Articles Blog


August 27, 2019

D: Sup. P: Hello, DanAndPhilGames- D: Stop, stop. P: What? D: You can’t put yourself under this pressure to think of a new thing. P: I was fine… D: LET’S STOP THIS BEFORE IT BECOMES A THING. P: Gang! P: Genies! P: Psychotic robot animals! P: Marshmallows! P: Eggs! P: Diesel engines! P: Humans and secret lizards! P: Freddos! P: Thunder clouds! P: Winged beasts! D: Hey, Dil…dos. P: No. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) D: YOU READY? P: So ready. D: Let’s go! D: …Updating steam. aaaaaaaaaoooooooh D: (As turtle thing) Ergh, get off my back- st- gah, argh, yar, kids these days… P: Here we go… *boom* D+P: *what* D+P: *Breakdowns* D:WHA-HAT?! P: That was amazing! D: WHA-HA-HA-HA-HAHT? D:Just run straight forward. P: Am I alright? D: Strafe left a bit… D:Yeh- NO NO NO HAHAHO P: …What? D: NO! P: What?! D: NO! A bit- I said a bit! P: Those? Yes. D: *laughing* D: A to jump over the things that are trying to kill you.. P: A! D: Down to duck the things that are trying to saw your head off. P: I got it, I got it… D: LIKE THAT LIKE THAT! D:You haven’t got it! P: GO DOWN! DOWN! D: Fu- we haven’t… D:Please– P: That can’t just be on our house. D: *laughing* LOOK AT IT P: Well, fine, that’s our roof. D: It’s an owl slide. D: Wai-wait, go, juh- D: Jump D: You got this- you got this! D: YEEEEEEESS!!!!!!!! P: Yay D: YES! Fucking… *Are you okay my boy* D: Real high five! P: Woo! P: Bring it on! Bring it on! Bring it on, you little weasel! P: WAHT D: Oh shi-hi- hi- Oh, crap. D: *Spamming X* P: Shut up! D: XXXXXX- Restroom! P: Yes! *Slam* P:I broke the.. Chair.. D: Phil you broke the slat! D:This is our sofa bed! *( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)* P: Stop- Defiling my corpse… D: This is the way of the 12-year old on Xbox Live, Phil. It’s tradition. D: You like that, you fricken noob? Yeah, yeah, your mum! YOUR MUM! YOUR MUMMM P: Look at us, we’re getting along with people! D: We’re basically the “Friends” cast. P:This is more friends than we’ve got in real life. D: … That’s actually true. P: If you’ve got a foot fetish, P: There you go. D: Don’t invite them D: Phil, you just invited them!
P: I’m not, I’m just saying it’s going to happen P: I’ve gotten E-mails from people asking for photos of my feet for £76. P: I would’ve gone for 75, personally.. P: Oh, fall in love with this guy. D: Quickly, quickly, quickly, um P: Oh *What hold up* *Illuminati* *Wot m8* *Mlg m8 get rekt* *According to all known laws
of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don’t care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let’s shake it up a little.* D: These cameras are crap. P: I’m scared D: I mean, really, how much would it cost for them to invest in a new camera these days, like £5? AHHHHH *Dan falls off of his chair* (╯°□°)╯︵( .o.) P: Oh my god.! P: Are you okay *laughs*? D: Uhh I’m fine P: *Laughing* D: Oh god D: I spilt coffee P: Wait D: no no no NO Don’t capture my shame! P: I have to capture the shame! D: I’m fine P: Wait, the shame *laughing* P: What have you done? D: Library? D: Hello *HUGE SCARY NOISE*
AHHHHHH AHHHHAH AHHHHH D: AHHHH AHHHA AHAHAHAHAHAHAH D: AHHHHH D: Oh shh!ttt sh!t sh!t sh!t sh!t sh!t D: Get back in the locker, ya frickin- D: *Moment of intense rave* *Insert Darude Sandstorm* *Listen to Dan’s heavy breathing in bed and let your imagination flow* D: NO NO NO AHHHHH NOOO D: Cluckin run run run run run D: As fast as you can D: You can’t catch me cause im gonna fucckkkkeeennnnn- P: Slendyyy D: Don’t tempt him P: Sleeeeeeeeeendyy *Girly scream* D: AHHHHH SOMETHINGS HAPPENING SOMETHINGS HAPPENING
P: AHHHHHHH D: RUn, run run D: ffff- I hate you D: I haTE you
P: I’m sorry for tempting him D: ffffffffffffffffff P: I will not sing the slendy song ever again.. D: FFFFFFFFF D: Oh god oh sh!tting D: Down my spine, SH!TTING DOWN MY NECK D: *Singing* Trees, trees, trees to my left, trees, trees, trees to my right… D: Trees, trees, trees to my back… AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA D: NO! NO! NO why, why always P: Go away…. D: I can hear the music box. Quickly, go charge the music box.. D: Is it too late? P: I don’t know… D: Go charge it, go- *”manly scream”* P: Hahaha… P: He’s fine. D: We have a fine Sim! D:Yess… P: Yay- OHMAHGAHD D: DON’T DO THAT! (Squak) P: NOO! Oh… P: Ohh… no, P: …We just lost a baby… *Let his soul live in peace* *Rip Harambe* *Being badger is suffering* *Lol despair* *Subscribe to Falcon Lover* D: Right. P: Focus. P: Full focus. D: Let’s tone down the bants, for one attempt.. P: We should make a song called ‘Tone Down The Bants’ Both: Tone down the bants, tone down the bants.. D: Please don’t hate us. P: I just dribbled on myself. P: That’s a pretty big censored bar we’ve got going… D: COME ON PHIL! P: Shia Labeouf. P: Alright. D: Shia Labeouf D: You can do this- P: I got it, I got it… smooth.. D: Get- Oh we missed the G. P: Oh no! We need the G. P: We need the G. D: Phil… Didn’t hit the G spot. P: I didn’t D: This will never not feel perverted P: I know. D: I know it’s all you sick people watch these videos for, but still… *Seductive music* *Bring in the whisks because it’s about to get steamy 😉 *Intense genital scrubbing* *Phil the smol bean is uncomfortable* D: Check the bin… The trash can is empty. D: Well there go all of my hopes, dreams, and expectations… P: (Warped Unicorn voice) Hello my name is Phil and I’m feeling very… FRIGHTENED! I don’t like it! D+P: *Laugh* D: WHAT THE HELL D: Let’s do push-ups now! D: DEW IT M8 *Push up montage* P: How many have you done? P: Three? P: I don’t think chair sit-ups are an actual thing… D: *Muffled* P: Four? P: Oh… D: *Laugh* P: Four and collapse. D: I can literally do five push-ups. That’s what this meant. *Creepy clown music* D: Stop that right now… D: No no no no D: Omgah how do I make it stop- HOW DO I MAKE IT – FOOTBALLS D:No no oh my god D: That’s me and you trying to do boxing exercises. P: I’d be good.. P: *Shadow boxing* P: Bop you in the schnazz D: FIST THE SHEEP! P: Oh it doesn’t like it- D: It’s like, ‘I fisted a sheep and it hated it…’ [Tune of Katy Perry’s I Kissed A girl] D: It’s- okay. P: That is not going to be released on ITunes any time soon. D: I think we’ve all seen a farmer fist a cow before. P: I have! P: He’s promoted! *clap* Yes! P: …Fist bump! *Smack* High five! *Smack* D: *Laugh* Whatever that was… YEAH! P: What is that though? D: It’s a thing, it’s one of the things, look… P: It’s Shrek with jeans on. D: Keep the cooking channel on and it just slowly improves his life. D: Maybe that’s what it would be like for all of us- P:Yeah. D: -If we spent half our time watching educational things and not just dumb entertainment on the internet. P: Let’s fight one. *Screech* D: OH CLUCKING HELL it’s like Slender or something Jesus Christ P: You scared me more than the- *inaudible* D: FLUFF! FLUFF! Fluff! P: There is a radish right here! *Sassy music* P: Alrite forget it you don’t need the radish D: We just know that DilCakes isn’t a thing. P: You can’t go through the tunnel! *Don’t* *TriGgeReD DaNIel P: As in… The tunnel of friendship! D: Are you kidding me? -_- D: Are you actually kidding me? P: I don’t know– D: I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry, on his behalf! P: It’s a koosh. D: It’s an an-an-anime D: It’s a what? P: It’s a koosh. You don’t know what a koosh is? P: You need to get a koosh in your life. P: AA D: What the hell is a koosh? What are you on about? D: You want me to blow in a reindeer’s A-Hole? -_- P: Yes P: Go D: FWOO P: *Adorable laugh* P: Alright, do everything right this time. D:OH MY GOD oh yeah way to brace us for that- D:Jesus on a frickin’ tricycle P: I’m obsessed with light, if I had a house I would just make every window glass… P: What? I MEAN- D: *Laugh* P: Every wall! P: Every wall or window. P: Dil- D: *Laugh* P: Five second rule. P: I’m so much better than okay! P: I keep hitting you with the remote- D: Phil, just please stop injuring me, okay? P: What’s Susan 2 doing? D: She’s- FREAKING OUT AGAIN! D: SUSAN! Susan, what’s wrong with you?? P: This is a vortex! D: Oh it’s on fast forward P: She’s covered in bees! D: GET THEM OFF ME! GET EM OFF ME! D:There! P: Yeah! *Confusion* *We need to call in Sherlock* P: Where did it go.. P: I don’t know what happened… D: um, Um, UM D: WHERE DID IT GO D: Don’t ask us to follow you and then *inaudible* P: Yeah. D: Bloody… P: AA! D: Really? Really? P: Well it just scared me! D:Oh that scared you, did it? P: I was always scared of that purple thing at McDonald’s. It looked the same as that. *Mlg bottle flip 360 dank* D: (Singsong voice) Dancing king.. *balloon pop* *yells* gu- SWEET HONEY PLAIF- Jesus christ! D: Hey how you doing? P: /Lick D: *Sensual noises* P: Stop it! No! D: Someone out there is enjoying that. D: What the hell are you doing?? Both: What are you doing? D: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! GO AWAY D: What are you doing?? P: What’s happening? D: Stop! P: Go away D: Oh my god she’s stalking us, what does she want? P: We definitely have a stalker this is an issue. P: Let’s see what this *inaudible* is D: What are you doing?! Leave us alone! P: I’m gonna totally win this… beast… D: …Can’t handle Phil’s fighting talk I’M GONNA TOTALLY WIN THIS *Zerpanooch* Both: Serpanooch D: OH who just finished the race with their face? P: I’m rubbish on 150cc. It’s too fast. D: Oh blame the speed. P: It’s too fast- D: Blame the speed i’m going TUU FAEEST P: *Laugh* What is that face… D: It’s the face of I won. P: Oh my god! D: What? P: Melapples! D: WHAT THE *Bleep* P: Why is it back? D: WHAT THE *Bleep* D: Are you f*bleep*ing kidding me? P: After all of that search! D: I’m gonna bleep that P: I did not put it out there just now. D: WHERE DID IT COME FROM P: Pleez… pleez… D: no no NO NO NO P: Yes! P: I can’t believe I won! D: FLUFF YOU Mario Kart and your STUPID, SH!TTY random items D: Fffflufking *sound* P: You *inaudible* P: Miss Curtain… Jeans. *Time lapse* D: Up up up down OH MY GOD *Falling over* Both: *Inaudible* D: So, uh, needless to say that was an F… P: Oh my god… D: What? P: Look who’s at the door… *Ear rape* D: NO! P: Stop it… D: Cluck off! P: At least call first… D: I’m not censoring that one. P: Where does she live Both: UUUUUH D: She’s like “Whoa! I’ve totally ruined this marshmallow!” D: And he’s like “Heyy I’ll still eat it I’ll still eat it good” P: You can tell I mean look at that face D: WHAT THE *Bleep* AAA BOB LOOK OUT D: Oh wait no it’s bipedal D: It’s talking about Hoovers P: It’s a human bear. D:Ohhhhhkay P: It’s alright D: And the bear’s like, “CARS” D: You got… Stampy *laugh* P: I’m sorry Dan… D: Wow, okay time to leave… P: Forget Dan and Phil it’s Stampy and Phil now P: Should we get some fruit? A guitar! *Dan makes realization* D: There’s a moth P: Don’t kill the moth… D=*Intense listening* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA D: WHAT THE DUCK D: WHAT THE DUCK D: Oh my god look at that face “I’m coming *( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)* I’m coming for you Eliza, AAA” P: Check the bed D: Oh god- Both:AAAAAAA P: I think that’s my fault because we probably should have checked- *Laugh* D: I’m fine, nononono, I’ve got it P: Are you alright? D: I’ve got it D: So today was the first anniversary of DanandPhilGames D: So we decided to do the obvious YouTube gamer thing and D: Make an epic montage of some of our favorite funny moments. P: There were way too many to fit into one video. D: The way you pulled D: Because there’s just been so many disasters since we started this channel. P: Yeah. So I hope you guys enjoyed it. P: I bought this candle to commemorate the occasion D: Don’t know where you pulled that out from UHH D: What do you want us to do with this candle, Phil? P: I want you to hold it, D: Right, P: And we are going to light it and everyone’s going to blow it out at the same time. D: Uh Phil plus fire why am I sca-jesus D: Get that away from my face P: Here we go D: So what are we doing? P: To celebrate our first birthday I want everyone to blow on their screens at the same time in 3 2 1 *Blow* P: Happy birthday DanandPhilGames!! D:I think we just got candle wax all over the lens. P: Oops. D: Well I’m going to use that as an excuse to eat some cake, dunno about you P: If this is the first time you’ve seen one of our videos then you can click down below to subscribe P: For more funny moments like these D: And we just want to say thank you for everyone that has subscribed D: And watches our videos and leaves those comments down below D: You know we already think you’re the best audience on the internet P: Here’s to another year of fails, rage, accidental innuendos and caring more about a sim’s life than our own. D: Too true Phil D: Too true. Both: Bye!

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  1. Phil: Slendy~

    Dan: (*ticked off*) Don't tempt him…

    Phil: Sleeendy~

    Slendy appears


    ( all while Phil shrinks and panics in the background )

    Phil: I'm sorry! I'm sorry for tempting him!!


    THIS IS MORE SCARIER THAN GRANNY! (HORRIFYING) ft. Messyourself! (DON'T PLAY THIS GAME) (TERRIFYING) (THE MOST SCARIEST GAME IN THE WORLD) (I NEARLY CRIED) [and I thought granny was the most scariest game ever]

  3. SOmeone I love might be dead and I'm never really happy anymore and somehow these two made me really laugh again. Thank you

  4. 2:44 I'm not laughing cause he fell. I'm laughing cause he knew he wouldn't make it, but he still tried to hold on to something.

  5. I've watched this video so many times I start laughing before the funny part actually happens. for example, I started laughing before Phil said: "I'm obsessed with light, if I had a house, I'd make every window glass."

  6. Dan's "what 5 pounds?" Then instant terror and falling is so iconic to me now and phil protecting the badgers too! Iconic lords

  7. i will never stop laughing at phill saying a minecraft zombie is shriek with jeans, that is so fkin funny

  8. Dan: You won't be able to think of a new word for the viewers every time
    Phil "the most creative human on the planet" Lester:

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