CANDY CRUSH SAGA IS EVIL
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CANDY CRUSH SAGA IS EVIL

August 29, 2019


[Mario]: Fafa! Look at this new computer I got for “Let’s play Candy Crush!” [Fafa]: Mario, don’t play that game. It’s not just candy. It’s evil! Evil candy! [Mario]: That’s stupid! I’m playing it. {GUNSHOT} Oh my God! [Fafa]: You know how old people say that video games are bad for you? Well this game actually is! It’s addictive, evil, crushy candy. [Mario]: But… Candy! [Fafa]: ‘Candy Crush Saga’ is a casual, low-commitment, evil puzzle game. It’s kind of like Tetris, or those gem breaking games. [Mario]: Ooh, I love those games! [Fafa]: Candy crush can be played on mobile devices or on Facebook. Which means while you’re wasting time on Facebook, you’ll waste even more time playing Candy Crush. [Mario]: Sounds good. I’m in. [Fafa]: No seriously, don’t do it! [Mario]: Okay. It says I have to get 300 points. [Fafa]: You should seriously stop. [Mario]: Be quiet! I have to concentrate on my candies. [Fafa]: Oh man. [Mario]: Okay, yellow goes with yellow… [Fafa]: I can’t watch this… [Mario]: It said I’m wonderful! Why thank you, Mr Candy Crush. Sorry for putting such a beat-down on your level 1! Well, I must say I find the music very relaxing, and I have just beaten level 19! How long have I been playing? [Fafa]: Uh… Seven hours. [Mario]: What?! [Fafa]: You can waste all day listening to the soothing sounds of Candy Crush. [Game]: Tasty! [Mario]: Whoo, that voice is so pleasant! Is that Barry White? [Fafa]: But that’s not even the worst part. It’s a social game, too! It’ll spread itself to your friends. [Mario]: Okay, it says I need tickets to cross this lake of lemonade, what the hell is going on?! [Fafa]: It wants you to ask your friends for help. [Mario]: What?! [Fafa]: When you run out of lives, or need to get to higher levels Candy Crush makes you ask your friends for help. [Mario]: But… I do not want anyone to know I am playing this terrible game! [Fafa]: Well, you could pay to get to the next level. [Mario]: Pay?! [Fafa]: Yeah. Give Facebook your credit card number, ‘cuz that’s always a good idea. [Mario]: Huh. [Fafa]:There will come a time when the nice Candy Crush carnival barker you thought was your friend will come and ask you for money. [Mario] Curse you level 94, with your licorice prison cells and caustic chocolate! I have been stuck here for three weeks! Wait, what’s this? [Mario]: Fafa, where do we keep the credit cards?! [Fafa]: No! [Mario]: Oh, please! I need to buy magic paintbrush and extra lives and I can send jelly boosters to all of my friends! [Fafa]: You sound like a crazy person! [Mario]: When I shut my eyes, all I see is candy. I think I need help! [Fafa]: Harmless, you say? Just candy, you say? No. Candy Crush wants one thing. Your brain. [Mario]: That is stupid! [Fafa]: The following is the natural progression of a Candy Crush player. If you have a weak stomach, please, look away. Remember we’re doing this so you don’t have to. [Mario]: I don’t get it. This game is stupid! [Game]: Tasty! [Mario]: Okay, not so bad. [Game]: Delicious! [Mario]: I made a candy bomb! Woo-hoo! [Game]: Addictive! [Mario]: Impossible! I hate this! So stupid! I quit you, Candy Crush! [Game]: Keep playing! [Mario]: Okay, just one more game. [Game]: Mmm. Gimmie your soul… [Mario]: Candy… So much Candy… [Fafa]: We’re not saying that it’s not fun. [Mario]: It is! [Fafa]: we’re just saying that it’s evil! [Mario] It is! [Fafa]: Wait a minute. I thought you were hooked on Candy Crush. I’m not doing that anymore. I’m going to find something more productive to do with my time! [Fafa]: Good for you! [Mario]: What is smack?

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  3. I used to love playing Candy Crush.
    Then I got to level 1000 and after that I kinda got bored with it :/
    No matter what anyone else says though, personally, I enjoyned the ride to level 1000 a lot. It was a fun game overall and I miss it when it was still fresh to me.

    Sometimes I get the urge to go back and try it again. Maybe from level 1000 to whichever level is the last one at the time of this date (I am assuming they are around level 1500?)

  4. My parents are starting to play this game nonstop nowadays. Thank god I’m not the only one who admitted this game is evil.

  5. My mom is addicted to the game and she "loves me so much" that she has never got me a phone so every morning she nabs the phone out of my hand moments later I ask politely can I have the phone back but she screams NO

  6. I hate this game. Its for morons that have to be entertained all the time. I think it looks boaring and the music sucks. It has no soul. The logo looks sinister and even that voice is sinister.

  7. Hey, CCS isn’t evil. THOSE CRAPPY COPIES ARE.
    …except Monster Busters and Cookie Jam. I like ‘em.

  8. 2012- Candy crush fever

    2018- Fornite = Gaming Disorder = Death = Never seeing your family cause you havent got off the PC for a week

    I think 2012 needs to come back

  9. My freaking aunt is on level 3318 and has not spent a single cent. I swear it's real. Also she been paying for 4 years

  10. Giving Facebook your credit card number is a good idea!
    As Mark Zuckerberg famously stated, “We do not sell data to advertisers.”

  11. i agree. candy crush sure is bad. however, you will never complete the entire game. why? it has more than eighteen-hundred levels. so, you definitely won't complete the entire game.

  12. About Three years ago, this was the first ever video I watched of Glove And Boots. Still the coolest one haha.

  13. I have heard about Candy Crush being almost just as addictive as porn. If so a lot of people are doomed.

  14. Hashtag for 10000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000million

  15. Full disclosure: Glove and Boots is more addictive than Candy Crush. But I'M not addicted. No. I can quit any time I WANT to. I just don't WANT to.

  16. I just downloaded it to my mom's phone because she likes that kind of games… Now I feel a little guilty 😂 I do recommend Cut the Rope, it's a great brain trainer 😊 It helps with problem solving and the character acts super cute ❤

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