Now to watch some really abysmal archery How did he miss from there! He missed to the right, you notice, where he hit that big sack, but never mind, he gets another go and.. now wait a minute! That is quite clearly just a bit of paper or something glued to one side of the arrow thus forming two flights, but to stabilise an arrow in 3-dimensional space, you need a minimum of 3 flights. [sigh] honestly… Oh, and look at the way he’s holding that bow with that pinch grip in his right hand. Oh, that’s painful. Oh, he missed to the left that time! Oh and the sack has moved across, you’ll notice. That’s quite prescient of them, isn’t it, to move it there, knowing that he was going to miss in that direction. Exposition dialogue. – because he wants you to take a message – to the new king Menelaus. – Younger brother of high king Agamemnon – of Mycenae. – High king? Some sort of supreme ruler is he? – That’s right – And now he is talking war against Troy. – Why? Yeah, why? – Because we control access to the silks – and spices of Byzantium. Ha! – What? Well, there isn’t a silk trade yet, that won’t be established for centuries, and there isn’t a Byzantium either. – Where is he now? This high king of theirs? Now, we are about to see him shoot sideways because, I don’t know, it’s meant to be cooler or something, and maybe it’s a gag. Very metallic clunk. Nerrrr. Now we’re going to get another look at the bow and you’ll see just how ridiculously deep it is. Look, even when he’s not drawing it back it’s so bent that his arms are only long enough to bend it just a little bit more. That is a very inefficient bow. Now, I put this one down to Saving Private Ryan. People seem to have this idea that landings should be opposed. One reason is that you get to kill large numbers of people, and that apparently is what good action is, but it is a rather ridiculous thing with all these men jumping into the water in all their kit, just like they did in Saving Private Ryan. Well, why would they do this? Why would they make an opposed landing? Almost no landings throughout history, in any period, were opposed. Oh, you see, they’ve got no noseguards there so they must be major characters. To oppose a landing today you just need a couple of machine guns and you can do an army quite a lot of harm, but back in those days, you needed a big army to stop a big army. And if a big army was in position to stop a big army, then the invading army would just land somewhere else and march across. Now, these incredibly low-poundage bows JUST … in fact some of the arrows don’t actually make it out of the frame, but most of them JUST make it out of frame. I’ll slow some down for you, but uhm.. Oh! Wow – can you imagine the power of a bow to knock a man off his feet from 400 yards? Anyway, no-one is holding the shield in front of him, you’ll notice, I suppose that the CGI.. another man down.. that CGI arrows are just not threatening enough. HOLD YOUR SHIELD IN FRONT OF YOU, SOMEONE! Come on, you are being shot at! I know they are only CGI but you could pretend, couldn’t you? Oh… fire arrows. I’m going to have to make another video about these soon. In summary: no, and, just no. Right. Let’s see if they’ve learned anything about the sh… no, no they still haven’t hold your shields in front of you, you’re being felled with lots of arrows. The shields are there for your protection. Oh, look at these.. I’m gonna slow it right down ooh, some of those arrows just limped out of the shot but OH MY GOODNESS, everyone a coconut when they HIT, what POWER they have. Oh, that one actually FELL onto him and killed him. WOW look at that! Knocked off his feet! Incredible power… Who would have guessed it? That guy would have been living now if he just held his shield properly. – Archers! A single word from Priam and all these archers are summoned. They were just waiting for him. They were to do nothing unless he said the magic word. Let’s hope he doesn’t tell them to “fire”. Tell them to “shoot”. Please… – FIRE! Oh dear… So, what’s the target? Well, it’s this massed melee in front involving his own men and those of the enemy. So he’s shooting lots of his own men. But it’s okay, it’s in a movie and that’s standard, so everyone just pairs off in duels There’s no front line. Let’s just see how many men we can kill as quickly as possible. Do you know what? I’ve had enough.. That was quite a nice shot there on the ladder Oh, good writhing! Right, now, I’m not going to slow the footage down this time, this is full speed, I assure you. I want you to look at this arrow here. And try to ignore, if you can, this funny fiery thing on the right. Twang… twang… Yep, it just falls into his eye. Now, a very good order from Odysseus now. – Retreat from the archers! Yeah, retreat from the archers, but not from anyone else? But look how cooperative everyone is! Everyone just stops fighting, and just breaks apart. No blows are exchanged. Amazing. – The Greeks have sailed. – Can it be possible? Yes, can it be that they have summoned him urgently, and yet not given him any clue as to why? – Search their camp. Now, the legends say that the Greeks made a really good job of pretending to sail away, but it seems they’ve abandoned all their stuff here. A.. a cauldron! They are really expensive! One of the most expensive, if not the most expensive things a household would own would be its cauldron Now this eagle-eyed boy… er… Will he spot the thing? He’s looking for it. Oh, oh! I think he’s seen it! Yep, just five paces in front of him is a… What do you think it’s going to be? A sixty-foot tall wooden horse. Well, I say “wooden”, but it is clad in bronze. And not just a small amount of bronze. Oh, no. That’s a HUGE amount of bronze. Look how thick the slabs are. There’s a bit around the front, there. I don’t know if a foundry existed at that time, capable of making a single piece of bronze that big. I now know why the Trojans brought in the wooden horse. It’s because, well, there was enough bronze on it to pay for the war. That’s a fortune in bronze there. A few jump cuts to get them forward. Just listen to this English dialogue. They’re hamming it up a bit, but to be fair, it is very difficult to react realistically to a big Sixty-foot… nothing. – The Aegeans are not to be trusted, – nor their gifts. No, sorry, the ‘Aegean’, that’s the sea off the coast of Troy, where you are now. The ‘Achaeans’ on the other hand, they are the people who besieged Troy, according to Homer. See also ‘Argives’ and ‘Danaans’. – The Aegeans are not to be trusted, – nor their gifts Even prepared, Priam has a single word that he needs to speak, and this will summon archers from nowhere who will then test any wooden sculptures in the area for occupants. – Archers. Bows don’t creak! Those are the slowest arrows I’ve ever known. I did the calculations, and they were going at 15 feet per second, those arrows. My bow, which is not very powerful, does about 170… – Noble king, this is a day of great sadness for you. Yeah, not just you, mate.