Cricket crisis – The Feed
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Cricket crisis – The Feed

September 23, 2019


Good evening, Australian cricket is deeper in crisis tonight The deepening crisis in Australian cricket has claimed its first high-profile victim. Breaking news in the crisis in Australian cricket No, no, no, no, no Cricket in this country at the moment is in crisis Crisis Crisis CRISIS Oh, God I need everyone on this story. I don’t wanna hear about Aleppo. I don’t wanna hear about Trump. This is a cricket crisis! All of these screens should be cricket. How many times do I have to say it? Yes, Mr. Prime Minister, we’d be thrilled to have you on the sho – what the heel Mark? It’s a cricket crisis! Wyatt Roy’s joined ISIS? Doesn’t matter, cricket is in crisis. It’s not that bad bro Pat, it’s been ages since Australia was ranked number 1 It’s hard to believe that only a couple of months ago we were ranked number 1 in the world. Ages So, we’ll open tonight’s news with the recommencement of air strikes on Aleppo And then Trump’s newest appointments No no no look guys, I’m going to need you to focus on the cricket crisis It can’t be as important as airstrikes in Aleppo Listen here news boy, they were all out for 85 Really? Let’s drop the bulletin and we’ll go straight into that It’s the only sensible thing to do Fellow journalists Do you know what this is? It’s a hat This isn’t a hat This is Australia in hat-form And if you care about this country, and you care about your responsibility as an Australian journalist you’re going to cover cricket to the exclusion of all else Otherwise, Don Bradman died at Gallipoli for nothing Catastrophic climate change may be important But I think we can all agree that all out for 85 is the greatest moral challenge of our time

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