Clash-A-Rama! The Series: Ballad of the Barbarian
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Clash-A-Rama! The Series: Ballad of the Barbarian

August 19, 2019

– I want a wing!
– I’m the hungriest! Guys, you have to be patient. It’s… Aaaah! Aww, Barry! Why? Sorry, I like it well done, yeah. I think that’s about it, and, uh… Congratulations.
You’re now Golem and wife. Whoa, this just got weird. So… Do I get the building permit? You can’t remodel a level 2 Laboratory
into a level 7 Wizard Tower. How about a level 6 one? Why must two be followed by three?
This town could think outside the box! How about Archer Towers with a room
to elevate you up it instead of stairs? How about Freeze Spell lockers,
so that I don’t hold them in my hands? Let’s strike for a better Town Hall! Who’s with me? OK, I hear you loud and clear. I’m gonna upgrade
this whole darn place immediately! What the…? That’s as close as
we get to immediately. Yeah! We are awesome! Amazing battle! Three stars!
Put ’em up, boys! My sword! I lost my sword!
Oh no, it’s my best friend… I can’t live without my sword!
What am I gonna do? Calm down, buddy.
You probably left it on the battlefield. Ooh… I’m gonna go look. I gotta find… my sword! Excuse me, I’ve lost my sword.
Any chance you’ve seen it lying around? ‘Bout yay big, the most beautiful metal
a Barbarian’s ever seen? All I’ve seen here is stuff
that makes great soup. Would some great soup interest you? Check out that rubble.
There’s all kinds of sharp stuff there. Nothing good for soup though. Ah, a replacement sword.
Interesting… Ooh, sharp piece of wood! –En Garde!
– Speak English! Ah, who am I kidding?
My sword is gone forever! A Barbarian without a sword is just a… Just a… I don’t even know!I was a proud BarbarianNow I don’t know what I amA trusty sword my identity madeIs life worth living without a blade?I’m like a Minion who’s lost his hordeWhat’s a Barbarian without a…That’s enough of that. Doc, how do you cure a Barbarian
who’s lost his sword? As simple as changing you into someone
who doesn’t need a sword. Hold still… Heeeyahh! Ah, I don’t know.
Something feels off. Not a deciduous type of guy.
Got it… Heeeyahh! Much better, no? Now I see you, and I don’t think
“Hey, where’s that Builder’s Hut sword?” Oh, geez, I don’t know. You got anything with two feet,
and a place to wear a belt? Okeydoke… Heeeyahh! – What is this?
– I warned you there were risks. This is horrible.
I’ll be the tree. Take me back to being a tree.
I look like an idiot. Can’t do that.
I’m a Wizard, not a magician. Ahhh… That flat Barbarian
should have been me. What the heck are you? I don’t know what I am anymore. So, you’re taking suggestions?
You got a staff… You’re a Witch! – Summon something!
– Huh? You know, bring the bones out! I have children?
I’ve always wanted to have kids! Thank you. I feel much better. Kids, attack the nice gentleman. Found your sword. My sword! Thank you! But now I am a Witch
with a Barbarian sword. I’ve got a soup for that.Once again a BarbarianI love being what I amThat’s enough of that. Stop! It is normal
to wait for upgrades. Don’t get angry.
That just hurts you. She’s right!
I hate anger so much!Occupied!I was reading that. Everyone, instead of lashing out,
embrace the wonders around you. Builder, rather than
pounding on that tree, give it a big hug. I feel better. I wanna feel better.
Gimme some of that. I can’t believe I’m finally here. Today’s the day my son
becomes a Hooooog Riiiider! And to think this used to be
my happy place. This is a big moment,
like when your mohawk grew in. Dad, stop, you’re embarrassing me! Sorry, son. I’m just so excited
about teaching you to drive! Ready to take the wheel? It’s not a wheel, dad! It’s a rope!
I know what I’m doing. Great, now I got to reset those! Slow down now. Oh! Watch out! – Sorry!
– You’re making me nervous! I’m calm, I’m calm, I’m… No, no, no!
You’re about to make us dead! – Dad, stop!
– Stop what? Saving our lives? – Get off my back!
– OK, fine! Show me how it’s done, son! Let’s fire up this pig! No, no! Not arrows! Not arrows! We won’t make it! Yes, we are! Okay, let’s get
this gold mine out of here. Oh, no! Don’t get up!
I can get it myself! Good. Good. We’ve banished
all anger and violence. Breathe in peace
and tranquility and love. You’re all doing beautifully,
enlightened ones. Be proud of yourselves. You’re bringing
peace to this village forever! Attack! We’re being attacked! Come on, grab your weapons! This is real!
We’ll be wiped out! Wake up! There’s time for peace
and time for violence. I guess most of the time
it should be violence. Don’t worry.
I’ve got a soup for this. Thank you! Why aren’t they fighting? It’s a thin broth.
It takes three hours to kick in. It’s yours, son.
The keys don’t do anything. Thanks, dad. Sure, son.
Ready for your brand new hog? Now, at sunset, your hog
is gonna think it’s bedtime… – I know.
– …so wake him up often with a shout! Well, you didn’t know,
or you would have done it! How’s the handle? Well, like a… dream!

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