Baldi’s Basics FULL GAME
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Baldi’s Basics FULL GAME

August 25, 2019

Hello, everybody! My name is Markiplier, and welcome to Baldi’s Basics in Education and Learning. Now, this game was highly, highly, HIGHLY recommended by you guys. You said that I absolutely had to play this game. And if you clicked on this and you’ve never seen this game before in your life. Get ready. Well, I mean, I actually don’t know what’s going on inside, but I know there’s more than meets the eye! (reading controls)
WASD, mouse, left click, right click, scroll wheel, shift, run (watch your stamina!), spacebar – look behind you and wave goodbye to your friends. I- Haha, I don’t like that! The story! Everybody listen close. “Oh noes! School is out, but your friend has a problem! He left all his noteboos in high school but doesn’t have time to go get them, because if he do, he’ll be late for eating practice. To help him out, you have to go back in the school and find all 7 of his notebooks for him. It won’t be easy, though! Baldi loves challenging his students with fun trivia problems whenever he can! Each time you find a notebook, you’ll have to answer some questions. Answer all three correctly, and you will earn a prize! Find all 7 notebooks, and then exit to school, to win!” All right, that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. It’s like Slenderman! But with the horrible teacher that wants to quiz you to death. Okay, lets do this. Eugh! (Baldi)
Oh! Hi! Welcome to my schoolhouse! (Markiplier)
Alright. Hello, Baldi! Nothing seems to be out of the ordinary. Something tells me I probably should have, you know, upped the sensitivity- Ooh, you are.. horrifying. Eugh, okay? Sorry, ‘teach, I didn’t expect to just go through you. All right, school rules! “When you follow the school rules: No running, no entering faculty, no eating, no drinking, no escaping detention, no fourth wall breaks.” Oh, hi. (nervous laughter) Oh, I don’t like the way you follow me all DOOM-style. Also, I don’t know what to uh- when the music- (Baldi)
You need to collect two notebooks before you can use these doors! (Markiplier)
Thank you. Why is this your school? That doesn’t make any sense. Okay. H O O H A A H O O Haaa? Hooo? Haa. Hoo. Math! More math. Math, math, math. (Baldi)
Now it’s time for everybody’s favorite subject.. ..math! (Mark)
Yeah? (Baldi)
Answer the three questions correctly and you might get something special! Just type the correct answer into the empty box! Press the enter key on your keyboard when you think you have the right answer! Problem 1: two plus four (Mark)
equals.. IT’S SIX, I KNOW IT’S SIX! I know that. (Baldi)
Great job! That’s right! Problem 2: (Mark)
Huh? (Baldi)
one plus six equals.. (Mark)
Okay, Baldi! I think I got this one! IT’S A SEVEN. (Baldi)
I can’t believe it! You’re incredible! –Yay! Problem 3: (Mark)
It’s like math blaster! — six plus seven equals.. It’s like Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing! (Baldi)
You’re doing fantaaaastic! (Mark)
Thank you.. Did I win? Did I get my friends notebook? And why do I have to do that? [Baldi]
Come here and get your prize! A shiny quarter! I don’t know if I- Just click on it with the left mouse button to pick it up. Then, when you find something you can use it on, right-click on the object with the quarter selected. Okay, Baldi! That’s how you use items, you know! Alright, Baldi! Thank You, Baldi! I’ll be on my way, Baldi. Oh. All right. Sure. Sorry, ran out of time to add more subjects. Is it all math then? Is it just math? “Now it’s time for everybody’s favorite subject, M A T H Answer the three questions correctly, and you might get something special!” Eugh.. “Just type the correct answer into the empty box. Press the enter key on your keyboard when you think you have the right answer.” “Problem 1: 8+9=?” Seventeen! “You’re doing fanta-” Three! “I can’t believe it!” Oh.. “You’re incredible!” “Problem 3: OoOoOH! plus times equals?” ZERO? Uh-oh.. Uh.. Baldi- Ba- Baldi? Baldi? Baldi? Whose ass are you slapping over there? Eugh Oh.. Oh no.. Oh. Oh.. Uh-oh.. AH! Oh, hi. Okay. Alright. What. Hey. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Hey. Oh, my ass is not prepared for that kind of- AAHHH! “No running in the halls! 15 seconds’ detention for you.” Oh no. Oooh no. “When will you learn?” I-I don’t know where you went- Okay! Alright then! Uh! Audiba! UH. MM. UH. MM. Okay. Alright, oh, he’s a- he’s a slappin’. He’s a slappy slapper. Uh-oh. I might be in trouble. HOHkay, alrighty then. Hoh! Uh, okay. One more slap and now I’m gonna go around. SLAP! BUGH. GEEHEE Okay, all right. Slappity, slappity. Slappity, slappity. Okay, all right here comes another one, okay Okay – huh 12 Oh Zero got it. “I hear every door you open” That’s fine. It is like Slendy man, it is like slendy man Who’s whistling? “HEEHEEHEEHEEHEE! PLAY WITH ME! READY? GO!” JUMP ROPE, why did what is that a spyglass? What hell happened to me? Oh, all right “Welcome to Baldi’s Basics in Education and Learning! That’s Me!” hahahaha Okay, all right Welcome how about what happens if I- zero? Uh Oh He didn’t like that Zero. Zero. “I get angrier or for every problem you get wrong.” Uh Oh… (quietly)
Oooooh Oh no, he’s already unhappy with me. Okay. All right, it’s fine. It’s fine If I could just get around these goddamn things, okay three negative four zero Okay. Well, this is a problem hmm Okay, is he gonna come this way, is he gonna mmm don’t spank my rump oh he’s angry oh he’s (Screams of horror) I- I got stuck on uh nuh oh I got stook Got stuck. Okay. All right Baldi. Okay. Alright baldi just go Yeah, I think the hall monitor was for running in the halls, and I don’t I don’t want to run in the halls Ooh, and that’s why I can look behind me with your spacebar to kiss my ass. Good-bye Okay there’s another one Just gonna Oooh “GOTTA SWEEP SWEEP SWEEP” I’m sorry I did’nt even- HAaa “I WANNA PLAY WITH SOMEONE!” HEEeey I don’t want- “READY? GO!” Okay Ooh boy I’m- I’m sorry “OOPS! YOU MESSED UP!” Uh ooh “WHOA! THAT’S GREAT! LET’S PLAY AGAIN, some OOkay thank you time soooonnn……” Alright I dont know if I’m supposed to follow you or not but I’mma try not to Okay, can I get it there’s another notebook “Homestar Runner reference” okay. This is uh 13 that’s 11 thats uhh zero, okay Lets go lets go lets go! We gotta go. We only got three of seven. This is gonna be loud OOh! Oh boy use it Hey- OOOh How close is he? How close is he? How close is he to spanking my ass? Oh he was far Ah I was gonna be fine. Okay, you you you slappy piece of shit. All right, run around the Rosie- Pocket full of posy and I’m out. Okay, if I just don’t run I should be fine. Look behind me. Oh, that’s not good. Okay It’s fine. Yeah. All right going into a new area “school faculty only.” Maybe I should go in here “LET’S PLAY” MMMM let’s not. Okay I got some faculty key “No entering school faculty only rooms in the hall!” Alright. Well, thank you for teleporting me here, I think. “15 seconds’ detention for you. Your parents will hear about this one.” Okay, if my if my parents would be happy if I make it out alive, you know to be perfectly honest Oh, I’m so screwed. Okay You son of a bitch UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH Okay. I’m out. I’m out. I’m out. I’m out. I’m out. “I WANNA PLAY WITH SOMEONE!” NO!! Oh shit, not here. Oh no. OH NO!! Okay. School faculty only? I don’t think I’ve been in here. Cassette tape, but I saw- oh no. Oh No, I saw a cassette player. I need to rest. Okay? All right, so you only rest when you stop. Okay good Okay. Ooh, where’s this? “No entering school faculty only rooms in the halls!” But it was it was what if I can do this for you wait, uh, here we go Oh Oh, my ass is grass I don’t know what that’s all about my my ass is grass I Think I’m okay, okay Fine again don’t know what that’s all about. But okay, I Need to go left “LOOKS LIKE IT’S SWEEPIN’ TIME!” (MARK IS CONFUSION) Okay, this is a bully? Please don’t bully me okay. Oh wow That is weird. All right. All right. Whoa, I’m not doing nothing. You were doing something 9 a 2-0. Okay, this is fine. It’s fine. I’ve got four of seven and four seven sounds guud Oh, man, that slapping… “HEEHEE” “GOTTA SWEEP, SWEEP, SWEEP!” SWEEPSWEEPSWEEPSWEEPSWEEPSWEEPSWEEPSWEEPSWEEPSWEEPSWEEPSWEEP Okay, all right, I’m not going by the bully yeah, I guess the bully wants my money Maybe the bully wants money cuz I got money. I don’t know what else to give the bully Okay, what have we got in here? What the hell kind of cafeteria is this? Oh Okay. All right Cola? Okay. I don’t have much Mmm Oh, “BSODA.” Okay. I got to just kind of get some space behind me recycling “No running in the halls!” I wasn’t in the hall! “45 seconds’ detention for you. You should know better.” Wasn’t in the hall I was not in-uugh. Wait. “Shy, and tries to be avoided. Doesn’t like being looked at, and gets jealous at people with more notebooks than him.” Okay. Well, that’s me. Oh THIS A PROBLEM! Okay, so I just gotta… I just gotta not run in the hall. We’re going for it. No running in the halls That’s only if the dude can see me, so if I just don’t let him see me Whoa. Whoa, you went through my body, and I’m not okay with that Don’t need anything in there, okay? Let’s just ignore that We’re gonna get the principal’s keys eventually, but not immediately now. Hey, buddy! I’m not running. Oh, oh Okay, I’m gonna try to avoid that guy Is that a giant Nokia cell phone in front of me, or am I going absolutely… batshit crazy? Anything in here? (GASP) Another shiny quarter? I like quarter. I like a shiny quarter. Oh, no, I can’t reach that No, I don’t want to go around! This is a mistake! Hmm “Today’s lesson: how to eat cheese.” I like that kind of lesson. Oh, okay another Classroom on the left, which is good. Okay. Just got it. Mm-hmm, you know Classroom over there… 25 cents for the phone. I don’t know what the phone would do. “Wow” What does “wow” mean? Were you impressed by my amazing math skills? Uhh, 3 Uuhhh, 9 (HORSE NOISES) Okay, he’s there. That’s fine though. Let’s see what happens when I use this. Maybe it’s not a good idea to corner myself like that MMMAYBE, if I was just thinking about something, maybe that would be a bad idea. I’m gonna grab one of these sody pops though I got to find out what’s at the end of this hall before I go the other way I think I’ve got some time This is loop around or is this just a big dead-end? Because if it’s a big dead-end, I’m gonna be very pissed What is that? “Due to unknown reason that have absolutely nothing to do with game design, school faculty cannot currently see through windows.” Okay. Well, that’s good though, right? Oh hi. Oh OOH yay! “The world is big. Class dismissed.” Oh, good. Okay. (DOING THE MATHS) Forever problems. Okay, but this is fine We’re making good progress. We’ve got four. That’s good. Run here. Hopefully that guy doesn’t arrive “LOOKS LIKE ITS SWEEPIN’ TIME!” Is that good or bad- is that good for me or bad for me? I’m gonna try to give this bully a quarter but if I can’t give the bully a quarter, I’m gonna be ooh Oh, Hee-hee. Hi, bully. Hi, would you like a quarter? “Give me something great. Thanks for the generous donation.” Okay. “Doug, dab again and” I don’t know (NUMBERCRUNCHIN) Oh no. I’m gonna be in trouble because he’s gonna be scoochin’ behind me REAL fast now. But I got five of seven! Problem whoa-ho that’s a problem. Oh, oh, oh that is. Oh that’s This is a problem. This is what I call one of those problems. I’m not running. I would never even think of running. Yeah, I am thinking of running. I’m currently thinking of extremely running. Oh, I’m thinking of running. Okay. All right III need I wasn’t I wasn’t I wasn’t I wasn’t I was not I wasn’t Oh No, please no No, no, no, no, no Maybe this is good. Maybe this is good . Okay. “What do you do when the school opens in 7 hours you haven’t hired a janitor? Hire a broom! It sweeps EVERYTHING.” I don’t know. That’s a good thing or a bad thing. No, there’s good or bad Okay, we gotta go… -Okay, we’re good.
-“LET’S PLAY!” No, no, NO, NONONO! NO! NO!! “READY? GO!” Oh, boy. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA NOOOOOO!! Goddammit! I wonder if there’s- I wonder if anybody actually knows what that what what if I wonder if there’s like a correct answer for that one in particular because if there Anything in there? I don’t see anything. I think I’m I saw the prin-. Oh NO! NOT NOW! Oh no. No, no Nine… six… okay cool. We’re making good progress. There’s only one left, and then we just got to get out And I’ve already got the principal’s key, o if it’s hidden behind like the principal’s key or something, I’m in good shape Oh why no no. Oh, that’s too fast. Oh, that’s too fast. Oh, That is oh, oh no. No, no, no. No. No. How in the FLYING fuck? Okay, I’m gonna lock him in here Okay, he got locked so he has to go the long way around. So if there’s the- if there’s-if there’s just- NO! NO! I THINK THAT-NO! That’s-I think-NOOOO!!! That’s-it’s right there! NOO!! OH NOOOOOO!!! NO! So I’m gonna make this one the last I’m gonna make these two the last ones I do because it’s a straight shot to the door after Oh no. Ohh? AH! You tricked me into thinking that I was free! Screw you! No No, not yet Do not play with me. I will be very pissed off. Oh, no, I think I 15… 81… Zero. I think I think he’s coming down the the straight and narrow, but this is the last one so if I can just “Congratulations! You found all seven notebooks!” No! WHAT THE FUCK? WHY AM I HERE? “Now all you need to do is…” That’s not fair! That’s not fair! That’s not fair! THAT’S NOT FAIR! That’s not fair! You can’t just do that to me! That’s not fair. You- you changed where I was somehow. I was here right by it But that didn’t make any sense. So I don’t know just Oh Shitty dicks shitty titty dicks shitty titty dicks shitty titty dicks. No No, please tell me he’s not right there Just two more. Just these two. These two, exit, I’m donezo. I’m done. I’m donezo. Oh no, avoid using- NO! NOOO! No! What are the freaking odds of that? No, no! Okay, don’t you even think about it, okay Okay, I got him locked out. Oh, are you I shouldn’t have used the soda I probably could have made that without that He’s going around but I don’t think he’s gonna be able to make it in time for me to get that I’m gonna get this last one. I’ve got nothing though, which is a big problem so I Just don’t know I don’t know where he’s gonna be based after I get this last one if he’s like decides to be a dick, you know Like like the freakin whistle, man Okay, I got all of them, let’s see where it puts him see where it puts me “Congratulations! You failed all seven notebooks! Now all you need to do is…” GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN!!! No, no no, no No, I just got I just got to do the same thing I did again like pretty much I’ve got the strategy down so There’s not much else to it This is it’s just straight up the same thing so long as I can get it perfect without getting interrupted without Jumping rope getting in the way. I Should be fine. Oh, I get it Baldi You’re incredibly disappointed. The end game looks like insanity if they’re gonna be moving if they’re gonna be moving the exit like that I’m going to NEED Absolutely 100% I’m gonna need to Go I’m gonna need to save both of these soda cans so that I can get away from them because if it’s just a series of long hallways then I can Just blast him constantly like that and then I can get out of here Oh who’s trying to call me? Not now I’m in the middle of Baldi! No, oh do not I (DEEP BREATH) EEEUUUUYUUUIIIYUUUIIUUEUU Don’t know if he’s gonna get in this room He’s perfect unless that sweeper puts him right next to me what you might 10 14 Okay, here we go. This is it and then I just go towards the I know where the exit is “Congratulations! You failed all seven notebooks!” “Now all you need to do is…” “GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN!!!!” Okay, I think I got this (BALDI LAUGHING) He’s way away. And I know where the exit is. You cannot fool me. I know exactly where it is. It’s right here This is the exit. Oh, no, little girl. No, no. No, I will push you away with soda little girl I will put you you get away from me not know. What no, no no no No, how know you I Thought it was a trick I thought it would be the real one were the real ones if I had just gone to the other one first Nope not today buddy, okay He’s gonna go a long way back for that one. Here’s another “exit” quote-unquote. We’ll see what this one actually does If it’s something to do with the principal’s keys, I’m gonna be so I don’t like that sound! No. Nnnaow! NO! Ugh! UGHH! A U U G H H ! ! ! A U O O O H ! ! WOOAHH!! WOAH! WOH! DEAD CRASH BANDICOOT MEME HERE. WOAHHhhhhat the FHUCK-ING… WAT HA HHUCKING… Hohhh, guhI’m… I’m bon’d I’m… I’m dh.. I am Dead. I’m ded, I’m ded diszzzffhh. Aoughh, Ff Fwoah! FfooaaAAAAEUHHH! WhAT the FUCKing NO!!!! Is there no winning? Is there- Welcome to “Baldi’s Basics and Education and Learning” That’s Meeeeeee!!!! 😀 Do I have to look up a guide how to beat this? (probably yes Markipoo) so what you have to do is you have to trigger all of them you have to do all and Then you’re free. So I got three *EXTREME CONCENTRATION FOR MATH PROBLEMING* I got three of the four and the last one’s in the cafeteria six of seven Doing well. It’s coming around the cool. No. No, you fucking asshole do not oh my god Do not do not do not. Oh my god. Oh my god. No, no, no, Leittle gurl: REDY? Mark: AUUGHHH! Leittle gurl: …Gooooooo! O N E ! ! T W O O ? ! Threeee!!!! foouurr… Well, there goes every possibility of me actually doing what I needed to do which is Fucking gone, but at least I’m still alive I didn’t know if that would be able to do it but I’m still like as soon as I get around this corner I’m I’m done Yeah Okay, so I need a different route cuz that’s not working okay, this might be it just gotta play perfectly Okay So I’ve got this what I’m gonna do is when I get around here he’s coming quick, but I think I’ve got enough space I just need to lock this door Jump-rope kid: LET’S PLAY! Mark: N O O O O! Mark: NO! THE ONLY THING I COULDN’T HAVE! The ONE thing I couldn’t have I was right FUCK -ING THERE!!!!! GOD DAMN IT!! D:

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  2. mark: does anything

    every orange,tall dude, disgusting sock, spaghetti-haired girl, possessed broom and knock-off of mario in mario teaches typing in a 100 mile radius: no

  3. i put this on a usb stick, went to a elementary school, and put this game on every computer that could play it (Every computer in the library)

  4. I have to take the math portion of my GED day after tomorrow. Consequently, I thought it would be a fitting time to re-watch this. Wish me luck.

  5. While watching this, I remembered the first time I watched this when it first came out. I was eating a cinnamon roll.

    I want a cinnamon roll now.

  6. Since I've watched this I randomly chase my friend like baldi. As soon as she hears the slap against my hand she starts screaming.

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