGH! PICCOLO: NOOOO! MY COCAINE! GOHAN: Mr. Piccolo, I’ve had *one* intervention
today and *I will NOT* have another! VINEGAR: Ugh, okay, this place is killing my high. I’m out. [Sounds of Vinegar walking off
and a door opening and closing] GARLIC JR.: …Are you FUCKING me right now?! You know what? Fine! I’m a strong, independent demon
who don’t need no henchmen. [Mario powerup sound effect] (deeper voice) Imagine my shlong in this form! KRILLIN: Mmmm~! GOHAN: Oh God, he’s giant *and* immortal! There’s literally no way to defeat him! GARLIC JR.: That’s right, *fuckbois*! Now, behold…! The terrifying abyss that is the Dead Zone! For banishing me before, you shall
suffer that same gruesome fate forever. And… Wait… Did I…? I just did it again, didn’t I? I literally just did the exact same
thing that got me an L last time! What am I doing?! This is exactly what my therapist told me not to do! KAMI: We’re very proud of you for seeking help. GARLIC JR.: I’m doing it for me,
but I appreciate the support. Anyway…! Nobody move. Nobody do anything! I’m going to close it up, and then I’m going
to let my immortality wear you down and– HEAUGH! ALUCARD: Kept you waiting, huh? [Super Smash Bros Ultimate theme] GOHAN: Uhh! What did I just *watch*? I mean… dream? Wow. I certainly wouldn’t like and subscribe to that. Or hit that bell icon to stay updated with notifications. Definitely wouldn’t check out any Patreon either. TUTOR: NO SLEEPING DURING YOUR LESSONS! LEARN! LEARN! LEARN! LEARN! LEARN! LEARN! LEARN! LEARN! LEARN! LEARN! LEARN! LEARN! LEARN! LEARN! LEARN! LEARN! LEARN! LEARN! LEARN! LEARN! LEARN! LEARN! LEARN! LEARN! LEARN! LEARN! LEARN! LEARN!