7 of the Worst Free games on Steam – Rev [Vinesauce]
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7 of the Worst Free games on Steam – Rev [Vinesauce]

October 21, 2019

Uh, this game… is not actually one of the seven… …technically worst free games. I-it’s actually, I think reasonably well rated for some reason… …but it was sort of the, uh, the catalyst for, um, me doing this. Because I was like, “Okay, this is considered positively rated. What is bad?” [pleasant music plays]
Is it just me or is it impossible to read any of this? I’ve got a decent enough system that I can max out this game. Oh. Okay, my computer is chugging now. Maybe my computer is not good enough to do this. Yeah. It appears as if my computer is actually not… [laughing] …good enough to play this game about a bee! I think they spent all of their… like, I-I’m not gonna say “budget”, but like… umm… …”Ability To Make Game”… on grass and foliage. Just takin’ a BEEline to space. So anyway, this is what a good free game apparently looks like on Steam. I figured we’d start here. Fortunately, this game was smart enough to allow us to continue to go to space… and, um, that- that’s good, ‘cuz that’s what bees do. We have confirmed Flat Earth Theory. Confusingly, the world is not even, like, circular. It’s just… …just flat. It’s a square. So this is a game that wants to be Sniper Elite, but is… probably a mobile port. I mean, y’know. This is just how we roll. [gunshot, high-pitched whine]
That is an awful sound. [Rev cackles] [Rev cackles some more] [high-pitched whine] Ah, I missed. [chuckles] I love the ragdoll, it’s so good! Radio comm: “Happy hunting!” Radio comm: “Ugh, just get out of there.” [Rev chuckles] [Rev chuckles some more] Yeah…! Alright, see if you can figure out what’s wrong with this game. Play, uh, th-the trireme in, um, Attack Mode. It’s interesting that I get to see his hand. So if you haven’t figured it out by now, this is literally just Yu-Gi-Oh. “Where’s Kaiba?” Uh, we haven’t gotten to that. I wanna get Exodia going. I don’t even know if I’ve got Exodia in this deck. We might have to try and build a deck that gives us Exodia. I wonder what, what… what culture Exodia is from. Is that a… is that a Chaos Space Marine? I don’t think that’s… I don’t think that’s an actual ancient Persian god. I think that’s just a Chaos Marine. So all-in-all, it’s not too bad looking, really. I have the tiniest gun, or the biggest hands. [gunfire] [gunshot] Oh, okay. I’m gonna have to reload every shot, aren’t we? Hold on. [bullets flyby sounds] S’good. Is he a Juggalo? I-it’s good that they have the spawn for one of the things you have to capture right outside the base, so there’s… [gunfire] S’good. It’s a good game. Oh, he’s gonna try and knife fight me. I accept your challenge. [gunfire] Good. Good game. Clearly, uh, a contender for being a better shooter than, than Counter-Strike and ARMA… and, and all of those games. Um, I’ve teleported. [gunfire] They didn’t expect my ninja magic! [crickets chirp]
Thrilling gameplay right here. We’re just gonna camp here until… I can actually leave. And then I’mma try and sneak out. Don’t even have to worry about- I mean, not that LuigiGuy would screenwatch but, like… This is such a “Not Area”, that th-th… he would have no way to know where I’m at. [wind blows] [‘Autumn, movement 3: Allegro’ from Vivaldi’s ‘Four Seasons’ plays in the distance] [overdramatic music plays] [door creaks] [wolf howls in distance] [Rev laughs] [Rev laughs] Yeah…! I think the main issue with this game is that, um… it’s Early Access? There’s some problems with the game being Early Access AND point-and-click. You really can’t choose to be both. This project was Kickstarted for $8,000 according to SK Rats… on Steam. And took four years to make. “The sun radiatin-” I like how the marker is actually kinda clipping into things, it’s… We’re only, like, three mouse-clicks into the game and it’s already fucked up. This is the woman of our dreams, chat. [pleasant guitar music plays] Looks like a wikiHow article. Looks slightly different than the last image that we saw of you. I just wanna see the art, honestly. [nearly laughing] I don’t think anyone actually gives a shit about the… the gameplay, do they? I wonder how long this game is? [pleasant music continues] [sudden gunshots]
[music becomes more sinister] Oh! Okay, I did miss something there. “Four repeated pops that make my body cringe. Mikayla’s body has the same reaction, she falls silent-” [starts laughing] What the fuck! [laughter] “I swing in front of Mikayla, arms extended to protect the person who means the most to me.” A person who is allowing me to get at least ONE… date. [police siren wails]
“The man’s finger tightens around the trigger of the gun. He’s decided to kill us.” “Get down!” “The sound of first bullet flying by my head is quickly interrupted by the stinging sensation of pain drilling into my sel-” [gunshots]
“…left shoulder.” [Rev wheezes] What the fuck IS this game?! I haven’t even made a choice yet and we’ve already fucked it up! What is this?! Like, is this an actual sentence? “My body squeezing down through the… joints of my legs against the… sidewalk.” Like, is he clipping? Is he, like… clipping through his legs? Did you just, like, T-pose into the ground? Okay, now there’s some blood. It’s anime, though, so it’s purple. This is a great first date! It’s going great so far. Why… why does she look like this now? Why is this Mikayla now? This is not what Mikayla looks like at all! Wait, no! That’s- That’s an entirely different person again AND a different outfit! You can’t just do that! [accordian music plays]
There’s a lot going on in this shot. He’s like The Old Fonz. Like, I’d imagine The Fonz is still wearing the same leather jacket this many years on. And his head shrunk, and he’s bald. So I guess, uh, my family got scared because I got shot by robbers and they decided to move me to a different school. So are these three separate characters or the same character three times? Th-There’s something to doing anime eyes correctly and there’s another way of doing it where you do It completely wrong. Why are you in my room? Are we sharing the same room? There’s only one bed in here. How is this gonna work? [calm music plays]
What is this music? Are we gonna fuck? Do I need to turn this off? Am I gonna get banned on Twitch if I keep playing this game? “Yeah, what’s good, broski?” “He glances back to me… with a bright smile, ignoring the fact that I’m half-naked.” Which half? The top half or the bottom half? “I find Matt and… Elric…” A normal name(!) “…sitting at the same table, both of them silently eating a bowl of cereal.” One bowl of cereal. They’re both eating from the same bowl of cereal. “Morning.” “Hey, man.” [attempts to pronounce “Hrhrhmmghpllh” by making weird mouth noises] [laughing] Why is he eating in front of his face?! “Tell her off.”
[furiously mashes keyboard] We’re not trying to make friends, we’re trying to… beat games. So this is just it. It’s gonna be more story. “He stumbles back, catching his balance before grinning slowly- slyly, as if feeling special for his quick reaction.” “Lucky I didn’t fall into ya. Otherwise I woulda creamed all over yo-” [starts laughing] Okay! Okay, we’re done here. [laughing] We’re fuckin’ done! [more laughter] Can I, like, hold my breath or anything, or… [high-pitched whine] Right up the butthole. Radio comm: “You really know how to handle that thing!” Thanks.

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  1. Remember when Steam was getting flooded with Horror, Survival, and Rougelike games?

    Now it's Card games, Visual Novels, and VR shit.

  2. i see the youtube's comment part is working great, just have to re-fresh the page wait and then get it in the exzact pixel perfect place to activate the spinny thing that is loading the comments

  3. It's sad how most of the games that are for free on Steam were (for the most part) better than the seven shitty games that were paid for to play on Steam a year or so ago.

  4. "I'm not gunna say budget…" no you shall say BEEdget xD lol get it cuz there's bees ..it's kinda funny but only if you get family guy kinda humor lol which is pretty edgy but only in some parts mostly funny you can watch it on kisscartoon

  5. 7:41– You know, I was just thinking it would be funny if one of those guys was named Elric. I can’t even believe it myself.

    Btw that would be even more hilarious if you’ve read The Elric Saga.

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