Aladdin Deck Enhancer (NES) – Angry Video Game Nerd (AVGN)
Articles Blog

Aladdin Deck Enhancer (NES) – Angry Video Game Nerd (AVGN)

September 5, 2019

Ugh… man… These games, I tell ya! Y’know, that one’s alright, though! Ughhhhh, but that one… Ah, man, most of these games are SHIT! [stomach churning] Oh… That reminds me… I’ll be right back! [bowels continue to gurgle] [fart sounds] [loud grunting, farting, and squeezing] [GASP!] Aladdin?! [ploop] [Aladdin laughs and farts] What the fuck?! [flies buzzing] Aladdin… took an upper-decker in my toilet! Aladdin…! …took an upper-decker! [sloshing water] [♪ fanfare ♪] [♪ 8- bit AVGN theme ♪] Ugh… the Aladdin Deck Enhancer. What the hell does this thing do? It enhances your deck? Does it give me a new Char-Broil grill? Some new patio furniture or somethin’? Ahhh! “Upgrade your Nintendo Entertainment System”? Wow! Really? “Designed by the inventors of Game Genie”?! That thing that helps ya cheat, and enter all kinds of crazy codes? The Game Genie was awesome! So, I bet this thing will be pretty cool! “64K memory upgrade for better graphics, bigger games”? Nice! [reading box]
“Aladdin is the future in console gameplay!” Okay, let’s see it “upgrade” my NES games! Maybe it’ll take shitty games, and turn ’em into good games! Huh? It doesn’t fit. [plastic clicking] Oh, I see. It has its own special cartridges. Look at that “EXTENSIVE” library! …of six games. Plus its own pack-in title, Dizzy the Adventurer. If only I had those special Aladdin deck games. Aladdin: Did somebody say “Aladdin”? AVGN: Oh, are these all the games here? Aladdin: Yes, Nerd! It’s a WHOLE new world of gaming! AVGN: I’ll show you a whole new world… …Of PAIN! [punching and grunting] Alright. Oh, y’know what? That fucker didn’t give me Micro Machines. Hmm… I’ll just buy it on the Internet. Alriiiight! Let’s see. …Wait a minute. This isn’t Micro Machines for the Aladdin Deck Enhancer! This is a Micro Machines thermos made by some company called… “Aladdin”! And it’s dirty. [whooshing, followed by a jingle] Genie: Oh man, bein’ cooped up in a thermos for twenty years REALLY stiffens the joints! Time to stretch! AVGN: Okay, first Aladdin upper-decks my toilet, now a genie comes out of a Thermos. This review’s gettin’ pretty fucky. Genie: Since you freed me, I’m gonna grant you some wishes, Nerd! AVGN: Huh! Well, I guess I wish for… …a copy of Micro Machines on the Aladdin Deck Enhancer! Genie: You got it, buddy! One Micro Machines for the Deck Enhancer, comin’ right up! AVGN: Wow, thanks! That’s actually, uh, a pretty lame wish I just made. Genie: So, what’s your second wish? AVGN: Oh, nice! I get more? Genie: Yup! You get three wishes, hombre! AVGN: Good! Alright… … well, then I wish for you to go swimming in a SEPTIC TANK! Genie: You got i— …Wait, what? AVGN: Yeah! You heard me. A sewage skinny dip in the most foul, disgusting, jam-packed septic tank that you could possibly find! Genie: Dang, that’s messed up. Well, here you go. Oh yeah, and if he comes back I’m comin’ up with somethin’ even better for my third wish. Anyway, let’s play the games. First, let’s start with the pack-in game: Dizzy the Adventurer. So, the first thing you gotta do: You take the cartridge, [plastic clicking]
you insert it into the Enhancer like this — mmph! [plastic clicking]
Yeah! That is just… mmh! Somethin’ about that… …that’s just so satisfying, ya know? [plastic clicking]
That’s some good — mmh! — cartridge insertion there. Alright, let’s get on with the game. [electric sparks and shorts] [small explosion noise] Aah!
[small explosion noise] What the fuck?! That almost killed me! I guess my Top Loader took one too many bad games. Well, no worries — I have some alternatives. Well, I tried every system I own that plays NES games — none of it works. So, again, it’s time to consult the Internet. [clacking keyboard slaps, this time, in a primitive matter] Norman: “So, let’s take a look at the Aladdin Deck Enhancer!” AVGN: Wait a minute — he has TWO of ’em? Nobody has two! Who would own multiple copies of something that shitty? Norman: “If you try to use it on a Top Loader, it could potentially fry your system.” “It also needs—” Well, learned that the hard way. So, it doesn’t work in ANYTHING, except the original NES. Hang on… Okay… so I tried ALL THREE of my original NES models. First one — didn’t work. Second one — didn’t work. And the third one? Game: “Let’s play Dizzy!” It works! Alright! Time to play! “Dizzy and Daisy were walking through the woods searching for Pogie, their pet fluffle”? What’s a fluffle? They accidentally stumble onto the evil wizard Zak’s castle, when Daisy gets a spell put on her and falls into an endless magical sleep. And now, it’s up to Dizzy to save her. Game: “Let’s play Dizzy!” AVGN: Okay, the game starts you off in this cave with a few items and a locked door. Grab the items and use them to get outta the room. You burn the pile of straw with the match, you throw some water on there… Uh… okay…? So I guess don’t get TOO close. Oh, come on! [inhales sharply] [clicky plastic] [sigh] Alright. Game: “Let’s play Dizzy!” AVGN: [sigh] Okay, I feel a little better now. Alright, let’s try to get off the first screen. So you get outta the cave and walk around, you find an item, you talk to a character, and you use the item. It’s an interesting game, but ehh… kinda boring. Now, the one thing I’m really confused about here… …this doesn’t look any better than a regular NES game! Didn’t they say that this was gonna “upgrade” it? In what way is THIS enhancing my NES? It didn’t work in most of them — even destroyed one! Ya know what? Is it at all possible … just maybe… …I’ve been lied to? So yeah, Dizzy’s pretty bland. Like a hard-boiled egg, which is EGG-xactly what it is! …yeah, sorry. On to the next game. Next, we have “The Fantastic Adventures of Dizzy”! Oh ho ho, I bet it’s fantastic. It’s a bit brighter than the last game: It has more colorful graphics, but the gameplay is worse in some parts. This time he doesn’t die in one hit at least, but he’s still just as lame. Using items here is not as easy as in the first one. You have to make sure you pick them up in the right order, otherwise you drop them. I have no idea what to do, and I don’t care to find out! These games are irredeemably boring. I mean, after all — it’s an EGG solving puzzles. All the king’s horses and all the king’s men… …couldn’t get their FUCKIN’ SHIT PUT TOGETHER! Next game. Uh… uh-huh. “Big Nose Freaks Out”. Holy shit! You play as Big Nose the Caveman, slippin’ and slidin’ all over a slimy, shitty, putrid mess of HORRID graphics. The game kinda feels like a mix between Sonic the Hedgehog and Adventure Island, but with all the fun taken out. You bounce on mushrooms and collect bones. You can get a rock-ball, or whatever it is, to shoot at enemies. Without it, you have a club that’s damn near useless: You have to be extremely close to an enemy to hit them, so most of the time, you just take a hit and die. Oh, and the sound? Ugh! It’s like an Atari game, or Mega Man on DOS. [high-pitched beeping] I do like this intro, though, with the “Savings and Bones” bank! Pretty decent pun, but they fuck it up with “Bones ‘R’ Us”! That’s not even clever! Hope they went out of business, too! Next we have “Linus Spacehead’s Cosmic Crusade”. It starts off like a point-and-click, then it goes to basic platforming with some of the worst possible controls. Linus moves as slow as duck shit, and twice as slippery. Trust me, duck shit’s slippery. Once Linus jumps, you’d better be okay with where he’s goin’, because you can’t control him after he leaves the ground. No mid-air steering! You know, like… Mario? Also, he dies in one hit. So if I’m not jumpin’ off cliffs, I’m jumpin’ into enemies. Either way, I die. Linus Spacehead. More like Linus Shithead! Here, we have “Quattro Adventure” and “Quattro Sports”. Each contain four different games — for four times the suckage. Let’s start with Quattro Sports — and the first game on here? “Baseball”. Hitting feels okay, but the ball moves REALLY slow! Oh, and pitching and fielding — those are even worse! I can’t figure out how to throw different pitches, and the players on the field take forever to get to the ball. They just casually stroll around like they don’t give a shit! Yea— my advice? If you’re a baseball fan, play ANY OTHER NES baseball game. Any of ’em. Next is “BMX Simulator” — more like Crashing And Falling Simulator! I can’t stay on the bike for more than eight seconds! The control’s about as shitty as that movie, Rad BMX. “Soccer Simulator”. For those who want a raging headache and motion sickness with their soccer games. The game always switches your control to the player closest to the ball, which should make sense, but every time it switches, I’m not ready, and end up running all over the place! The soccer ball looks like a pepperoni pizza, too. Three sucky Quattro Sports games down, and one more to go. “Pro Tennis”. Wooow, look at this deranged dude. Maybe he REALLY likes tennis. The game ranges from playing like ass to playing like shitty ass. The serve seems to do whatever it wants. The window to hit is so precise, and seems to change whenever it feels like it. Sometimes I can get it, and even ace the computer, but most of the time I fault. You control where you hit with the D-Pad, but sometimes when I’m trying to aim the ball, I end up missing because I ran past it. Oh well! So, “Quattro Adventure”! Four more shitty games, let’s go! Great, Quattro Adventure includes more Dizzy and Linus Shithead. Ugh… “Treasure Island Dizzy” is definitely the worst one so far. It’s slow and choppy, and once again, Dizzy dies from everything. The worst are these death traps that just come outta nowhere and kill you with one hit. How is that fair? A cage that wasn’t even on screen killed me? How, the hell, is anyone supposed to avoid that? I swear, this game was made to piss people off, and make them get buyer’s remorse. Look at this: I try to get the money that’s in shallow water, but Dizzy dies. This is a beginner’s trap if I’ve ever seen one! What kind of video game character can’t tread water that’s just above their head? Could you imagine goin’ to a pool or somethin’ and the second your head goes underwater, you die? Instantly? So fuck this game, and fuck Dizzy! Linus Shithead. Again. Ah, I see. The other game, Linus Cosmic Crusade, was actually the second game. This is the first. So forgive me for reviewing them out of order. If ya care. The first level is an underwater level — oh boy, if you were Dizzy, you would’ve started the level as a corpse! You ride bubbles to the top, but watch out, they pop, and have a completely random pattern. And you have limited time! If you’re not fast enough, Linus drowns! Even after you get to the top, he still loses oxygen! Is he so stupid he just FORGETS to stop holding his breath?! The next level has killer coconuts everywhere. Linus has the same shit controls as the other, so I just die. Fuckin’ Linus! “Boomerang Kid”! Ugh, the beginning shows this dumb character. “DUUUHH!” There’s a little movie thing playing at the bottom. Boomerang Kid throws a boomerang and clobbers himself. Then he gets harassed by a kangaroo. When the INTRO shows the main character being harassed by a kangaroo and clobbering himself with a boomerang, you KNOW it’s gonna be some FUCK! You run around and collect boomerangs. You can’t attack, and die in one hit. That’s all! There’s nothing else to say. And the last Quattro Adventure game: “Super Robin Hood”. You run around, collecting keys, treasure, and opening doors. Robin Hood has this goofy smile all the time. It’s slow and monotonous, like every other game so far. And remember — this isn’t just Robin Hood, this is SUPER Robin Hood! More like POOPER Robin Hood! One funny thing, though — when you die, you explode into hearts. Robin Hood. Explodes into hearts. Yeah. Well, all these Aladdin games have sucked so far, but I’m hoping, I saved the best for last! Micro Machines. [speaking fast]
Micro Machines! Micro Machines! Feel the shitty power, feel the suck-ass dual traction! [speaking fast]
The graphics are shit, the sound is shit, it fucks you in the eyes, it fucks you in the ears, [speaking fast]
it suckin’ fucks, it fuckin’ sucks, it fuckin’ blows, it’s a piece of shit… It’s actually not that bad. [speaking fast]
Micro Machines is a decent deviation from the dismal, disgusting digest of the Aladdin Deck Enhancer, [speaking fast]
reminiscent of other racing romps, resembling R.C. Pro-Am and Super Off Road. [speaking fast]
It’s a radical, wretched recreational racing regalement brought to you by the great and grand Galoob! [speaking fast]
Race your miniscule mechanisms on a myriad of marvelous micro marathons! [speaking fast]
Choose from a cavalcade of creative and compelling characters [speaking fast]
and collect a crowded congregation of conveyances to put in your car carrier! All in all, an acceptable, adequate addition to the American anthology of Nintendo-associated amusements. But there’s one little problem. This game seems VERY familiar. I know I’ve played it before, but not on the Deck Enhancer. I’m pretty sure I own this on NES! I knew it! Micro Machines! It’s one of those weird-ass gold carts. Those third-party unlicensed titles from the unholy alliance of Camerica and Codemasters. They’re distinguished by those mysterious switches on the back. The switches have two positions: A and B. What are they for? Hm… “Position B. Only use this position if the game does not work with position A.” [scoffs] I-I guess this really confused the shit outta any kids unfortunate enough to own one of these fecal frisbees! But the REAL purpose was to bypass the NES lockout chip, which worked differently depending on which model NES you’re using, hence the need for the switch. They could’ve just said, “To hack the lockout chip, use A or B. Pssst! Don’t tell Nintendo.” But the games can’t be EXACTLY the same, right? 64K memory upgrade! Better graphics! Bigger games! Norman: “But, this is all just marketing hype.” “The Aladdin Deck Enhancer is no different than a standard Camerica cartridge.” “Inside the box is the Deck Enhancer with instructions,” “along with a Dizzy the Adventurer cartridge, and a poster manual for the game.” “Believe it or not—” FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK! [sigh] The games are EXACTLY the same! There’s NO DIFFERENCE! The Deck Enhancer is an add-on that adds NOTHING! They sold you the same games with some assembly required. It would be like getting a new sprayer for your garden hose, but it doesn’t fit, unless you get some special adapter. So you buy the adapter, but the sprayer STILL doesn’t fit! So now, you have to find a completely different sprayer that only exists in special stores, and THEN, you find out it works the same as the old sprayer, doing no better job washing away the horse shit! Actually, there WAS some purpose, theoretically. It was meant to reduce costs. The Deck Enhancer contains most of the necessary chips that make a regular NES game work, so the Aladdin games could be smaller and cheaper. The mentality was that you’d invest in a Deck Enhancer, and then build up your collection for a low price. Well, no thank you, I think I’ll just stick to my regular, third-party, unlicensed, crappy Camerica games. Oh! But of course, there was that one exclusive game, Dizzy the Adventurer! Does that one make it worth it? No. It doesn’t. That box is a prime example of false advertising! “Upgrade your Nintendo Entertainment System”?! More like upper-decking it! And that’s not a joke. I mean it. It is the electronic equivalent of an upper-decker. With the Aladdin, the components that normally go inside an NES cartridge are instead deposited into the deck. In the same way, the turds, which are usually preferred to land in the toilet bowl, are instead dumped into the upper tank. Therefore, when the toilet is flushed, the bowl fills with shit water, and after that, it’s the shit that keeps on giving. Would you consider that an enhancement to your toilet? Well, give it a try, and you’ll know EXACTLY what the Aladdin does to your NES! Why does the box say “Aladdin is the future in console gameplay”? The Sega Genesis and Super Nintendo were already out! That’s like saying you invented a brand new car that’s got new safety features and uses clean energy, but it’s got pillows tied to it and it runs on coal! This thing had no future at all! All the “Coming Soon” games were cancelled, and Camerica went out of business right after this thing was… …released? They went out of business right after it was ANNOUNCED!!! [stammering ] I—it was a death sentence! A curse! A curse that shrouds its release status in all-consuming mystery! Not even the Gaming Historian found any clear proof that it ever got officially released! I mean, sure, it got made an—and discovered thanks to inventory liquidators and eBay, bu—but if this thing never officially came out, then not only did it not have any future… …it didn’t have any past, either! How am I supposed to take you back to the past, when there’s no fucking past?! I have no business complaining about something that didn’t even come out! I wasted my breath! Why did I have to find this thing?! Aahh, I might as well just be diggin’ into the Devil’s asshole! Fuck! [magic sounds] Genie: Hey, I’m back. AVGN: What are you doin’ back here? Genie: Look, man, I’m just here to grant you your last wish so I can get outta here. AVGN: Oh yeah, that’s right, I get one more wish. Okay! Well, for my last wish… I wish… …ya know, I think we’ve both suffered enough. Yeah, so… I wish… every Aladdin Deck Enhancer — on the whole planet Earth… … will fucking explode. Genie: You got it, dude! Smell ya later! [explosion] [small explosion noise]
Rerez: Oof! [large, quick explosion] [explosion]
JLuv81: Shit! [large explosion] [quick explosion] Rocco: What the fuck?! [explosion with breaking glass] Pam: What the fuck? John: …the Aladdin Deck Enhancer, we’ll try… — HOLY BALLS! [explosion]
John: …the Aladdin Deck Enhancer, we’ll try… — HOLY BALLS! [small explosion] [low explosion] [explosion and scream] [fireworks] Bobdunga: Omigod! Shawn: Ow! …What the Hell just happened?! Candi: What the hell?! Game Dave: [gasp] Not my Aladdin Deck Enhancer collection! [screams] [explosion] Riff: Well, wasn’t too bad! [small explosion] Whoo! Yeaah…

Only registered users can comment.

  1. Special thanks to all the YouTubers who sent in clips for the ending. Check out the description for links to their channels! AVGN fire NES skin by CustomNESGuy:

  2. Claude from GTA III is worse off when it comes to water. He dies being waist into the water with his head very well above it. Either than or the water in GTA III is a subject of extreme contamination.

  3. I bought this new with all the games on eBay just to have it in my collection many years back. I never opened any of it. I didn't realize they were the same games as their gold carts. As a collector we need more competition in the gaming scene other than the big 3. Wait I think I just heard something upstairs noooooooo!

  4. They went right out of business right after the deck enhancer was even released? Yeah, where have i heard THAT before?
    Superman llll? Get out of my memory.

  5. he could have wished for anything… Banjo Threeie, Timesplitters 3, Half Life 3, Mario Galaxy 3, Conkers Bad fur day 2, but he burned 2 wishes on a shitty nes accessory.

  6. I noticed that at 5:18 there’s hundreds of copy’s of ET on the wall. Probably the ones they used in the AVGN movie.

  7. Who here wants a house like the AVGN a basement full of games media collection and an absolute beast of a video making studio? I know I do!

  8. oh my god i just saw it now and got the pun, "who would own multiple copys of something that shitty" and the huge pile of E.T. games in the background x)

  9. Pretty funny video. Not all the Camerica games were bad though. Micro Machines, Fantastic Dizzy, Bee 52, Super Robin Hood, Firehawk, and Ultimate Stuntman are all pretty good.

  10. I had played a version of Quattro Sports seen @10:30 & I was thankful. It was NES and might have been packaged under a different name.

  11. 14:03 Did anyone else know that James was a Grade-A-Tier speed talker? Man, he needs to take up radio advertising! He'd be killer! XD

  12. You know, listening to that….16 bit?…..16 bit version of the Aladdin music, I'd honestly listen to it in my car. Even in 16 bit it's not bad

  13. 17:44
    For some reason "DIZZY: THE ASSHOLE!" with the Goofy look on the Egg's Face, just made me piss myself laughing!

  14. The games don't actually even look the same. It looks worse on the Deck enhancer, you can see that something about the resolution looks fucked.

  15. I am surprised the genie simply blown up the Aladdins, I would have expected to see them blowing up into hearts as in super Robin Hood

  16. … I know I'm probably late, but I just had a thought. Doesn't Big Nose the Caveman look like that fuzzy guy from Action 52?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *