50,000 CHICKENS VS. NUCLEAR BOMB | Ultimate Epic Battle Simulator #3
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50,000 CHICKENS VS. NUCLEAR BOMB | Ultimate Epic Battle Simulator #3

August 16, 2019

*wapoosh* Top o` the morning to ya` laddies! My name is jacksepticeye. And welcome back to Ultimate Epic Battle Simulator. the game is actually out now The game is actually out now I think there is some new stuff gone into it Is ther- Yeeeeah! now we actually have new maps and there is something else that people have told that me you can do in the game which wasn’t I don’t think was in the game because it’s even in the control menu or anything it’s not there but apparently you can press “N” to launch a nuke which I think is going to be fuckin awesome ooooooooo unit customise *silence* *silence* woah! ok! so there is a lot of new stuff in the game now (what did you expect?) since it actually came out so let`s try the City of Lost Crusades umm no you guys need to go away uh none and and what else do I have none Right is there any new units? *pause* Ancient Greece… needs pie *pause* Roman Spartans… *pause* Wild-men and Persians are they new? *pausing* Evil zombies, no I just think I didn’t actually go into them Any new animals? ooooh there is a jackie boi!!!!!! YES! So the units still seem the same *pause* Orcs and giant ogres you there ogre – said lord Farquad in Shrek I made that joke already Umm let’s do some Spartans ummmmm 250? No… uh… 300 duuuuh *pause* even though everybody else has probably done this by now The 300 spartan thing, right what`s this map look like alright this could be fun imma put my 300 spartans in here uh… here and i’m gonna make them hold and i’m gonna make them hold hold positions cause that`s what Spartans do, They plop their shields down and they hoooooooold, even tho thats Brave-Heart but shut up! Leave me alone! and we’ll put them against someee zombies uhhhhh… A thousand zombies! to be precise, and where we put the zombies because I want the zombies to kind of spread out as they come in. Put you over here and see where you end up going! Ooo this map’s kind of cool! you can actually dick around a lot with this there`s my 300 Spartans anyways you can d**k around a lot with this in the fact that… you can dick around a lot with this in the fact that You could put like…(incoherent stuttering) soldiers like *incoherent stuttering* soldiers in the middle and then soldiers all around the outside and see what happens; OHHH thats what we’ll do next, but for now I wanna` see if my zombinos can kill these guys you guys ready? your… facing the fucking wall though *pause* which is not gonna be that good, because these are coming over this side. *pause* Oh yeah, these guys look angry! *Groans* Oh yeah, these guys look angry! (Groaning) *Zombie imitation* Hey! Anybody got some smokes? Alright let`s go. HAAAAAAA Yeah, this is what I wanted to see. Was the A.I take different pathways Some of them don`t know where their goin`, they`re like: Ohh, my friends are over theere but this group seems cooler So, i`ll probably just go this way, it`s a catch 22 lads I`m not gonna` deny ya` that. There`s a nice big, gold statue over here. Let`s slow this down for a sec What are you? OoooOOoo ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) *pause* Can YOU be a unit? I would love to see some giant units in the game Like a, like a GIANT ogre That you could have, like you could craft full units like, footmen, then some archers and then some ogres in the background, you kinda have that but I love some more customisation for `em, ok This makes shite all of a difference. There we go, OH these Spartans are REALLY fucking strong! There we go, OH these Spartans are REALLY f**king strong! *Staring in amazement* ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) OHH I didn`t know you guys would be this strong and you guys are all coming single-file like a f**king conga line like a fucking conga line zombie, zombie, ZOMBIE! (x2) Your all gonna` die at this rate. Ya’ see zombies? I think your biggest problem is your speed! See your just not being fast enough and then you split up in here for some reason and end up coming in an even EASIER file If you all just piled in together you`d win this! Well, maybe not win it but you`d at least kill one! As of now you’ve killed no-one As of now you’ve killed no-one Man they sound like minions Oh god! oh god, hahahah *Laughs* Look at the fucking pile of bodies! look at the fookin’ pile of bodies ok lets turn off this so i can actually see things better So i can actually see things better omg is that gonna factor into anything? Oh my god! *Chuckles* Is that gonna factor into anything? ( How the fuck should we know?!) soo many dead zombies SO many dead zombies! hoohoohaahaa *Chuckle* nope. No spartans killed yet Nope, no spartans killed yet. fookin hell Fuckin hell! This is a bit of a disaster because, Nobody’s dying, and all the zombies are just being killed so… nobody’s dying and all the zombies are just being killed. So, Let’s level the playing field by dropping… said nuke I wanna see how far away I can drop them from… *presses ‘N’* :O OHHH O.O Hooooly F**k!! *:O intensifies* Okay! So–well I should’ve guessed! It’s a NUKE So… zombies win?? Team 2, zombies victorious cuz they’re apparently 60 of them still left… *silence* Where?? Oh… So you guys were far enough away?? Hahaha That’s quite the blast radius… Okay, over here? *presses ‘N’* *insert noise here?* JEASUS CHRIST Das awesome!! 😀 Hahahaha Okay! Ohh! We are gonna d**k around with this! Aight I wanna test out my, my thing of Putin– soldier’s all around for, for now we have some Spartans… we have some heavy knights… we have some Romans and… Im trying to match stuff up as best as possible…Orcs… like strength wise because it doesn’t tell you how strong each units are so you kind of have to guess ooh weather random clear rai- rain! I like me some rain in these games it gives it a very helm’s deem battle type feel to it but yeah I wish it told you like oh spartans have this much health each and this much attack or anything so you could kind of balance out the battles Cuz for now it’s kind of like a guessing game *long pause* u gunna load? :c alright I think the spartans might win this cuz their *stutters* Quite a bit stronger than everybody else ummm ya acculy lets speed it up for now and lets watch the battle commence! 😀 Oh yess 😀 This is cool I wanna know who clashes first well these guys…are just running over to these ones… This whole place isn’t symmetrical, these guys are just fighting over here outside the city And then these guys are gonna fight in it… they look like beatles… And not, not the singers Oh yeah Spartans are WAY too strong… Are you ready? *in a mock spartan voice* They have 250 health and you guys have 110 Okay… So i’d have to math that out… To balance out the…the health Per thing… hmm… Let’s actually math that out now… So the Spartans have 75000 health… and the Romans only have 33000 Total! Between all the soldiers 300 vs 300 so… I’d need to balance out the ratio but I still don’t think that’s gonna matter… *long pause* Because the Spartans only lost one dude so far… And they’re just plowing through these guys How are you guys doing? What’s going on over this side? *very long pause* This seems fairly cool… The Orcs have 263 remaining and the heavy knights… Have 256 So the–oh yeah cos I’ve–I battled these guys before. These are fairly matched… So this is going to be a cool battle. And then… The spartans are gonna rush over after this And finish off whatever’s left… Cos these guys are all nearly dead *RIP nearly dead dudes* SPARTANS!!! WHAT IS YOUR PROFESSION? AUGH! (x3) *normal voice* I have to. You can’t just put 300 Spartans into a game Well there’s… How many of them are left? 295. We only lost 5 Spartans. You can’t put them into a game and not do the impressions and the sounds>:T Oh this’ll be interesting. Are you guys gonna go left or right? I have a feeling they’re gonna attack the Orcs. Yeah Path of least resistance It had to be. Okay! Go! Now the Orcs have this bullsh*t to deal with. Which– *pause* is fine because normally… *more pausing* The guys in the back aren’t doing anything cos the AI isn’t there yet to make… Formations and things–OHH? This guy broke away he’s probably gonna fookin’ die… Cos how much health do these guys have? These guys have 500 health. OOH and how much do the Orcs have? 500 as well so that’s why those guys are evenly matched… Spartan’s not going down though! Cos it doesn’t matter how many health they have, it matters how much damage they’re doing. Cos if he can do more damage per swing than the knights can, then technically he’ll still be stronger… Cos I think the Spartans might win this. Cos he took out like, 3 3 2 or 3 guys on his own? YESS! Interesting! I’m not–I’m just fascinated by it, I’m fascinated by the AI that’s in this. And I think there’s still a ways to go in regards to formation And guys like, breaking away and… Being able to funnel some of my guys over here and some of them over here but then it kinda just turns into a real time strategy game. And lots of games do that already, so… I dunno… I love, I love seeing the algorithm go to work And seeing how…… The AI behaves and what it attacks first an…… I don’t know Just what goes on its fascinating, Yea Spartans are gunna win There’s still 290 Spartans left so only 10 of them have died in total between like 3 factions so far They’re insane! *squeeling pig* There we go Spartans are victorious only 10 of them died *look of disgust followed by a long awkward silence* WHAT! (Spartans yelling attack)Could ya speak up! Am I ready, Yes No mercy COOL Alright lets check out Avalanche canyon What is this, Are you actual Avalanche potential Ya can’t just call it Avalanche canyon and not actually have avalanches happen so I’m gunna put 300 Spartans up there Aaaand Or more soldiers So lets see how much the Spartans actually do The Spartans do 120 damge versus the Heavy Knights 62 So they were almost doing double damage So how much do the World War 2 guys do Oh U.S soldier there we are You do 25 but again…. See now we’re getting into trickier terrortory because it counts with your health, the damage you’re outputting but it also counts on how many…. swings or how much damage you do per second so 25 damage per shot…. pu dow pu pu put down like 1000 shots per minute Whatever So… Still not sure And lets see chunk noris Is he even in there

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  1. Dear Jack, you really should do a livestream on this game. This game is perfect for a livestream. If you do then this will be my favorite livestream in the world. Like nothing will top that. This will forever be my favorite livestream, it is impenetrable to be my favorite one. This game is vigorously the best. Like if you have an agreement with me. XD

    Also one last thing. Like this not only if you agree but for jack to see this comment. Thank you for service and agreement. Peace out✌???????

  2. but more health (less power) means more time to do damage and less health (more power) means less time to do damage but more damage dealt so it might even out!

  3. Not sure if you know this Jack, but block chance also factors into this. Spartans have among the highest block chance, plus they attack with spears. There's a reach distance for weapons in the game to.

  4. 4:19 if you look closely to the Spartans shields they have A's written on them.

    A+Spartans= Assassin's Creed: Odyssey

  5. im tierd of saying this but im from Greece, and its funny seeing a 22M subs American youtuber talk about our history EAVEN THO WE HAVE THE MOST KNOWN HISTORY IN THE WORLD!

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